The memorial for my cousin, Sharon, who died of breast cancer on September 6, was yesterday. It was standing room only, and it was obvious how many people really loved her. I couldn't help but think of all the absent ones, who had been her lifelong friends, and how sad it was that they stayed away. It was their loss, and made it more comfortable for us. There were more people at Sharon's memorial (all family, fellow "heretics" and people she worked with) than there were the day before, at my stepfather's memorial. (I didn't go, but Princess told me about it)
Princess and Venice were there, and I'm sure they will post their thoughts and observations too.
The friend who gave the talk, wanted very much to vindicate Sharon, and to clear her name for all that the JW's had done to her, and to make it clear that she was a "child of God" and was loved by him. He had visited her many times, in the hospital, during the crises, and at home when she was in hospice care. He told her on one of those visits that no matter how her illness turns out, she had conquered. He said that too yesterday. He brought her great comfort.
Shortly after he had begun talking, he said that Sharon had been raised as part of a "movement" that encouraged its followers to examine their belief system, their religion, their philosophies of life. About five or six years ago, she realized she had never done that herself, although she had taught others to do it for most of her life. And for doing that examination, she was put out and cut off from all of her lifelong friends. At that point, there was a shuffling of chairs in the back, and we saw two people stomp out, loudly, a JW couple who had driven a long distance to be there, but evidently couldn't take "the heat". It's too bad, because he gave a good "witness" in Sharon's defense. Her mother and brother were sitting in front of me, and they were most uncomfortable. All I can say is "GOOD"!! They needed to be uncomfortable! Her daughters in law are also still dubs, but I haven't talked to them about it at all. They seemed fine, but I'm sure they were not happy about it.
After his talk, two of her sons did a fine job telling about their life with their mom and dad, especially Sean (who also posts here as SEAKEN2001.........occasionally) who talked about how angry he had been about the way his mother was treated. He wrote a verse that he read, about "where is love?". A couple of things he said was that "grandma said it was at the Kingdom Hall, but they didn't want me. I thought it would be at grandma's house, but it wasn't there either." His grandma gasped at that..........GOOD!! Finally he said "I get it now, it was with you all the time. You are love", meaning his mom. (it was a long verse, and he spent days composing it, but those were the highlights for me, at least)
I was last, and I talked about our life growing up together, and raising our kids together, and having grandchildren. I talked about how it was hard for Sharon to adapt to changes, because she was so scheduled in her life, but that she had made some huge changes in the past four years, and given a little more time, she could have really realized her potential and developed her gifts. I ended with the poem Tatiana posted on Friday. It described Sharon so well, because she was always so cautious, and afraid to do new things. I think she would have said this too:
"If I had my life to live over...
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time...
I'd relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would take more trips.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter next time.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies."
There was a reception afterwards at her half sister's home. I will tell about that another time. It had its VERY interesting moments too.
Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)