What to do - my heart is broken - I feel like a hollow shell ....

by muslima 37 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Narkissos

  Salaam muslima

  I am so sorry for what you're going through.

  Two words in your post make room for hope though: in tears. Obviously your son loves you as you are in spite of Watchtower mind control. True he acted rude objectively, but you know the context only too well.

  Be true to yourself. If you are satisfied with your current life and faith you have no reason to conform and pretend. Let him know you're there for him whatever his choices. In time it may make a big difference in his life.

  I wish you the very best.
• 

  AuldSoul

  You have to be true to yourself.

  muslima,

  The problem, I know, is that you aren't so certain who yourself is. That is plain from your posts. I hurt for the internal struggles you must be going through, but ultimately, you will either disappear behind the veil of someone else's expectations for you, or you will assert your true self.

  Love does not determine who you must live with, love is what it is. Do you love no one else, other than your husband? It sounds like your husband may be trying to force you to a decision point, rather than threatening you with the marriage. He may simply be stating what his choices will be as a result of various possible choices you may make. But, whatever he is doing, there is no reason to choose between the love of your husband and the love of your son. You don't have to make that choice.

  You ultimately have to make one choice, and only one. Will I be myself, or will I be a person someone else wants me to be? After you make that choice, really make that choice, the rest eventually falls into place on its on.

  Just don't be shocked if you choose the latter only to find yourself constantly frustrated and feeling trapped or coerced. On those occasions, you can remind yourself of what you chose and either find contentment in the fact that you banished yourself by choice or choose again. I could not make the choice to banish myself, but I don't think less of others wwho choose differently.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  Carmel

  Hey! Piss off everybody! Become a Baha'i!

  carm
• 

  unclebruce

  Hey! Piss off everybody! Become a Baha'i!

  carm

  I am already a Baha'i (only Baha'i in the BegaValley and especially behai' on my building projects so I'll be piss'n off for sure. thanks for the 'timely reminder' caveman
• 

  muslima

  Once again allow me to reinterate how much it touched my heart that so many of you took the time to reply.

  For those of you that wonder why the heck I would go from the pot to the frying pan so to speak - If one takes the time to read the Quran - you can tell that the source is the same. Just like Mark Twain has a style of writing, so does God. And just like the Bible is taken out of context - so is the Quran. I do not subscribe to the mainstream sects of Islam, namely Sunni or Shia...nor do I blindly follow along with all the so called religions stuff that is just Arabic culture, but rather a much smaller group of totally sincerely people who learn their Islam (submission) straight from the Quran - not by following the Hadith - or all the stories written about how Muhammed did this or that. For those of you interested in a bit more education on that topic, I include a couple of links.

  http://www.masjidtucson.org/

  http://www.geocities.com/forpeoplewhothink/

  I am still numb from this experience. I have cried so much. How do you reason with a person who says, "Well it doesn't really matter if it is the truth or not - If it is -- great! If not, well it didn't hurt any to be sheltered from all the bad stuff out there. That's the way I see it." (quoting my son)
• 

  jgnat

  ...then by implication he says you are part of the 'bad stuff'. I'd tell him the WORST thing you ever experienced was that day on the couch with him weeping. Tell him he'd be much HAPPIER loving you truthfully at the local park, watching you play with your grandchildren. And he doesn't have to wait to PARADISE, or 65, whichever comes first.
• 

  LoverOfTruth

  I'm in a similar situation except I am a Christian. (At least I try to be) None of us know all the Answers. I believe we are all Children of God, no matter what faith we profess.

  As a parent, we love our children unconditionally. I believe our Heavenly Father is like that in even a Greater Sense.

  He Loves Our Children even more than we can realize ane he is in Control. With that said, I am able to leave my precious oldest son Thomas in his care. It does get easier with time.
• 

  penny2

  If not, well it didn't hurt any to be sheltered from all the bad stuff out there

  Has it crossed his mind that it may not be the truth? Don't lose heart Muslima - he cried, so there's hope! We're thinking of you.

  penny2
• 

  Narkissos

  Well it doesn't really matter if it is the truth or not - If it is -- great! If not, well it didn't hurt any to be sheltered from all the bad stuff out there. That's the way I see it.

  A candid dub-sub-version of Pascal's wager?

  Well, it does hurt, here and now, both you and him. He just cannot admit it to himself... yet.

  Keep trusting.
• 

  katiekitten

  Well its clear that the only way you are going to live in peace with your son is if you become a Jehovahs Witness again.

  Being married, being a moslem, all that is irrelevant to him. He has ONE condition for reconciliation. If you know you cant do it, then the sad truth is your son is able to cast you out of his heart and his family.

  The moslem thing, and the loving your husband thing seems to be an aside really in terms of getting your son back.

  You cant choose a religion based on which family members you get to keep by the choice. You cold equally as well say to them all "I have become Fulan Gong and anyone who doesnt convert will get cut off by me forever". Lets see if your husband or your son felt the same sort of obligation to make you happy and keep you in their lives, and fall over themselves to convert?

  The sad truth is men (in general) are much more easily able to bully and control women, and much less susceptible to control by women, because it doesnt hurt them as much to cut us off (I do speak in VERY general here, please dont all tell me your 'sensitive man' stories).