Should I make a stink about this or not? (page 3)

unclebruce

I'm with gumby and Jesus. Have a private chat to the woman

I once threatened to sue a fellow JW for defamation and that put the rumour mill in reverse quicker than pluck a duck

best wishes, unc

Mary

What I'd like to do is write her a note (a real one, not work email), saying something along the lines of "slander in the workplace" "first and last warning before legal action can and will be taken" as well as re-emphasizing that I am indeed DA, not DF and a short synopsis of WHY I DA.

Absolutely I would. Either that, or I would tell her face to face. I guarantee that she'll either back down or look for another job. Either way, she looks like a fool tattling that you "committed fornication" as most worldly people don't give a damn and some people still don't even know what the term "fornication" means.

What an idiot!!

Scully

If you're going to have issues with this person, it's best to start documenting things and give your manager a heads-up about this ASAP.

Of course, you have to be assertive too and (1) let her know that her malicious gossip about you has gotten back to you (meaning that your friends are letting you know that she's badmouthing you behind your back and aren't going to protect her when she back stabs you); (2) inform her that you left the JWs VOLUNTARILY, for reasons that are none of her EFFING business, that any judicial business that occurred within the context of the JWs is CONFIDENTIAL because it falls under the realm of ecclesiastical privilege. Then ask her if she wants this kind of thing documented on her permanent record with your employer, because you will take it to HR and then threaten to sue her ass for defamation of character, along with the elders who are supposed to keep your judicial business with them CONFIDENTIAL.

Promise her that if anything of that sort happens again, there will be hell to pay. Scare the living $h!t out of her. She feels so morally superior to you, but she needs to get off her high horse and realize that in a professional setting, nobody gives a crap about whether you "fornicated" or not, and that it is highly inappropriate and unprofessional to smear your reputation as a professional in a professional setting the way she has.

Honestly, I think if you let her get away with this incident, you'll be setting yourself up for more of the same in the future. You need to stop her dead in her tracks and give her a good healthy reality check so she knows not to mess with you.

fullofdoubtnow

I would go with letting it lie, for now anyway. She isn't worth the trouble, none of them are.

Kaput

I'm with Scully.

atypical

I'm with Scully, also. I think sometimes you have to let jws like this know that the rules are different in the real world, and their control tactics have no place outside their little domain, which is the kingdom hall. In the real world, you cannot get away with affecting the workplace with extreme relgious views, especially when your views cause conflict and strife. This takes away from productivity, which employers do not appreciate. Although I admire Jesus' advice about handling things person to person, I think in this case it is important to let your superiors know that your first desire is to keep any negative personal garbage from detracting from the work at hand. Don't let her pull you into a dramatic scenario that will make you both look bad. Nip it in the bud by immediately going over her head and then move on.

Just what I think. Good luck.

Lady Lee

Yeah Scully.

Honestly, I think if you let her get away with this incident, you'll be setting yourself up for more of the same in the future. You need to stop her dead in her tracks and give her a good healthy reality check so she knows not to mess with you.

I've been thinking on this all day and, you know, pretending it didn't happen just invites more of the same.

She needs to be told in a polite but assertive way that you will not tolerate it. The only reason I say polite is because you work there too and there is no reason to stoop to the JW level of thinking.

JWs are taught to do their dirty work quietly so they can keep their clean image. Don't let it start. And for your co-workers who will stand up for you

loosie

pretending it didn't happen just invites more of the same.

I agree with Scully and Lady Lee. You should say something to her let her know htis won't be tolerated.

I remember a WT article that said your silence is just the same as going along with it. The article was in regards to sexual harrasment at work.

greendawn

I don't think you should take them too seriously though it's an opportunity to give some enlightment on the JWs and their errors. Non JWs don't give a fig about what is known as fornication, and JW related values and behaviour patterns should be meaningless to you.

itsallgoodnow

I think by arguing with her about any of the details of what she's heard, you are giving them permission to approach you about your religious status at work, and you're giving her permission to go right ahead and please, take the upper hand. The message she will get is that her approach is ok and she can always have the upper hand with you, but she just has the details wrong in this one instance.

If it was me, I would wait until the witness approaches me with something I feel uncomfortable with, and in front of her, write down her question, ask her "what time is it right now? what's the date?". This will send a clear message that not only can she not approach you in this way, she might need to be concerned about crossing the line at work with laws against harrassment. I don't know the situation, but that's what I would do.

Good luck to you!

Should I make a stink about this or not?

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