MEALS on "HEELS"

by Terry 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Terry
    Terry


    MEALS ON HEELS


    ( Rancid Leftovers Delivered to Your Door)

    Would you be grateful if a stranger knocked on your door offering a basket of leftovers that had gone bad in 1975?

    What if they had a huge smile, a friendly manner? Would that encourage you to accept the spoiled offer?

    Prepare yourself! These strangers are on their way!

    They are Jehovah's Witnesses come to advertise their peculiar beliefs at local conventions where outsiders are welcomed to attend to taste the offerings at their table of "food at the proper time".

    "What is this food and how did it go bad in 1975?" you may well ask!

    Jehovah's Witnesses' peculiar beliefs include the unshakeable opinion that everything printed by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society comes directly from God Almighty himself (whose "name" they insist they honor). The multi-billion dollar corporation uses "volunteer" door to door workers to exchange propaganda literature for donations. But, the "volunteer" is compelled to do so upon penalty of excommunication (called "disfellowshipping" if they do not comply. The messege is and always has been an URGENT WARNING!

    The end of the world is coming very very soon! The only way to escape destruction is to become a door to door delivery person like them collecting donation money for more warnings.

    Unlike mainstream Christianity which is always on the lookout for the second coming of Jesus; the Jehovah's Witnesses got their second coming already!! Yes, Jesus Christ returned in 1874! Or, was it 1884? Or was it 1914? (The JW's love date-setting no matter how often they are forced by reality to change them!) Once Jesus "returned", the Witneses will tell you, his first order of business was to examine all the churches and religions to select the one he would use to spread his messege of warning.)

    Whom did Jesus select? Why, it was the very people who had falsely advertised his coming in 1874 and 1884!!

    Not only did Jesus let bygones be bygones he gave them all his business as a reward for their faithful zeal!!

    The dire urgency of the Jehovah's Witness' messege has pointed specifically to the Armageddon event particularly pinpointed to occur in 1914 then 1916 then 1925, 1935, before the end of WWII and 1975.

    The only "true religion" advertised these dates by using Conventions, Watchtower magazines and a garbage truckload of books all with the same urgent rallying cry: END TIMES; join us!

    Disappointment followed disappointment. Millions of JW's woke up to the scam and asked embarassing questions. They were disfellowshipped for their efforts! But, the juggernaut rolls on. The food at the proper time was rancid, moldy and poisonous, yet; they polished it like a fresh apple and offered it as succulent goodness! Door to door the rotting "food" is peddled.

    Watch for the arrival of these yummy meals on heels when the fresh batch of new-believers or hardened veterns come knocking on your door.

    They will urge you to attend their CONVENTIONs so that they can go into their playacting mode. The roles they will play will be "the only true religion". "Love among themselves" will be on display. What you won't see are the families broken and destroyed by their policies of rigid orthodoxy.

    1.No lifesaving medical treatments are allowed for dying children if it involves blood.

    2.No demonstrations of citizenship or patriotism are allowed (flag salute, pledge of allegience, military service, voting, etc.)

    3.No charitable volunteer work is permitted at a local level

    4.No higher education or self-betterment is permitted or encouraged

    5.Every aspect of life; dress, speech and activity are policy dominated and observed

    6.Shunning penalties hang like the sword of Damocles over any infraction.

    7.Leadership has Pope-like authority and cannot be questioned or accused

    All this is the "food at the proper time" you will be offered at your door when the Jehovah's Witness comes knocking with a smile!

    But, don't ask JW's about child-molestation in their Kingdom Halls because the policy they live by is embarassing too. It takes 2 eyewitnesses to a molestation to budge the elders into serious inquiry! One child's complaint may lead to public shame and disfellowshipping: FOR THE VICTIM!

    The smiles are a mask. The food is stale. The messege is delusional, yet; come they will to your front door!

    False prophets never seem to be aware what they themselves are. Why? Because they are True Believers taught never to question authority.

    The drumbeat of indoctrination goes on and on in their world emphasizing that "time is short".

    They cannot learn the lessons from their own history of failure, lies and flip-flopping because they aren't allowed to know about it. They are only permitted to read their own propaganda straight from Brooklyn NY and Watchtower headquarters.

