New Here Sorta (page 3)

unique1

WELCOME!!! Can't wait to hear the rest of your story.

Jolinar

Thanks everyone. I just got off the phone with my mom and .... does anyone find it hard to talk with their mom if they are a JW and you are a former?

OpenFireGlass

does anyone find it hard to talk with their mom if they are a JW and you are a former?

(Raises Hand)

sinamongurl

I thought I'd throw myself out there and introduce myself and see if I can resolve some things or possibly even help others do the same.

welcome and definitely keep sharing....i have found alot of healing here myself and im sure u can share some while finding some urself.....

Sin

I could not help but notice your statement earlier in this thread that you think you might be on the autism spectrum? I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a form of autism) in November & that, combined with the JW upbringing & other diagnoses (anxiety disorder, OCD, etc.), has made life pretty challenging.

I completely understand the difficulty in speaking with other family members who are still active JW's when you are not. My mother is still gung-ho, a regular pioneer, & to make it even more interesting--lives in the same apartment complex.

Once again welcome to the site. I am sure you will find plenty of support & encouragement here, even as I have.

DesertRat

sinamongurl

Thanks everyone. I just got off the phone with my mom and .... does anyone find it hard to talk with their mom if they are a JW and you are a former?

yes at first.....but shes mom and she will always love me....lol

Jolinar

Yes that definitely makes things challenging. You wouldn't believe what high school was like. I never ate because I had such bad nerves that I'd get sick if I tried. All I could do is maybe have a snack from the vending machine. My first year a good day in school was one where I only got sick 5 times a day. Having a cult and whatever disorder I have and have yet to determine (that one seems the closest yet with Asperger's but a friend ditched our friendship at the mere suggestion) what it is I just know something's up and that I've always had to pay earlier in life around the other kids for being so different. Mental (even though intelligent), JW, guess my sexuality, the list goes on. I feel I must unlock this piece of the puzzle though and it will help resolve the rest. My mom does say the same to me too that she'll always love me and still cares.

OpenFireGlass

hey jolinar,

are you saying that maybe your mom in in denal about something that happened in your childhood?

I've experienced that from my mom and my dad...my mom would always come down to,"well I don't remember" an my dad (while he was still alive) would straight up deny it, if I brought something up from my child hood

Mike

Jolinar

The earliest memory I can recall and one of the boldest ones from my childhood is all of a sudden out of nowhere I was standing there in my diaper next to a sizable box, a little taller than me, crying hard with my mom screaming in my face for no reason that I can understand at least. My dad worked at Big Bear Plus at the time, a grocery store, and brought home boxes from storage after doing stock all the time. Anyway, I was putting my toys in the box and my mom was throwing my stuff in there too. I think at least one thing also hit me and probably hurt me but I do remember carelessness on her part. The rest of my childhood before those moments feels like an entire blackout. Maybe I've also seen some things I shouldn't have or who knows what happened. Is that what you mean?

Is there an IRC Channel for this site or related?

OpenFireGlass

Have you straight up, asked your mom, and she don't remember?..

yeah for me there was a lot of physical abuse... mom used a spatula sideways once at 4-5 years old... and dad beat my ass so bad (cause I didn't sit still at an assembly) he kept me home from school, because I threatened to tell my teacher... straight, denied I ever got that beating

New Here Sorta

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