Someone Help (page 2)

jgnat

Some clarity here,

I've kind of got myself into a bit of trouble and I'm not sure what to do....I've recently fallen pretty hard for a JW. We actually love each other.

Does that include being intimate with him?

I'd be willing to change my ways bit I'm scared of doing it for the wrong reasons.

Accepting a JW bible study will "change your ways" more than you can imagine. I suspect that his family will not allow the two of you to date no matter how much you study. Your motive will be constantly questioned, and you may be made to wait up to a year AFTER baptism before engagement/marriage. In all that time you will not be allowed to be alone together. Being alone together is the same as fornication in a JW's eyes.

Before you met your JW boyfriend, had you put much thought in to your spirituality? Really, you should research things for yourself and know WHAT you believe, before you go and join ANY religion.

Kristofer

I will tell you what people on this board told me when I came here looking for the same kind of answers...

RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK!

I am still in love with a JW woman but she thinks that I am an innocent bystander under Satan's control trying to take her away from Jehovah. I urge you, do not change your ways. You should not have to change who you are and what you believe for anyone. Find someone to accept you just the way you are.
I was told the rhetoric that she can't mix with unbelievers. I told her that I am a believer. I believe in the same God, I just believe different things about HIM and the WORD. She was actually the smarter one in the sense that she left me because she knew the odds would be against us with the added burden of differing faiths. I still wanted to be with her and even sacraficed having children to do so...
I'm sure that would have been a mistake.
Trust me, if anyone should change their faith, it should be him, not you.
Send me a PM if you would like..

Black Sheep

He is a member of a high control cult.

He, like myself, will be suffering from the subtle psychological abuse of his childhood.

If you really love him you can try to release him from the Watchtower's mind control, but it will be a very difficult task. You need to know more about his religion than he does to do it. It could be a very rewarding task. Jws do try to have very high moral standards, their problem is just that they get those standards from the WT.

If he has JW family he would lose their support if he left the WT and it is a requirement of the WT that they shun him! That would make it very difficult to have any sort of normal relationship with your inlaws.

Tread carefully and make sure you are fully informed. JWs have a habit/policy of not telling you the whole truth.

I wish you a happy life, whatever path you choose.

Chris

sass_my_frass

I wish that everybody who came on this board with this story had their threads added to one big 'Help I've fallen for a JW' thread, so that you could see how identical your experiences are. You'll probably find a few on the 'best of' pages or the 'relationships' topic.

The short story is: stay true to yourself. If you are to be with somebody, it should be because you're already right for each other, not because you will be if one of you changes in a way that the other person likes.

Honesty

The thing is...we had to break things off because im not one.

I was one.

My ex-wife still is one.

My children are being taught Watchtower Style love and Christianutty.

I discovered that the Watchtower style of love and Christianutty is a far cry from what Jesus taught.

I am not one now.

Dismembered

Run, It won't work. To quote Witnesses. "What sharing do light (dubs) & darkness (you) have together. Take anyone heres advice who advises you to run, and do just that. RUN! You'll save yourself a lifetime of trouble.

Dismembered (from the been there and done that crowd)

AK - Jeff

Welcome JLH to the board.

Point #1 - You are only 18. Please think hard and long before you enter a forever relationship with this guy. Two years from now you will be glad you did not -

Point #2 - You would absolutely be doing what you suggest for all the wrong reasons - and you would then find yourself in a demoralizing situation when you decide to leave the cult behind in the future.

Point #3 - Do as all the previous posters have stated - read all you can on this board about jw/non jw relationships.

It is a tangled web, please proceed with caution.

Jeff

fullofdoubtnow

H i JLH, and welcome to the forum.

I can only add to what others have said already by advising you to move on. I know it will hurt, but the pain would heal in time. I f you become a jw for, as you put it, the wrong reasons, the potential hurt is far, far greater there. As one poster said, he should love you as you are, but he won't, I m afraid, not if he is serious about being a jw.

Whatever you do I wish you well. Do stay with us.

love

Linda

defective light

The thing is...we had to break things off because im not one.

If you fall for this BS You will be:

ONE of them....and you dont want to go there.

who said you had to be ONE, to love someone ?

you will be controled by:

One mindless boyfriend ....

ONE goofy religious cult....

Advice......don't become ONE!

Someone Help

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