    Jehovah's Witnesses live in two worlds: DENIAL and SUSPENSE. They deny they have ever been wrong about any date they have set. They are in constant suspense that Armagedon will come the day they haven't gone out knocking doors, in which case they will be struck dead for all their trouble!

    Salvation is no gift from Jehovah, you see, it must be earned on a day to day basis!

    So, next time you hear that knock at your door and see that huge (desperate smile) you know the person standing there is trying to save their life by bringing you the rancid leftovers of a failed religious scheme.

    Bon Appetite!

    by Terry Walstrom

  • carlitos
    carlitos

    BRILLIANT!!!!!

  • Swan
    Swan

    Beautiful!

  • Terry
    Terry

    Knock Knock Knock

    "Yes?"

    "Good morning! My name is Joe and this is Charlie and we're in your neighborhood with a group of ministers this morning."

    "Oh?"

    "Charlie here is a kind of inventor. He came up with the idea of a Pyramid-powered religion and I improved on it!"

    "Umm..I'm not sure I know what you mean!"

    "Tell this household about your invention, Charlie!"

    "Er-don't you gentlemen bother--no explanation is--"

    "Hi there! I'm Charlie. Like Joe here just told you I've invented a pyramid-powered religion. By measuring the length of the passageways in the Great Pyramid of Cheops I can tell you when Jesus will return---"

    "Uh-what Charlie means is--when Jesus DID return. Because, Jesus is back! Boy is he pissed! All those fake religions really gall him. But, he chose Charlie's pyramid religion for his special and exclusive throneroom operations!"

    ".....I hate to interrupt but I have some grocery shopping to do and....."

    "Nonsense! Joe and I have all the "groceries" you'll need for everlasting life--right Joe? Ha ha ha ha ha h"

    "Yep. Ha ha ha ha"

    "...Gentlemen, I---"

    "Hold on---we're not finished! We have a special offer just for you here today! Our religion is having a GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE on absolute truth. This is in the form of obsolete religious books, pamphlets, newsletters and magazines that contradict each other on practically everything said there in!!"

    "Right Charlie! This is a buttload of junk we wish to unload on the unwary householder such as yourself for a very modest price! Tell them about it Charlie."

    "Stop gentlemen! I----"

    "Shoosh, now--listen up. This really gets good. Here is our offer. We gurantee you everlasting life on a Paradise earth and a new perfect body if you act today! Buy our three thousand pounds of obsolete religious materials (which we call our "Witnessing Kit") and sell them to your friends and neighbors for extra revenue while insuring your safety when Jehovah's Pyramid-Powered destroyer angels start decapitating non-members."

    "Joe is right--you have to act fast or the offer will expire. In fact--it has expired several times in the past! But, we won't go into that right now. Suffice it to say: WE'RE GOING OUT OF BUSINESS and you should too! If you watch TV you know Geraldo and O'Reilly only report the bad news that is everywhere. This is a "sign" that Jesus is about to kick butts and take names. Actually, we're the ones taking names.....you don't want to make our list by not participating----do you?"

    "I'm going to call the police if you don't leave!"

    "Ha--our kind get arrested all the time! True christians are always either in jail or in the morgue! It proves we are God's chosen ones. As a matter of fact---we are both dead right now. Does that surprise you? But--our spirit continues by the door to door work of hawking our bladerdash and crackpot End of the World warnings as Jehovah's Witnesses from house to house even today!"

    "Are you insane????"

    "Crazy like a fox! Ha ha ha ha Charlie here had a wife who was a real shrew who convinced him he was "god's mouthpiece" and after he died I just continued that nonsense. I applied it to our corporation with me as President eventually! That way I could write books and articles about not using aluminum cookware. It's poison ya know! No vaccinations because the germ theory is Satan's lie. Pasteurization of milk is a lie too. How do I know? Because the Lord Jehovah tells me so"

    "Oh indeed, Joe, indeed! Joe here makes everybody go door to door selling his Witness Kit like a franchise. He's a genius! So--what do you say? Do you want to live forever? Millions once living who are now dead in their graves WILL NEVER DIE you know!!"

    SLAM!!

    "Just shake the dust from your feet, Charlie. Shake the dust from your feet. On to the next house! Let's spread the Good news like cow manure on a newly mowed lawn."

