If I'm not mistaken, your grieving friend is tata, and I think she said it all a couple of posts back. While you've been worried about comforting her, here she is comforting you. Or rather, you're really comforting each other, and that is what this is all about. That is how we face death, we do our best to be there for each other, just like the two of you are.
YOU TWO are the very answer to the questions you posed.
None of us can take the sting out of death, but we can share that pain - with each other and with the one dying oe hurting. We can see that it's possible to face death ourselves or the death of someone dear to us, and deal with it.
Christ, we can't stop the pain in life, and who would want to? To care about and love someone requires that we face hurt and pain. If you are a parent, do you think you will never feel pain around the life of your child, not hurt when they fall, not cry when they are shamed in a classroom, not get angry when they are beaten by a bully? Knowing the truth about something doesn't mean we're protected from pain and hurt, it simply means we face that pain and hurt with a much more realistic understanding of what is happening, and I don't believe that that is a bad thing.
I've struggled myself with whether or not to share what I've learned about the Witness teachings, and with some people I simply won't tell them a thing. It is hard for me with some folks to think that they can handle not having that crutch of the the new system and the big daddy god who will make everything all right.
I don't think either of you are like that. I sympathize with your pain, and I honor you both for being there for each other.
S4