So I just got back from the convention - yes, feel pity on me... I had to attend all three days, spend money on a crappy hotel, sleep in a crappy town, sit on my ass for 8 hours a day, and all just to hear about the same old crap you can read in any Watchtower.
I didn't take notes because not only would my head have exploded from the sheer boredom and stupidity, but I would be responsible for all your heads exploding as well. Are there any highlights? Lets see....
They issued a new 192 page book called Keep Jehawbwer's Day in Mind, or something like that. Didn't get a copy because the lines to get one were rediculously long and the thought of rubbing shoulders with hordes of mindless shells of persons didn't appeal to me.
One of the Bethel speakers went on and on about how they are placing hundreds of thousands of copies of the Bible Teach book PER MONTH. He said that for the month of April, they placed over 800,000 copies worldwide. I thought to myself, "crappers! who's placing them? and who are they placing them with?" Then a laughed inwardly when I thought of the 1% decline in numbers for the US. So if each babtism takes 8,000 hours to accomplish, it must take about 20,000 Bible Teach books to learn them! Absolutely hilarious.
The rest of the stuff was the same old drivel. The demonstrations were flabergastingly dumb, childish affairs with grown adults talking like they've had half their brains scooped out. You know what I mean.
Oh, and the drama. You know everyone makes sure to go use the restroom before the drama starts so they can see it? Everyone was in their seat, waiting to see the action. Alas, it only consisted of about ten people dressed in "middle east colors" with towels on their heads, standing around, waving their arms about wildly, miming the over-acted vocals we all know and hate. No action. Oh, except for this really lame part. There was this grey, square contraption that was supposed to resemble a stone altar with a golden calf on top of it. Well, there was this part where the prophet Jedikimiliziah whithered Jereboam's hand and the altar split in half. There was some kind of electric mechanism inside that triggered, and the thing moved so that it looked like it came apart. Except it had wheels on the bottom so it just looked obscenely lame. People actually laughed. I enjoyed looking around at the kids, because you know how excited they get at the drama. Well, they were yawning and fidgeting about 2 minutes into it.
As far as ALL the content, every single talk (and the drama) was just about how we should be preaching like there's no tomorrow, literally, and not doing anything else. About half a day was spent reiterating how we should submit to the elders and wives should submit to their husbands. The CO actually said "they've liberated women to the point that they don't know what to do anymore" whereupon my mouth was left gaping and I looked around in vain for similar expressions of aghast.
So that was it. I survived, although I feel beat to a pulp. I found ways to amuse myself, like singing obscene words when my wife was gone to the bathroom, seeing if anyone heard me. Also, walking endlessly around the corridors, reading the plaques about old athletic dead people, and watching the bafoon attendants get excited about anything they could get excited about. I almost wish I was still in "good standing" so I could have been doing something and not have to listen to the drivel in my seat.
Convention Report - Deliverance At Hand?
by daniel-p 52 Replies latest jw friends
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daniel-p
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What-A-Coincidence
damn DP... that was post 666. how appropriate
Post 666 6 Letters in Daniel posted in the year 2006
dude. you are not daniel you are "mark" -
zagor
LMAO
agree 666 was quite appropriate -
zagor
I almost wish I was still in "good standing" so I could have been doing something and not have to listen to the drivel in my seat.
I'm pretty sure that if suddenly they've worked out a way of not needing most of those otherwise boring jobs at ass-emblies and congregations many more people would be sooner out, this way there is something to keep them occupied.
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OpenFireGlass
The CO actually said "they've liberated women to the point that they don't know what to do anymore"
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misspeaches
urgh. you poor thing daniel. Did you feel at all inclined to rebel against the attendants. like walking around during the session or not going to your seat when told to after lunch?
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Black Sheep
I have a copy of a note pad designed specifically for this arsembly. Just reading through the subjects for the talks etc. is enough to make my laugh/puke.
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Black Sheep
I have been reading The Finished Mystery from 1917. It too says "...the hour of deliverance is at hand."
Something else I discovered was that it says that they became the sole channel of communication between 1878 & 1881. It doesn't use the phrase (sole channel of communication) as it hadn't been coined then, but the inference is explicit.
It reads like it is the last publication the WT is ever going to need to produce.
Shame it wasn't.
My commiserations to all that attend this arsembly.
Chris
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daniel-p
"Did you feel at all inclined to rebel against the attendants. like walking around during the session or not going to your seat when told to after lunch?"
A little bit. Heh, one thing in particular that gave me the giggles, was to go in the bathroom stall, and when something particulary rousing was said by the speaker and came through the speakers above the stalls, I would say "praise Jehoover!" in a old man's voice. I thought I heard some guffaws a couple of times.
About the 666 thing... heheh, yes it was most apropriate - especially since I didn't even give it a second thought! Now, if I was still a good JW, I would be all worried and paranoid that Satanus was out to get me. I wished I had that golden calf so I could entreat the "other" gods to "deliver" me from this god-awful convention. Seriously though, this was the worst convention ever, even if I used "full-of-faith" standards. Every single goddamn talk was on how we should be doing more and more - every "interview" was from some 78 year-old person who is practically incapacitated from illness yet still manages to put in 120 hours a month. -
katiekitten
URGHHHH it brought it all back to me, and I havent had to sit through one of those things for at least 8 years.
I used to get so excited when the drama came on (when I was a kid) but eventually it dawned on me that the people in the drama spoke exactly like every cartoon on telly - i.e. American accents. When i was a kid TV was so totally synonymous with american accents I didnt even know it wasnt an accent from the UK.
Anywho, once I realised that I hated the dramas. Hard northern English men wearing tea towels on their heads saying things like "Randy, im so happified you young folks have become joyous in the service of jehovah". I spent the whole time gritting my teeth and saying WE DONT SPEAK LIKE THAT. I thought - cheapskates how hard would it be to record it in an English voice, or are we really an American religion.
Pathetic little gripe really, but it did irritate me.