I agree you have a special mind that works differently than most. Your sentences run together a bit. You "sound" almost like a person with lung problems who has to get their whole message out with one whoosh. Also, you jump from one thought to another with few bridges to help the reader keep up. I don't say that to criticise, but to give you insight on how you might sound a little "different" than other people. I agree with the poster who suggested you might have something like Asberger's.
If I were you, I'd stop trying to self-medicate. Some drugs make it worse, others better. Some illnesses, like my son's Schizophrenia, are vastly improved with early intervention with the proper drugs. My son was not given his final diagnosis until last year, when he was 27 years old. By then, the illness had done some permanent damage to his personality. He is still delightful, though, in his own quirky way.
When you are able, it might help to find a good doctor that can help you come up with a diagnosis and get you on the right medication.