by Cady 21 Replies latest jw friends
My biggest problem now is thinking too much about life and it's reason for being. How did it all begin, why? How does the universe work, not that it will effect me and my life since I'm stuck on my little part of it. I need to only think about my life now and how I can work it out to enjoy what's left of it. I'm having a hard time doing this.
Ken P.
The greatest evil is the unfocusing of your own mind by relying on the opinion of others. It is a moral blindness and derelection of self. Your number one purpose is to discover what is true about the universe with your own eyes, ears and determined analysis of how things work by testing them against what works. The opinions and wishes of others are irrelevent. A pretty story does not a truth make.Terry, But we have to rely on others. We can't very well test and examine each and every supposition on which we build out lives. (Btw, sorry still red text, I can't seem to change it...) I'm in science for a living now, and that requires a great deal of trust in the ppl who came before. Everytime you take a medication you're trusting the research that went into it. Everytime you believe something somebody says about anything (friends, colleagues, etc) you're trusting someone other than yourself to tell you something about the world. I guess for me the problem seems to be that I know I have to trust ppl in some things, but that core deception that we suffered as JWs makes trust a really hard thing to manage. And I don't think I'm going to be whole again until I can trust. Cady
Cab -
Thanks for the kind words. I've sometimes wondered if it was the JWs that left me with the spectator view or if it was b/c I felt so old watching the crap happening at home and trying to keep my family in one piece. Not that it makes a difference I suppose.
c.
Much of what the JWs say is resisted by that intuitive way of perceiving things but somehow it fails to work enough and the JW myths take the upper hand. Eg the FDS is God's only channel but how can they be when they have an abysmal record when it comes to producing sound doctrine and when predicting things?
How can the dubs be God's people when they grossly lack fraternal love? OK they don't harm each other as much as non JWs but still they don't help each other out when need arises.
The world is what you make of it, in this sense it can't be intrinsically bad? If you want to do well in it you can without playing foul.
Terry,
But we have to rely on others. We can't very well test and examine each and every supposition on which we build out lives. (Btw, sorry still red text, I can't seem to change it...) I'm in science for a living now, and that requires a great deal of trust in the ppl who came before. Everytime you take a medication you're trusting the research that went into it. Everytime you believe something somebody says about anything (friends, colleagues, etc) you're trusting someone other than yourself to tell you something about the world. I guess for me the problem seems to be that I know I have to trust ppl in some things, but that core deception that we suffered as JWs makes trust a really hard thing to manage. And I don't think I'm going to be whole again until I can trust.
Cady
If you look at a pizza you could say "It is impossible to eat that; I can't get it in my mouth."
You'd be right. However, if you take one bite at a time the whole pizza will eventually be gone.
It is the same with anything. Taken as a whole nothing is comprehensible. But, one step at a time we can chisel away at that block of granite and eventually end up with Michaelangelo's DAVID. That is how it is done.
It is absolutely necessary you examine your presuppositions.
Trusting people and relying on people is the issue you are raising as rebuttal.
When you are a child you cannot but rely and trust in your caregivers whether they are competant or not.
They may tell you things they believe are true. They may inadvertantly fill your mind with superstitious nonsense. You can't do much about it, can you? No. But, one good thing about reality is this: when it comes crashing down on a belief-system the contradictions become apparent. What you do when you discover a contradiction is STOP and examine the false premise.
There are no and cannot be CONTRADICTIONS in anything which is true. The very second you discover a contradiction you are facing a false premise that must be corrected.
Surely you can see that this is something viable. You can do that; you can stop and question the false premise.
Santa Claus exists? Why do I see so many of them? How does one guy fit in so many chimneys on the same night? ?Contradictions?
The Bible is God's word? Why do so many sincere people find different meanings in the same book? Why the contradictions?
You get the idea. At least stop and ask yourself how contradictions can be resolved.
That takes a devotion to non-contradictory information. It takes a desire and a rational inclination.
Trust without proof shipwrecks people every day.
Trust isn't magic; it is based on information. Information must have facts. Facts must be transparent and not mere opinion or assertion. RESEARCH makes SIENCE reliable. Why? The Scientific Method makes information FALSIFIABLE. No Theory is accepted that is not falsifiable.
Make your trust in people subject to being proved false. Use the scientific method. Make predictions and see if they conform to your information.
Medicine is only medicine if it treats the illness and does more good than harm. It doesn't matter what a doctor or drug company says; the test of falsifiability is the actual consequence of administering it.
So too with everything you trust and believe. IT HAS TO WORK OR IT IS FALSE!
Cady: Your post really got to my heart and I feel for you. If I could take your pain away, I would, as would anyone on this board. The problem is, in the Hall, you have to watch what you do and say. When you leave the Hall, you have to watch what you do and say. Life in the Org. creates a life with constant inner conflict and is not natural. The only thing I can say is keep coming back when you need it. We understand.
Blues Bro.: You are so right about private opinions.
Luna2: What were you thinking? The same thing most of us were. Paradise................any day now.
Cabin: I also feel like a spectator......observing the WTS and "the world", because I'm stuck in-between both.
Terry: I don't know if I can start over, as long as I have relatives in the Org. It would be a lot easier if I didn't, but that is the situation.
Thanks All, Warlock
What gets me even more is that I don't trust myself. We were constantly told "this is reality" when our senses and our intuition clearly said "no it's not." But of course we listed to what we were told, and learned not to listen to ourselves.
Yeah, I stll believed armagedon was coming... Then 2000 past, and I got over it
And other things about the JWs that's not the sensationalized stuff but are very real - child abuse that isn't sexual. Children in the organization still have nowhere to go, no one to turn to. They've been taught not to trust outsiders, and to keep appearances up in the hall they can't tell anyone there either. You don't want anyone to know your dad did "x" b/c he might lose his position as an elder and then you'd get in trouble. There's no safety for kids.
Yeah, I was in-and-out of my hose between 14-16, and finally left for good at 17...
Then there's trying to figure life out outside of the JWs, trying to figure out the world of dating/college/etc - all the things you're not taught about, and so kind of trip and fall and stumble your way through.
Yeah, I'm luck I'm not dead...
And then I just get so incredibly pi**ed and that anger doesn't seem to do any good, just makes me edgy and irritable. And it's not a common thing anymore - I've been out for four years and I'm hardly on the board anymore, but I find when things get rough I come back here for some warm words and commiseration.YEAH, I was out 10 years before I found boards like this on the internet...
What gets me even more is that I don't trust myself. We were constantly told "this is reality" when our senses and our intuition clearly said "no it's not." But of course we listed to what we were told, and learned not to listen to ourselves.
Have you ever felt that other people "got it" when you were a thousand miles away from getting it? It literally took me many years after leaving the JWs to fully understand what this even means; "TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE"
As you free yourself from the chains and clutches of the Borg, it will all become clearer.
Life is beautiful and can become as simple as we make it.
Cady,
Your post is so sad but true.
This religion knows how to knock people's feet out from under them and they think they are the only ones we can hold on to to keep our life straight.
I am a lot older than you, but I agree that leaving the org really bashes your personal confidence. Just keep fighting for the right to be yourself.
I wish I could say something that would really help, but I can't. Struggling myself.
Brant
Welcome L ittle Mill Creek!