    "Okay, Joe. This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship."

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten
    Would you be grateful if a stranger knocked on your door offering a basket of leftovers that had gone bad in 1975?

    Couldnt have put it better...

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    Terry,
    The "meals on heels" are indeed rancid; however, the post you just dished up was might tasty.
    Good post.

  • Terry
    Terry

    Thank kew!

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    Very nice article, but a couple inaccuracies jumped out at me...

    But, the "volunteer" is compelled to do so upon penalty of excommunication (called "disfellowshipping" if they do not comply.

    No one has ever been threatened with DFing for being "inactive" in field service.

    3.No charitable volunteer work is permitted at a local level

    4.No higher education or self-betterment is permitted or encouraged

    Permitted is the wrong word here. Volunteer work unrelated to furthering the goals of the Org has always been discouraged, but has never been forbidden. In fact I remember a couple Awake! articles from the 90's that mentioned individuals doing outside volunteer and put it in a slightly positive light... of course, "balance" is always recommended. Higher education, while frowned upon, is also not forbidden. I am not trying to nit-pick here or defend the Borg, I just think we do a disservice as ex-JWs when we make statements that are clearly not true. A newcomer JW here could read these types of statements and then decide that all the stories about "apostate lies" are correct after all. No Apologies
  • Terry
    Terry


    Those unfamiliar with the insidious manner in which JW official policy is enforced might be swayed by public statements about certain issues (such as voting).

    The public face of Jehovah's Witnesses is that of a reasonable and mainstream christian religion scurpulously interested in the word and work of God.

    However, those who have been on the inside long enough have tasted the raw edge of the two-edged sword of policy.

    Yes, we are told, you have a trained conscience and are free to use it to make personal decisions about taking blood, voting or charity work. However......

    if you make a decision contrary to the will of the governing body and its comprehensive list of do's and don'ts you'll find yourself in a judiciary committee meeting being accused of being "spritually weak" and you'll lose any congregation privileges you have. You'll be a "marked person" and you won't like what that mark implies.

    Most charity has a religious tie-in because most religious groups believe charity is good. Jehovah's Witnesses do not! Even Meals on Wheels can get you into trouble if it is discovered you are helping out by volunteering your time feeding the old and infirm. Why? YOU ARE STEALING TIME FROM THE DOOR TO DOOR PREACHING.

    This is a tightly wound spring. As a publisher you don't want it to snap down on your neck.

    There are many JW's who have tried unsuccessfully to get their outside charity and volunteer work past the elders.

    You'd be hard-pressed to find any success.

    As far as higher education goes; it is the same story. You have a public policy which is fair and reasonable. But, in private--within the walls of the Kingdom Hall it is a different and repressive enviornment. Don't be fooled by the false mask worn at the public relations level of this nightmare religion.

  • Scully
    Scully
    Yes, we are told, you have a trained conscience and are free to use it to make personal decisions about taking blood, voting or charity work. However......

    if you make a decision contrary to the will of the governing body and its comprehensive list of do's and don'ts you'll find yourself in a judiciary committee meeting being accused of being "spritually weak" and you'll lose any congregation privileges you have. You'll be a "marked person" and you won't like what that mark implies.

    This is a real bone of contention for me, Terry.

    Don't you just love it, how the WTS tells you to use your Bible Trained Conscience™, and then if you make the "wrong" decision, you know damn well that you'll get castigated for it, possibly lose your family if you get DFd, so you do things the way they want you to do them.... then later on, when you feel you've been cheated out of your education, your pension plan, or you lose a spouse or a child over the blood issue and feel "wronged".... what do the Elders™ tell you? That it was your choice.

    No accountability! No responsibility! No "we're sorry for your loss that came about as a result of trusting the Faithful and Discreet Slave™"! Oh, no.... you are responsible for the outcomes of choices that have been coerced upon you by the black and white thinking of the leaders, who tell you that one way leads to God's Approval™ and the other way leads to being in league with the Devil himself. So, really, there was no real "option" unless you were willing to lose EVERYTHING you held dear. Your family, your friends, the relationship you believed you had with God, all of them hanging in the balance waiting for your choice.

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