I've having a hard time dealing with the present time in my life (page 2)

cruzanheart

Definitely a trip to the doctor first. Then take a look at your social life. No, I don't mean how many babes you've bagged lately! What do you do for fun? Do you go dancing, to the movies, out to dinner? Sometimes we all, irregardless of age, get caught in a rut of working and being home and lose touch with our support groups or stop cultivating new people. My therapist told me that one of the reasons JWs have a hard time emotionally when they leave the religion is because they are forced to make the organization and ONLY the organization their support group. We need lots of support groups so when one poops out on us we have another one to turn to.

I went to a party last Sunday that was a combination anniversary party for my friends and 80th birthday party for Greg's mother, and it was a blast! About 2/3 of the group were friends of Donna's (the 80-year-old), and they spent most of the evening dancing (there was a band). I had one gentleman ask me to dance -- he looked like he was in his late 60's and quite the flirt -- and he was a great dancer. These people obviously get out and DO things and you can see the enjoyment of life radiating from them.

Learn from the past but don't live in it.

Hugs,
Nina

Undecided

Thanks for the suggestions. I just got my yearly check up last week. I didn't mention my blues though. Everything else was OK, except my blood pressure was close to high and I have been checking it lately. It's borderline I think.

Usually about 145 over 78.

I think I just need to chill out and forget my age.

Ken P.

cruzanheart

Forget your age? Well, it ain't easy!!! When I turned 50, I swear I developed new aches and pains overnight. I know a lot more, though: I know that I can't ride the fast rides at the amusement park because it might blow out one of the three bulging discs in my neck. (Actually, I don't mind that because I never did like them anyway and now I have an excuse to sit it out.) I know if I sleep on my stomach it will take a tow truck to turn me over. If I sit cross-legged on the floor there's an excellent chance that I'll have to stay that way until someone comes and helps me up. I could go on, but I won't . . .

So I'm learning news ways to do the things I like to do, really good reasons to avoid the things I don't like to do, and life is still pretty good!

Nina

Sirona

Good suggestions to see the doc for a chat, but

Perhaps just changing things a little in just small ways might help? Do you do anything creative? Sometimes that helps to "get out" the feelings / thoughts that may be building up.

hugs.

Sirona

Undecided

I feel better already, just thinking positive has helped and realizing I'm so lucky to have a good wife and be so free of physical problems. I also took a little walk. I think I will be OK. Thanks for all the good responses to my post. I'll keep you up to date on my progress. I think I will go fly my R/C airplane tomorrow with my brother.

Ken P.

juni

Dearest Ken,

I'll share a little saying that my counselor gave me -

"Look forward and be hopeful,

Look backward and be thankful,

Look downward and be helpful,

Look upward and be humble."

If you start experiencing what you described again, I would make another appt. w/my dr. and talk with him. Sounds like you have a nice day planned w/your brother flying remote control planes.

Often times we zero in on the negative from the past. When I do that I switch gears so to speak and think of the good things of the past that happened. Then I think of all of the present things I am thankful for - and I know you love your grandkids. And what a blessing to have a loving wife. I'm 57 and it seems as you age it hits you between the eyes that our lifetime is very short. Memory is a real bummer; I say I have leaky brain cells. It makes it easier to accept this natural process by laughing at myself.

You take care of yourself and know that you are not alone in dealing w/aging.

Your friend,

Juni

Synergy

I'm going through the same thing now. I'm on day two of medicine and I can't wait for it to kick in! I have found happieness outside of the cult but sometimes the memories and missing family is too much to bear. I have found a wonderful new family in my new life with my church but it's still not the same as your own flesh and blood. And my own flesh and blood wishing I were dead. So all I can offer are words of empathy. I know where you are and how you feel now. See a doctor and get happy because after a whole life of crap we deserve to be happy every day from now on! Good Luck!

Renee

John Doe

I think I will go fly my R/C airplane tomorrow with my brother.

Wow!! Believe it or not, I was just about to suggest that you look into radio control. I can't really explain why, but I had a feeling from your post that you are the type of person who would like r/c planes. ;-) Rex

Undecided

I've been flying R/C planes for 40 years now. I used to go to alot of contest for pattern flying and have several trophies but don't go anymore. I still enjoy my flying and my brother has started flying battery powered ones. I also sailed R/C boats for several years and have several trophies for that too. Now that I have time to play it doesn't seem as much fun as when I worked. Good night y'all.

Ken P.

AudeSapere

Undecided wrote: Now that I have time to play it doesn't seem as much fun as when I worked.

Did you retire recently??

I used to work for a Prosthodontist (for about 7 years). Most of our patients were over 60 and were getting their teeth done either just prior to, or just after retiring. It's a difficult transition. The first 6-9 months or so were fun and then they would often slip into a funk. I found it to be very, very common.

It's been a few years but I'm trying to remember what helped. Seems to me that it was different for everyone (like most things). Some went on antidepresants for a few months. Others put together a routine that included golf or tennis several times a week, little part-time job or volunteer activity, an afternoon with grandchildren and/or pets, bridge or backgammon or bowling leagues. Something social and regular. Little bit of excercise with other 'less strenous' social activities. Around here there are lots and lots of seniors clubs and seniors centers. Many have a great variety of activities and programs.

Wonder if you have a hobby or something to share with an elementary school near you? Classrooms sometimes have special guests show off some unique hobby or something to the kids.

My grandmother was a 'class grandmother' for several years and she really loved it. She would spend time in a classroom helping the teacher grade papers and such but also spent one-on-one time in the back corner with kids who needed help reading or some just needed some extra attention or someone to talk to.

Wonder if there is a local resource center. Course, maybe you have other ideas to help you overcome the blues...

Has the weather been overcast lately?? We had some pretty serious 'May Gray' here and are looking out for 'June Gloom' - very heavy marine layer that blocks the sun. Many people get a little depressed when they don't get sunshine.

Just a few thoughts. I hope your days get a little sunnier for you.

-Denise.

I've having a hard time dealing with the present time in my life

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