by sass_my_frass 28 Replies latest jw friends
What a beautiful reply.
Hang in there if you know that your parents love you. My parents shunned me and my sisters for a couple of years but they couldn't continue to do so. Your folks have been in so long and have been truly brainwashed, they think that they are doing this for your own good
Your letter was loving, patient and understanding of where they're coming from, pity it doesn't work both ways.
I wonder what they think jesus would do in a similar situation?!
Best wishes
D
sounds like your parents are travel agents for guilt trips. when i first began reading the letter, i thought perhaps you did something seriously wrong..drug addiction, murder or homosexuality. what a terrible decision they made and your right, so unnatural. you should of never been put in a position. my two adult children left in their late teens and i never could of quit talking to them. that's one reason i'm not a jw. the only difference between you and those going to the hall is that you are choosing not to live a lie. isn't it interesting that they would be happier if you did though?
God Bless and BIG HUGS. This would be like experiencing the death of both of your parents. How SAD for you and them both. I'm praying the tides will turn.
(((((((( sass ))))))
Parents...they can be a real pain in the Ass!
My self, I found the direct route was always the best with my parents. They asked me when I was coming back to the 'troof', I told them NEVER. I would rather die right now where I stand than set foot in a KH and listen to all that BS again.
Obviously they were not impressed. But honest is the best policy, in most things. They could like it or lump it. They chose to 'like' it! Good for them.
I loved your letter. I hope it helps your parents understand. But you MUST be you and that is NONE of their business.
Yeah; I'm worried because they really are becoming very deeply depressed, I'm sure it's because mum has believed that armageddon is coming for thirty years and meanwhile her body is shutting down and her kids have well grown up and moved on. She's been unstable for 18 years now and it's driven away my oldest sister, the other siblings have pretty much given up too. And of course her sisters and parents have always hated the JWs for taking mum away from them; she has always tried to go the preach on them and they've always politely put the idea aside.
Dad... at first he was 'opposed', but somewhere along the line came around. Never got baptised though; I think he's just too scared to go out on the preach. Still I get the impression that he went along with it to keep the peace in the family and finally actually caught the bug, and now he has only witness friends, so he's as stuck in it as mum.
Anyway, it's probably my last chance to get them to see anything, but I wanted to be as gentle as possible so they'd read the lot. Mum's the kind to print it out and carry it in her purse for the next thirty years, so I wanted the first and last sentences to be about how much I love them. I also wanted to make it clear that I'm not the one doing the cutting off.
I'm kind of numb. I was away from home this week and got it on my work email, it's pretty impressive that they always catch me when I'm out of reach of Mr F for help. Still, I've known that it would eventually come to this and got ready for it, and in a few subtle ways got it happening. I'm looking forward to it being over with, and for the healing to begin.
Your response is extremely well thought out and written from the heart.
My thoughts are with you.
DB74
(((((sass))))))
such a cruel mentality. It's amazing what the human mind can be taught to rationalize as "loving." They TRULY do think they are doing what's BEST for you.
Thanks so much for your PM. I would have PM'ed back but my MAC won't let me SEND PM's -only receive them. Send me your email addy if you want to.
I have decided to do exactly what you told me. I've tried to talk with these "friends" and they shut me down completely. I will NOT give them anything they can use against me. Like Morwen said in her post a couple days ago about her family situation "you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't" (give an explanation, or explain your position.)
Someone gave me good advice when I first left - they said "you can't play tennis with someone, if you don't serve the ball back."
I'm just going to hold the ball for awhile. In some ways it's a relief to have them cut me off. (although they see it as me cutting them off.) I have to realize that no matter how much I want them to see I'm right - they just may never do that. If they do come around one day, it's going to have to be on their own.
love to you - freedomlover
That letter sounds like something my mother would write! I feel for you Frass, and I am sorry you have to endure such pain. I am about to go through the same thing with my parents, as I am awaiting the same type of letter.
Marked. This was such a good find because i feel a storm brewing with my own parents and I know it won't be long til i receive a letter just like this from my mom :(
