Are you embarrassed?

by desib77 50 Replies latest jw friends

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  Scully

  I used to be, and rarely talked about it among my colleagues. Once the ice was broken, however, I have never been treated badly by workmates for having been a JW. In fact, I'm sought out as a resource whenever we get a patient whose chart indicates that they are JW. I've even arranged for community support for patients who have been DFd and have no support network or family support due to being shunned. My personal goals this year included working with JW patients (I had an arrangement with my colleagues previously where I didn't work with JW patients - I was worried that I might lose my objectivity and say something that would cause problems for me professionally or personally).

  Over all, I would say that the results have been very positive. My friends know that I was "raised in" the JWs, and due to the tight information control, had no frame of reference other than what the WTS provided. They don't hold it against me, and they know that once I saw through the bullcrap, there was no turning back. They've been very supportive, and some have even made a point of including me in holiday stuff because they know the situation about my JW relatives shunning us. I couldn't have asked for better friends.
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  penny2

  I'm not embarrassed but I really have to trust someone before I'll share anything about my life. And that happens very rarely.

  penny2
• 

  lonelysheep

  The few people that say “that could never happen to me!” I find most annoying. And I do mention that many who at first said they would never follow this religion are the very ones who became fanatic JW’s.

  Yes...it happens to the best of us!
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  lilybird

  Yes it embarrasses me that I was a JW in my past, I rarely, if ever discuss it with anyone who would not know about my past.
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  Scully

  The few people that say “that could never happen to me!” I find most annoying. And I do mention that many who at first said they would never follow this religion are the very ones who became fanatic JW’s.

  The truth is, that none of us woke up one morning and said "Hey, I think I'll join a cult! I like the idea of having no choices in life. I like the idea of having my personality stripped away and replaced with a Stepford-ish Kingdom Smile. I like the idea of being manipulated and controlled by people who don't even know me."

  Becoming a JW is a process. JWs target people who are in a transitional period of life - they know that a death in the family, a new baby, a new job, a move to a new area where you don't know anyone, starting college or university, a divorce/relationship break-up, financial crisis, etc. makes people receptive to the bait they offer and vulnerable to being manipulated and controlled. Almost immediately in the study process they set you up to distrust things and people you once trusted. They teach you that God's name is "Jehovah" and that none of the other churches teach that because they are liars and can't be trusted. They teach you that the Devil doesn't want you to continue studying with them, and any opposition from friends and loved ones proves that they are controlled by the Devil. The fear-based existence, the paranoia about the Devil, starts very early in the "study" process, and it is the foundation for all the other manipulations that follow. When the student questions anything, they are told to wait and it will be covered in due time (once they are receptive to the JW mindset on the matter).

  The people who say "that could never happen to me" perhaps have been lucky enough to have never been exposed to the mind-control techniques that JWs and other cults use at a vulnerable time in their life. It's the people who are so confident that it could never happen to them, who think they are immune to being manipulated, that often end up being indoctrinated when they least expect it. Thirty-five years ago, my dad had the same attitude toward JWs - he only agreed to study with them to prove them wrong. Big mistake. He didn't have the information to refute their claims and didn't recognize the mind-control techniques at work. It wasn't long before he was a baptized JW.
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  MidwichCuckoo

  A toughie - how many are reminded by JW that, ''well, you USED to believe it''? But as quite the majority here were 'brought up' to believe, we accepted it as fact when children.

  I liken it to 'ridiculing' an adult - ''well, you USED to believe in Father Christmas''. What child doesn't when taught it?
• 

  Undecided

  Not at all. I'm happy with myself now. My family was respected in the community. Someone at a worldly funeral recently told me how much they appreciated something my dad did for them, if I remember correctly he stopped to help him fix his car one night when he was broke down on the road. That was over 50 years ago. Never had anyone mention my JW past except JWs.

  Ken P.
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  KW13

  I used to be, and rarely talked about it among my colleagues. Once the ice was broken, however, I have never been treated badly by workmates for having been a JW. In fact, I'm sought out as a resource whenever we get a patient whose chart indicates that they are JW. I've even arranged for community support for patients who have been DFd and have no support network or family support due to being shunned. My personal goals this year included working with JW patients (I had an arrangement with my colleagues previously where I didn't work with JW patients - I was worried that I might lose my objectivity and say something that would cause problems for me professionally or personally).

  thats really cool scully, if only more of you were there for other jw's
• 

  eiu2003

  Ok, i'll try this again since i lost what i had typed already.
  
  I think some embarassment is natural. Looking at the beliefs from an outside perspective does made it all seem unrealistic. However the Witnesses use several things to help persons ignore the fallacy of the beliefs. First, they use fear, especially fear of death and loss of loved ones. Second the hold out hope for the things people desire most. Third, they make people feel wanted and needed. All of these tactics allow people to put aside how outlandish some of the beliefs are. I was raised a Witness and it was only natural that for my child i would teach her what i felt was best for her. As any parent would. Parents can only pass on what they feel is best too their children.
  
  As for feeling embarrased for believing such things, no one that was raised as a JW was allowed any room for critical thinking, thus the opposition to high education in years past. SO don't be embarrased, be proud that you had the courage to break the ties and face all the questions and influences that come after such a break.
  
  The same is true for adults the are in need of support and turn to a group that makes them feel wanted/needed and provides hope.
  
  I am proud of you kid,
  
  Love Ya,
• 

  desib77

  Thanks E.....that means a lot......