Dad tries to comfort me with the Resurrection hope

LyinEyes

My son Jake graduated from High School a couple of weeks ago and my Dad sent him a nice sum of grad money, as a gift and to tell him how proud he was of him. Also in the card was to remind of his upbringing as a JW and that in time he hopes he embraces it again.

When Ginger died he came to the funeral and we started talking again , after 3 years of silence. He told me that he would be there for me and that we would stay in touch, he lives 5 hours from me. He has kept that promise and calls quiet often. I bascially told him as we were standing over my Sister that I didnt know what to believe anymore, in Heaven , or just what will happen to this world.

He took it as good and told me he understands I have been hurt, and he took some responsibility for my pain over the years. We talked alot and he told me things I wish he would have told me 20 years ago. Actually some of the things he told me were very serious , and I told him things and together we put something together about someone who might have abused me when I was little. He was so hurt and angry and said if he had known he would have killed this person. My Mother knew but I never knew she didnt tell him.

Now when we talk he tells me about all he is doing in the congregation, the new mags, etc. etc. He even broke my heart when he told me......." I know you....... I know you had the strong faith , you brought me back in when I was d/a and because of you and I back, and I know......I KNOW , that you will find your way back".

Well, the way that I am , when my Daddy says things like that it tears me up. I have always wanted to make him proud of me.

I know he is sincere in wanting to help me, he wants me to have the hope of the resurrection as he does. Sometimes I wish I could beleive that again, but I can't lie to myself. Now I know alot on this board have found other religions and other beliefs,,,,,,,but so far I havent.

I just think you die and that is it. At least for right now , that is how I believe, and I am ok with that.

It is just hard to see him finally trying to be in my life , and I truly believe he believes and it hurts him to see me as a lost sheep. It makes it hard to talk to him , knowing that he wants so much for me to be comforted . Sometimes I don't tell him how bad I am hurting so he doesnt try so hard to comfort me with "the truth".

The weird thing is ........at this time, I wish I believed . Life is so unfair, so bitter sometimes, it seems it would be better to live in a fanatsy world . Then I come back to reality and thank goodness for the life I have now of freedom. Now I just have a little hope that there just might be something on the other side of this life and Ginger, Mama and me will meet again.

under_believer

The weird thing is ........at this time, I wish I believed .

I know exactly what you mean. There was a brief period of time when I prayed to God to make me dumber, so that I could just accept everything without questioning it.
How contradictory and ridiculous that was didn't occur to me until later.

FlyingHighNow

Dede, so wonderful to see you, though you still sound sad about Ginger, I'm still happy to see you posting.

I'll tell you what has helped me far more than any religion or religious book to overcome doubt about and fear of death. I got it from my local library, but you can order it from Amazon.com

Closer To The Light by Melvin Morse, M.D. This book is about the near death eperiences of children and predeath experiences and visions that doctors have documented and studied. It's one of the best gifts you can give yourself. This book has comforted a lot of dying people as well as the bereaved.

Narkissos

((((((Dede))))))

It's a good thing that your father is closer again but this is really heartbreaking. The "resurrection" thing plays on very sensitive emotional strings. My wife told me that one of her rare contacts with JWs were just after her father died (she was only 23) and their "resurrection" talk really shocked her.

I'm afraid if there is any hereafter we just have no words for it. What I do believe is that whoever was really a part of our life will be part of it forever.

Take care of yourself. It is good to see you posting.

just2sheep

lyineyes,

your story is so sad and not that different for ours. when our daughter died the only thing that saved my wife was the hope of seeing her again. there isn't anything in the world that would make me happier than for that to be true. i would never do anything to destroy that hope. it is sad that when we leave the org we feel we must abandon even those things that give us comfort. some people believe their loved ones come back as dogs, cats, etc. i think this is silly but i would never want to rob them of their hope. grief is such a profoundly personal thing, and we deal with it the best we can. i do hope you are reunited with your loved ones.

gumby

Dede....so nice to hear from you....yet your post was very touching.

My mom is 81. She also talks the dub hope to me...telling me how much we need the New System, how Satan has made the world so awful, how hard it is to hang on till Jehovah makes things right. I too wish many of her hopes were true....but I cannot lie to myself either.

Ya know what though? I decided awhile back that I would not defy the witness talk she says to me. Why should I? She's 81 fer gods sake and I ain't about to spoil her false hopes at this point. If her beliefs are what makes her just a tad happy and content....then I want her to stay that way till she dies.

Your daddy means well and loves you to death and wants the best for you. Perhaps it's best to let him comfort you the best way he knows how I suppose.....but often it's hard for us to keep quiet on these matters.

And...your right, you might see your loved ones again...who knows what's on the "other side"? I for one hope there is life beyond life....but noone really knows for sure.

So nice to hear from you...and tell Denny hi for me.

Hey, you found any black hairs in your eggs lately?

Gumhugs

Mary

Dede said: I know he is sincere in wanting to help me, he wants me to have the hope of the resurrection as he does. Sometimes I wish I could beleive that again, but I can't lie to myself. Now I know alot on this board have found other religions and other beliefs....

Dede, I felt the tears well up in me when I read your post.......I'm glad that you and your dad have got your relationship on track because there's many on here who have lost their family members to this damn religion forever.......Let your dad believe in whatever gives him comfort. I do the same thing with my parents. To them, this religion is their only hope of ever seeing their children (my siblings) that went long before they should have, and I won't take that away from them. At this point in their lives, I think that would do more harm than good. And who knows what's beyond this life? Personally, I believe we do have a soul that goes on. When I was visiting with my dad after he had the stroke, he said something that stunned me. He said he remembers seeing "what looked sort of like angels" around his bed while he was in the room getting the clot busting drug. I thought this was quite remarkable and wonder if he was having a near death experience......I never said that to him though. Being a Witness, that might scare the hell out of him.

We don't know how much longer our parents will be around. Contrary to what we were taught, I'm pretty sure we're going to have to watch them grow old and die. So we should always make now the most important time with our family and friends.

Sunnygal41

Deedee..........I can hardly write this because I was overwhelmed by the deep longing in your post............sweetie.........I know, life isn't fair and I wish my daddy had been in MY life, too, when I was a girl.........I can count on one hand how many good, normal, memories I have of him.....the rest are of an ugly monster who beat my mom and tried to beat us girls..........

Ter

heathen

Perhaps you can show him the facts on what the org. is really about . There is nothing wrong with believing in God even tho you are not a dubby . I believe in God but also don't believe most religions so kinda puts me in a bind because if there is a God there should be people that do know what it's all about at this point in history . Anyway I feel it's the only hope of mankind to believe that jesus was real .

Gill

The only fact that we have about the dead, is that we do not know where they are or what will happen to us.

That means, there is hope, not that there is no hope.

If you believe as the JWs, the only thing you believe is that the dead are dead, and maybe they will be resurrected and maybe they will live forever and maybe they will stay faithful to the WTBTS and not have to be put down and maybe.....

It's better now to know. We have hope. We have hope and not fear of a cold, cold grave as the JWs do.

I've often said that my Aunt would have been better off dying as a Catholic. She would not have been overcome with anxiety of what was about to happen to her. She would have believed that she was about to see my uncle again and be together with him in heaven. Instead, she was terrified of that cold dark nowhere.

Have hope! It's not over till the fat lady sings!

So sorry for your loss but why go back into the dark teachings of the WTBTS!

The road ahead is open and a mystery.

Dad tries to comfort me with the Resurrection hope

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