do they really think this makes me want to come back????

BlackSwan of Memphis

Yesterday I found out from my husband who works with my mom's neighbor, that my sister is pregnant with her third child.

Lately my husband and I keep getting this feeling that something is up with the family.

What I am really not understanding is ....

Why on earth do they think that this makes me want to return??? This doesn't make me want to return, it gives me confidence that leaving was the best thing to do. Shunning me has not made me weaker, it has made me stronger. It has made me realize more then ever that YES the dubbers are a cult. They just are.

On a side note: My first, intial, knee jerk, gut reaction to the news was this, it was Not an accident.

whatever

BSoM

(edited to add: What really, really, really cracks me up about this whole damn thing is that this is NOT a sitution where one day I marched into their lives with a big fat da letter and said, see ya. Oh no, I tried, albeit badly, doing the fading routine. I slowly stopped hitting meetings. Until one day my two eldest siblings who generally Never would call me, Never cared unless it was one of those Big issue type things, decided they had the right to Demand an answer from me as to my feelings of God and the Divine and whatever. They outright asked me, "where do you stand? I want to know where you stand." My mom got in on it, "I want to know what your belief is, what is your new truth? Where do you stand?" Who the hell has the right to ask you anything about your beliefs about God/dess, no god whatever? No one. Because I gave them an answer I get treated like this? Bullshit. No I don't think so. Sorry to rant, but this just ticks me off.)

Cellist

Rant away. Sorry you have to go through all that B.S. Believing in a cult and critical thinking just don't mix.

Cellist

carla

I never understood that myself. Ignoring those you love would make you want to come back to a religion?! I asked a MS once how his shunning his relative would show Christian love or how he (the ms) could be a 'light to the world' when the relative wasn't even allowed to see or speak to him?

BlackSwan of Memphis

Thanks Cellist. It IS BS isn't it? Aargh. What makes me want to smack Myself is the very thought that I shunned people myself in a past life. Because it is all just bs. Blah.

Carla: Yeah, y'know it took me years to figure out, huh? This makes sense how?

I had a close friend who was disfellowshipped. She was df'ed for having a kid out of wedlock and after she got reinstated she fell away again. This time the elders didn't catch her, but she was into some pretty hard drugs and was really screwing up her life pretty bad.

She ended up in prison for about 5 years. When she got out, she flat out told me that she was not going to get df'ed again because she didn't want to lose her family.

That hit me so hard, because I thought, wait a minute something is really f***** up here. Shouldn't she Want be a jw because she believes it's the 'truth' and not because she is afraid of losing everything???

*eyeroll*

It is so stupid now that I look back.

BSoM

Cellist

Yes, I feel like a real idiot. How could I have bought into the idea? It is sooooo ridiculous. Doesn't make an ounce of sense when you allow yourself to analyze it. I guess that's the point, we didn't allow ourselves to analyze what we were told.

((((Hugs)))))

Cellist

free2beme

Do you think she is having the child right now, to get you to come back? I wasn't sure if that is what you were implying.

anewme

I am sorry Black Swan. I know you have tried to do the fade out of love for your family.
But these people are seriously entrapped mentally and really believe we are DEAD!!!

Its sad to let go but at some point we realize we must forget them and move on.

You have not even done anything wrong!!!!

You have just missed meetings!!!

Outrageous!

Im so sorry. Its so painful to fully realize the truth.

Anewme

merfi

Shunning me has not made me weaker, it has made me stronger.

This is exactly how I feel right now. Freaking bring it on.... My "friends" of 15+ years (not as long as many of you, nor do I have JW family thank god -- my hugs and heart to you all who do...) are of course shunning me. So I've been forced to break out of the JW shell -- not as thick as I thought -- and make new, true friends. It takes a strength to overcome the sadness of losing "friends", strength to jump into 'the world' and befriend 'bad association', strength to lean on non-JW friends we've been told over and over won't be true... I've found the opposite. My 'wordly' friends, my 'wordly' family have been my stronghold. My JW friends weren't there when I needed them and certainly aren't now.

I think the shunning policy is the most f**d up thing ever -- farthest thing from 'loving' or 'christian' imagined.

Damn cult.

~merfi

BlackSwan of Memphis

Do you think she is having the child right now, to get you to come back? I wasn't sure if that is what you were implying.

Sorry f2b that I wasn’t more clear. I guess what I should have said along with that is that it feels like they’re trying to replace me and my kids. Like there is an empty spot that needs to be filled. Now, even as I write it, it sounds absurd and self centered. Shouldn''t have said it, it was just a gut reaction.

I am sorry Black Swan. I know you have tried to do the fade out of love for your family.
But these people are seriously entrapped mentally and really believe we are DEAD!!!
Its sad to let go but at some point we realize we must forget them and move on.
You have not even done anything wrong!!!!
You have just missed meetings!!!
Outrageous!
Im so sorry. Its so painful to fully realize the truth.

Hi Anewme,

I tried fading. Didn’t work. Wasn’t good at it. After my eldest sib sister pushed the issue, I finally decided to just do it. I was tired of hiding, they wanted an answer, and I was finished with it. So I da’ed. Had they not pushed the issue, I don’t know that I would have da’ed at that time. Maybe in some ways I should thank them.

This is exactly how I feel right now. Freaking bring it on.... My "friends" of 15+ years (not as long as many of you, nor do I have JW family thank god -- my hugs and heart to you all who do...) are of course shunning me. So I've been forced to break out of the JW shell -- not as thick as I thought -- and make new, true friends. It takes a strength to overcome the sadness of losing "friends", strength to jump into 'the world' and befriend 'bad association', strength to lean on non-JW friends we've been told over and over won't be true... I've found the opposite. My 'wordly' friends, my 'wordly' family have been my stronghold. My JW friends weren't there when I needed them and certainly aren't now.
I think the shunning policy is the most f**d up thing ever -- farthest thing from 'loving' or 'christian' imagined.

Damn cult.

You said it. Damn cult.

You are so right. It does take strength to jump into the world. I have had a few people tell me the reason why I’m out and not anyone else from the family, is because I’m stronger. Aaack. I don’t care if it is true. It still hurts. And it still sucks. And I still have days I want to whine and mope and get mad.

But what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

This too shall pass…

freedomlover

I hear ya girl!!

There *shunning* only reinforces my beliefs that I made the right decisions. They are really brainwashed and warped in their thinking. I'm ashamed I used to think this was the right thing to do....

rant all you want. that's what we're here for.

pouring a glass for you and me (clinking glasses) - let's toast to MENTAL FREEDOM! this side is soooo much better to be on.....

do they really think this makes me want to come back????

Share this