by moomanchu 32 Replies latest jw friends
cognitive dissident !!!!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!! That is so funny. I'm crying I'm laughing so much!
Sad thing is, I was always stupid enough to believe all that crap! I suppose, in a way, I'm laughing at myself! If only I'd had the guts and the knowledge to have realised all this back then! Wow! Just think of the fun I could have had if I was still a JW now and knew all this!! I suppose they would have DF'd me....but even that would have been fun!
I love this site! Thanks all of you! Great thread!
We had a CO who used to brag about the lying stories he made up for wordly people who he hoped would be so rude as to listen in on his conversation. He'd tell us how he and his wife would enact stupid little skits while "having a meal" (can I say how much I hate that phrase?) at a restaurant. He was proud of making shit up trying to entice the worldly folk within earshot to ask them questions. I would have wanted to walk past their table and accidently spill something on his perfect suit.
I remember when my old congregation had to change sunday meeting times to 3:30 pm. For decades, they had the KH to themselves and always had morning meetings, but with the influx of Spanish witnesses - 2 new congs had been formed. Suddenly, the Spanish brothers wanted to rotate meeting times (the gall of them!).
So anyway, one elder was complaining and the CO told him about some woman from the Congo who had to start out the night before and traverse 2 rivers, a jungle and several hostile miles just to get to a meeting. The elder replies:
"Yeah - but when she finally did get there - it was a morning meeting!"
Here's a particularly revolting one I heard a few years back.
So we're in the Congo, or some other suitably dismal African shithole. Missionary comes to a small town run by a witch doctor, or something. Convinces some young girl (like ~14 or whatever) to be a Witness. Young girl becomes a Witness and gets baptized against her father's wishes. Father decides to step up the "persecution." Tells daughter that for every meeting she goes to, he'll cut off one of her fingers. She goes to 9 meetings, gets 9 fingers cut off by her own father. Only has one finger left. Father finally gives up, eventually his daughter's forbearance and determination convince him to come into the truth!!! Now everyone is one big happy Witness family.
This one turned my stomach for obvious visceral reasons. It also beggars belief that the daughter would stick around with a psychopath that would cut off all her fingers, or that the Witnesses would want such a psychopath in their congregation.
Maybe that's just how they roll in the Congo.
It took me a LONG time to be able to leave my house during the hours I should have been at the meetings without thinking something bad was going to happen to me.
Sometimes, it still gets into my head on meeting days. So sad.
Warlock
She goes to 9 meetings, gets 9 fingers cut off by her own father.
Hey, she'll get them all back in the new system plus then she'll have her dad there too
well worth the sacrifice. Riiiiiiiiiiight
I wonder if these people are still doing this crazy sheet since the end hasn't shown up like WT promsed?
"Yeah - but when she finally did get there - it was a morning meeting!"
Aaaahahahahahahaha!! Excellent response!
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS:
Why the Kindumb Hells don't just put a huge pond at the front filled with alligators and pirhana fish, and the witlesses have to wade through it to get in.
All the other sheeps is equal ain't theys? Comme en Afrique, meme en Amerique.
HB
Underbeliever -
Replace "raped" for "cut off a finger" for every meeting, and the Father would prolly be going to meetings today, and humping his daughter, with the elders' blessing. (unless in a reporting state)
HB
I've been reading the articles blondie posted their great. You couldn't make this stuff up if you wanted to.
9
Meeting attendance helps train those who join in the mighty chorus of praise to Jehovah. (Compare Psalm 22:22.) Thus, in the southern part of Honduras, there is a congregation called El Jordán. What is so special about this small group? It is their faithful meeting attendance. Of the 19 publishers, 12 have to cross a wide river to attend the meetings each week. This is not a big problem in the dry season, since they can cross the river by using rocks as stepping-stones. However, during the rainy season, conditions change. What was once an unimposing stretch of water becomes a torrent washing away everything in its path. To surmount this obstacle, the brothers and sisters have to be good swimmers. Before crossing, they put their meeting clothes in a tina (metal tub) and then cover it with a plastic bag. The strongest swimmer uses the tina as a buoy and leads the group across. Safe on the other side, they dry themselves, get dressed, and arrive at the Kingdom Hall cheerful and sparkling clean!—Psalm 40:9.
