by 5thGeneration 31 Replies latest jw friends
Drifting away is one thing. I'm curious if anyone has written a letter (not a disassociation letter) that simply told their friends and loved ones that you don't really believe a lot of it anymore and blah, blah, blah.
Or is it better to shut up and just never show up again.
Problem is my wife says if I want to leave that I have to fess up and tell people. OUCH!
If you want to keep your wife and if integrity is a big sticking point for her, I would say you should really buckle down and assess what is most important to you.
Fading leaves you always wary of potential impacts of discovery. If your wife doesn't seem to mind your declaring on the side of Disassociation that may be the easiest course in the long run. It was for me. There was finality and closure to that segment of my life, my wife doesn't wonder where I stand and those who decide to cut me off are asses (beasts of burden) for letting an organization bind them up in such a fashion.
But you have to weigh your personal circumstances and make your own decision. I know others for whom fading was the best possible option in their specific circumstance.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul
I wrote an email to people here saying why I was no longer attending. The result I made one girl throw up and the other has not spoken to me since. Though her mother did call mine to badger her about the situation.
It should be up to you what will happen if it's better to fade away then do that, otherwise it would be nice to write letters to as many as possible explaining why you no longer approve of the JWs.
At least that way you may help someone see the truth about the devious cult.
Greetings 5thgeneration
:Problem is my wife says if I want to leave that I have to fess up and tell people. OUCH!
Not her business. (IMO)
If you waste your time writing letters, "explaining" yourself. You'll be wasting your time. Dubs are brain dead to anything that opposes their brain- washed way of thinking. They will NOT want to hear it.
my 2 cents
Dismembered
Not her business. (IMO)
If you waste your time writing letters, "explaining" yourself. You'll be wasting your time. Dubs are brain dead to anything that opposes their brain- washed way of thinking. They will NOT want to hear it.
Yup, I'm with Dismembered. I faded, and they (witnesses) act as if I've diassociated anyways!
It works for me......best wishes, and welcome to the forum.
P.S. How does your wife feel about you leaving the "truth"?
Problem is my wife says if I want to leave that I have to fess up and tell people.
Wives say a lot of things. As to writing letters explaining that you no longer believe all the WTS teaches you would only be providing ammunition for your eventual DFing.
I wrote a letter to one friend when I left because I felt she would really take the time to listen to me, especially after she had let me know of some of her own personal doubts.
NOPE! she immediately put on the dub hat and gave me an ultimatum of time to talk to the elders about my doubts or she would "turn me in." (I am trying to fade because I have one grandmother that would probably literally die if I DF'ed or DA'ed.)
If you did write a letter like that explaining your reasons - and you sent it to numerous people - the elders very well could treat that like a DA letter.
tough choice. see if you can buy some time with your wife to be able to think it through. does she realize that HER life may be less stressful if you DON'T DA? It sounds like she is just mad and wants to punish you a bit.......
-freedomlover
Ask her why she thinks you have to reveal all. Talk some more.
If she thinks it's important to have a clean break, how about a short note to those you care about saying that due to serious concerns about the organization, you feel in good conscience you must leave, both for your safety and theirs. Say you still love Jehovah. Tell them you don't want to stumble them. And if they want details, they may come and ask you. Otherwise you will leave them in peace.
That way, you only spill your guts to the curious.
What is there not to believe? And when you do not believe what is taught, what do you have that is better? Come on, the faithlessness here. It is disgusting.
