Doubtful that letters will work - most likely they will backfire. But each has to work it out according to what he wants to accomplish with leaving.
I wanted to let my cousin and best friend know how I felt - he of course chose to ignore all reason and continues to shun me in spite of my having never Da'd.
I wanted to let a long time friend and elder in another state know my reasons - he of course chose to ignore all reason and continues to shun me in spite of my having never Da'd.
I wanted to let a former elder and my best friend in the local congregation know why I could no longer be a witness - he of course chose to ignore all reason and continued to shun me in spite of my having never Da'd, until his death a few weeks back.
One elder came to invite me to Memorial last year - I showed him the UN letter - he of course chose to ignore it, said it was contrived lies and continues to shun me in spite of my having never Da'd.
Now the elders think they want to DF me - but I, of course, choose to ignore all their reason and continue to shun them in spite of my having never Da'd. Let the frustration begin on that side of the room now. I could really care less now - Jehovah's witnesses are just another false religion among a world filled with false religions. I have UNchosen them. I refuse to cooperate with them in any way.
If and when it comes down to it - and it might - I will Da rather than be Df'd - the only reason being the way I will do it, will make some of the local witnesses know that I was keeping integrity when I left. I plan on sending out about 20 letters, each individual, to different members of the congregation. I will tell them that they are of special significance to me - would they please deliver my DA letter to the elders? In each one I will make a different point of reason for leaving, and I will make each one seem to be the only one. The following meeting will see each family in the hall going to the PO with a different DA letter from me, with a different reason for leaving. At least it might make a few stop and think. If not - k sera, sera. At least I would have tried.
My 2 cents.
Jeff