SUGGESTED POLICY CHANGES to spice up the religion

by Terry 34 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Terry
    Terry

    1. The president of the Watchtower Society is really Jesus incarnate
    2. Plural wives are now allowed (but, only pretty young ones!)
    3. Special silk robes for elders (and maybe fancy headgear)
    4. A Theme park like Disney World: WATCHTOWERLAND!
    5. Claim ownership of all the janitorial services owned by the brothers
    6. Declare Wednesday's "clothing optional"!
    7. Release a Watchtower publication: "Judge Rutherford's dirty jokes"
    8. Bingo right after the Watchtower study on Sundays!
    9. Uniforms for the door to door publishers (White robes with detachable Urim and Thummim)
    10. Add "slaying in the spirit" during book study!
    11. Invite John Tesh to Conventions
    12. Publish a special issue of the Watchtower titled "WE WERE ONLY KIDDING!" special April fool's edition

    Anybody else got some suggestions?

  • jstalin
    jstalin

    A disco ball for each Kingdom Hall.

  • kid-A
    kid-A

    JW Martyrs are instantly given membership in the 144,000 and as a bonus, Jehoobie gives the 40 Shulamite maidens upon their arrival in the Pleiades.

  • DannyHaszard
    DannyHaszard

    Gary Buss stated it perfectly,"the WT doctrines are no more or less wacky than other fringe groups out there"

    All they have to do to is repeal the shunning protocol (disfellowshipping) to get acceptance.

  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo

    ''Stone a Shunned One'' - Once a week a d'fed one is stoned (it's all Biblical you know) - special WTBTS stones, on sale at the Book Counter £1 each or 8 for a fiver. (also raises money for the Society)

  • Terry
    Terry
    ''Stone a Shunned One'' - Once a week a d'fed one is stoned (it's all Biblical you know) - special WTBTS stones, on sale at the Book Counter £1 each or 8 for a fiver. (also raises money for the Society)

    I think the FDS has been stoned for years!

  • NewYork44M
    NewYork44M

    Any time you can combine religion and alcohol you have a really good thing.

  • mama1119
    mama1119

    I think they need to go back to having smoke breaks like the early days

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    After discovery of "The Gospel of Myron" in 2011 the Watchtower institutes the practice of hat exchange during the Memorial Observation.

    "Wear this, for it is my hat" -- Myron 3:16

  • trevor
    trevor

    I once heard that Beer was served at the German assemblies although we couldn't get any booze at the UK Twickenham assemblies. There was a constant trail of people 'thirsting after righteousness' who would rush to the nearby pubs between sessions. That is how I learned to sprint!

    So my suggestion is that every Kingdom Hall should have a bar at the back. Drinks should be served before, during and after during all meetings.

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