It's judgment day with mum and dad (page 2)

nsrn

Sass, I echo the sentiments of those preceding me. Her letter is a series of cheap shots. Your reply is priceless. You have such class and honor in your response! Hugs and cheers from Indiana, USA.

I disagree that your mother's letter had a number of cheap shots. Your mother expressed the feelings of most that are long timers in the "faith," that lose a child to "the world." She is obviously very emotional. She cannot help it. It is how we were and are, all programmed.

Your response is a wonderful piece of heart felt writing. It sounds like your folks raised a great kid!

I do not look forward to day when I have to have this conversation with my beloved family. We're talking 4 generations worth, uncles and aunts, etc., etc., etc.

Hope you can keep it together.

Watson

Mulan

Disfellowshipping is described as a loving way of showing me the seriousness of what I've done and encouraging me to return, but it actually achieved the opposite; they couldn't have pushed me further away.

Very well put. I've told my mother that the way we've been treated does not attract me to her religion. I understand it because I was part of it for so many years, but it doesn't work. She agreed with me. We are not disfellowshipped, but we are "notorious apostates" in this area, and Mom still sees us and talks to us. My brother has been disfellowshipped since 1977 and she has been very vocal that she will never cut him off.

I'm so sorry your parents are taking such a hard line. They don't have to do it that way, but it seems more and more are being guilted into treating their own children so badly.

At least you do have your grandparents and other family. Give them time, maybe they will come around. Your letter is wonderful, kind, and loving. They know how you feel and it's all on them now.

jeanniebeanz

Sass,

Amazing, isn't it? I sit back now and think of all the cruel things my parents, especially mom, has said and done since I left, and I have to just shake my head in disgust.

This was really a beautiful response to your parents. Your reaction to being treated like flotsam was very different than mine, I must say. But, Kudos for being able to keep offering the olive branch. Especially after being treated to such a temper tantrum from people who are supposed to be the voice of reason and calm in our lives.

Jean

bigmouth

Frass, your intended reply was brilliant. It wasn't ranting or accusative and there was no veiled sarcasm.
In your Mums state of mind though I doubt she could read any of it objectively. I like the way you didn't try and point out where her 30 year faith was wrong.Imagine having to accept such a huge chunk of life has gone irretrievably, it would feel humiliating.
I'm not sure about your Dad though. Is he a man of few words, or is he very angry? I suspect he's not as hard line as Mum and doesn't want to hurt either of you.
Well Done!
Pete

John Doe

Sass, if you've read any of my posts, you'll know I don't often give compliments. That, however, was the most logical, constructive, and sweet letters given the circumstance that I can imagine.

carla

I'm so sorry for all you are going through now and in the years to come. I thought your letter was very good, but as you know I'm not a jw so I think it will it go right over their heads.

DHL

(((((Sass)))))! My heart bleeds for you!

Witchettygrub

Hello Sass,

'I know that what I'm losing now is conditional love - I only get to be loved if I affirm your faith.'
I am unable to understand a parent loving their child conditionally! Regardless of what a child does, love covers all. Isn't this the example Jesus set?

I hope in time the pain will pass for you, however, your parents pain will not end as long as they cling to the WTS.

Witchettygrub

jwfacts

I am so sorry for you. That is a wonderful letter that you wrote back.

It's judgment day with mum and dad