I accuse my wife of apostacy. Hilarity ensues.
by under_believer 44 Replies latest jw friends
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serendipity
You lost me when you accused her of being an apostate. That's a loaded word to a JW. There's got to be better ways to get a point across without clubbing her over the head with that.
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under_believer
Serendipity, I suppose it was partly out of frustration. She is among the sizeable group of JW's who believe that they can pick and choose their beliefs from the JW smorgasboard, and yet still call themselves JW's as long as they keep quiet about it. In reality, anyone who doesn't implicitly accept everything from the Governing Body cannot, by the GB's own declaration, remain a Witness.
This presents a cognitive problem for me; it does not for her. She says that I take it all too seriously and I need to relax. Isn't taking it seriously the very point?
I wish she'd post on here, but that would necessitate my admitting that I do, and I'm not totally convinced she wouldn't turn me in. She's a wonderful person and I make no doubt that she'd get along famously here (though not in a doctrinally profound way--she's more of a community builder.) -
daniel-p
Those are quite some points you made about charity, etc. but I don't think a conversation like that would go over very well with my wife. Rather, I try to gently insert one or two comments and no more. I don't want her to throw walls up - which she will - if she thinks I'm attacking her.
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Darth Yhwh
Hey there U_B. Sorry to hear about the confrontation with your wife. Fortunatly I faded from the borg before marrying my lovely "worldly" wife. As a result I'm in no position to give advice on such matters, however, perhaps if you slapped her around a bit....?
Just a thought.
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under_believer
Darth Elohim, I know you're not serious, but honestly if I ever even mentally thought about slapping my wife, she'd telepathically sense it from across the room or house, fly instantly to my side using telekinetic powers unknown to man or beast, and rearrange my organs in such a way that they are no longer internal. THEN she would serve me papers, papers she'd drawn up after travelling through time.
Seriously, she is an extremist when it comes to physical abuse. Totally and completely deplores it in every way. And that is one point on which we are united. -
gymbob
Under-believer,
There are so many different people and personalities it's hard to say which is the best way to approach a dub with "logical" thoughts regarding their beliefs that simply make no sense. Depending on how long they've been in the org., they really aren't used to it (independant thinking remember?).
I've been pondering this myself for awhile, I have a sister that i'd like to help see the truth about the 'Truth'. Sometimes you just want slap 'em, (but that probably wouldn't go over well).
My ex-wife and I had a few 'discussions' about the same way after I DA'd and
before she filed for divorce.....
Me: "How are you going to explain going to our daughter's wedding (she's faded) when she's getting married in a church?"
Ex-wife: "Witnesses can do that".
Me: "Since when? And if that's true, WHY are you trying to TALK HER OUT OF getting married in the church that she's been baptized in, and REGULARLY ATTENDS??"
Ex-wife: "I'm not suppose to talk to you about spiritual matters!" She turns and walks away.....
GYMBB
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sspo
Just to put my 2 cents in.
I'm going thru the same as under-beleiver, 3 months ago i started talking to my wife about the Watchtower and some of the doctrines that i beleived for 30 years and once i got the label as apostate there is no turning back.
Went before the elders, (still going on with meetings with them) but my wife is filing for divorce because she does not want to live with an apostate and her faith is in danger and does not want to lose her everlasting life.
Cannot say a word to her anymore about anything concerning the Watchtower that she walks away.
26 years down the drain.
every wife is definetely different and i'm happy for those that thru patience were able to help them see the light.
But for you under-beleiver if you want to help her try to bite your tongue and be loving and sweet and try more than anything to reason with her when you see stupidity on the part of the watchtower teachings.
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anewme
Well Underbeliever, you planted some seeds that hopefully will grow. I think that point about charity is well made.
You know how far you can go with your wife before she will get defensive and angry. But you are in a good position to plant thoughts that she herself may never have voiced, but felt inside.
The hopeless teenagers at the hall. The reality out there in the world that a little education makes such a difference in the outcome for a young person.
The fact that the Bible really does not say how many meetings per week the apostles and first Christians attended....I'll bet none at night!
The Bible does not say that all Christians were ministers like Paul. He wished that they were maybe, but can anyone say all the women went hovel to hovel in those days? I dont think so. Today is the same as then....it is not for women to do.....a very low thing to do....and not respected by alot of people.
The shunning for low meeting attendance is peculiar to the Witnesses. Other churches pray for the sick and those absent. (Send them food too)
Why are parties and get togethers discouraged? Why are there not teen programs? Where is the help in time of need?
How can people live like this? It seems more like a business than a church made up of families!
I think you have alot more to say to your wife when you can squeeze it in. And best wishes to you!
Take the lead on Saturdays and Sundays taking the family to the town park or on a camping trip. Point to the stars and ask your kids "Do you think we will ever know everything about the universe?"
"Then we will never know everything about our Creator either" (the JWs think they know every thing about God, what he will do and when and how. I think that is worse than ridiculous!)
Hang in there and keep subtley plugging away!
Anewme -
Grace
I disagree with those who said that this treatment of your wife is not respectful. I applaud your intellect and effort in trying to get your wife to see the ridiculousness of the Watchtower doctrine, which cannot hold itself up in a simple conversation.
It is not disrespectful, it is courageous.
Grace