Hi everyone! Here's my story:
I live in Brussels, Belgium. I became a witness at the age of 18. My parents were not quite happy. My father forbade me to attend more than one meeting a week. I caved in under the pressure, and felt so much guilty that I soon had extreme attacks of panic. It took years to recover. Apart from the suffering, I had to repeat that year at university. Yet, I was glad to have found the "Truth"!
As the time of my graduation was approaching, the issue of the refusal of alternative service became more acute. My parents were desperate. All Belgian witness youngsters had to serve prison terms because the Watchtower policy at that time was still that we could serve neither a military nor an alternative service. I didn't fully understand, but I trusted the Society. Fortunately, it turned out eventually that our family physician could use the excuse of my former panic attacks to make me exempt from any service.
Once on my own, I expanded my preaching service. I married, and together with my wife set out on full-time preaching. We worked part-time, lived frugally, had no children, no car, etc. We learned the English and Mandarin Chinese languages to preach to the Chinese community in Brussels. We studied the Bible with certainly more than a hundred Chinese people. Some of them became witnesses. During the last years, we were preparing to move to China as self-supporting missionaries. But I had always felt uncomfortable with the sectarianism and legalism.
Five years ago, I realized that I could not dispel my doubts anymore. Jehovah’s witnesses refuse blood transfusions on account of the decree to “abstain from blood” because it represents life. I felt it strange to be ready to die or let die out of respect for life. I decided to investigate. It took one year of intensive study.
What I discovered was very different from the official position of Jehovah’s witnesses. Not only was the legalism morally wrong, but the understanding of the symbolism of blood was completely erroneous as well. I trusted that the Governing Body would readily listen to my arguments, so I wrote letters, first to the elders, then to the circuit overseer and the Brussels branch, and finally to the correspondence desk at Patterson. Each time, I only encountered dumb ears.
I finally called Fred Rusk, the Watchtower officer who had replied to my letters, to request a meeting. He reluctantly agreed, saying to me: "Didn’t we tell you to let the matter rest?" I met him and Ray Richardson at Patterson on November 19, 2002. I was very much respectful, but Fred Rusk was aggressive and impatient. He told me that in the Bible the blood of a living or dead creature represented just the same thing. His view couldn't be more opposite to the biblical symbolism of blood! I said I would appeal to the Governing Body. Ray Richardson kindly warned me against the danger of apostasy.
When I arrived in Brooklyn later that day, I met with aides Robert Landis and David Iannelli. Fred Rusk or Ray Richardson had warned them of my coming. Robert Landis was nice and understanding, but had to tell me that the Governing Body does not hold hearings. I left a letter, and went back to Brussels.
I continued zealous in the service, and sent a few more letters to insist with my request to be heard. Finally, I decided to publish my study on blood over the Internet. I really felt that I had a duty to do so, as human lives were involved. Since I would not do anything behind the back of the elders of my congregation, I told them about it. Their reaction was more aggressive than expected. I wasn’t ready for that yet. I backed off, and removed my web page. I was therefore not disfellowshipped, but nevertheless stripped off all teaching and organizational responsibilities. The shock was so severe I was hospitalized for a week, but I soon recovered and gathered strength. That is when I started studying a lot, radically questioning everything I had believed and taught for years. I was taken aback by the extent of error, even fraud, in the Watchtower interpretation of the Bible.
I had a contact with "Elder Lee" of ajwrb.org, and, again, told the elders about it. I was called before a judicial committee. Tony Maes, the presiding overseer of my congregation, bent forward to ask me The Big Question in a solemn tone: "Do you have faith in the Faithful and Discreet Slave?" That was it. I had the final confirmation that the god those men worship is their Organization. I told the elders I was disassociating.
I read Ray Franz' books, and was scandalized to discover the true face of the Governing Body. For example, since the 1970s not even the half of Governing Body members agreed that young witnesses had to go to prison for refusing to serve an alternative service! And we were not even aware of that fact! Sadly, my upset feelings at that time caused my divorce. My ex-wife sided with the elders and the Society. To her eyes, I'm not a believer anymore.
I have now recovered my spiritual freedom. I'm moving forward professionally (I'm a pharmacist). I'll soon move to China to polish my mastery of Mandarin and teach pharmacology. I hope to have a real family one day. I'm happy again!