You might be a Witness, if ... (in the spirit of redneck jokes)

by free2beme 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • DesertRat
    DesertRat

    If you HAD a Smurf as a child, but were made to throw it out after a Special Needs talk...you might be a Witness.

    If you were ever discouraged from talking about 'what you wanted to be when you grow up,' because 'the New Order will already be here'...you might be a Witness.

    If your idea of fun was playing Bible charades with the same kids from the Hall (& you got mad because you pulled Jonah's name out of the hat when you wanted David or Goliath...)...you might be a Witness.

    If you happened to be at home on Halloween night & your parents made you pass out magazines to any trick-or-treaters that came by...you might be a Witness.

    If your milk at the convention was warm & you said nothing for fear of disrespecting 'Jehovah's arrangement'...you might be a Witness.

    If you held back the tears at your father's funeral because nobody else was crying & might think you lacked faith in the resurrection hope...you might be a Witness.

    If you heard stories about the atrocities in Malawi & smiled at the thought of 'how WONDERFUL that these brothers died faithful'...you might be a Witness.

    If you were scheduled to read the Watchtower lesson but replaced at the last minute because of your 'five o'clock shadow'...you might be a Witness.

    If you had your heart set on a Mazda Miata, but an elder talked you out of it...you might be a Witness.

    If you ever popped your last twenty into the Contribution Box when you really could have used it for gas (aka 'relying on Jehovah')...you might be a Witness.

    If you did run out of gas that night, & called it a 'test'...you might be a Witness.

    If a Good Samaritan drove by & offered to help, & you called it 'Jehovah's direction'...you might be a Witness.

    If you tried to thank the benefactor afterwards by offering a copy of the Watchtower or Awake...you might be a Witness.

    DR

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