Your Funniest House-to-House Presentations

by Good Girl or Bad Girl? 38 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  Brother Elder and I go to this door. The guy opens the door (looks like a hung over Charles Manson Family member), and Brother E. starts his presentation. The guy looks at him, looks over to me, looks back to him, the whole time Brother E. is talking. The guy SLOWLY starts shutting the door, just staring at us, and finally closes it gently. Brother E. looks at me and says "I guess he wasn't interested!".

  I HAVE TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS RIGHT NOW, LAUGHING, REMEMBERING THAT MOMENT.

  Warlock, this is PRICELESS!!!
• 

  candidlynuts

  there was a lil boy in our congregation who at 3 or 4 yrs old went to a door at xmas.. lady and her kid at the door. as his mom is giving her presentation he all the sudden pops up and says to the kid" There is NOT a santa clause and if you think there is one your stupid and wicked!!"

  the mom clamped her hand on his mouth, said bye and LEFT FAST !!

  she didnt take him out again till spring lol

  we also had an older elder who would tell dirty jokes to men at the doors and then offer the mags. shocked the heck out of my ex husband.. of course he wasnt as shocked as the householder who may have thought the mags had other dirty jokes in them lmao
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  While visiting the BIG city I went out door to door with a friend. Started the usual blah blah blah presentation and the householder interrupted me with; "So, what's the bottom line here?"

  I said, "The end is coming and we're warning people so they can make an informed choice."

  He replied, "Consider me warned." and shut the door.

  That was fun!

  W.Once
• 

  damselfly

  I don't have any funny stories because I did this too
  
  <<I did that one day the "We're Jehovah's Witnesses" because my friend told me this way we could just breeze through our side of the street and wait in the car>>
  
  Hello! Easiest way to end a conversation. I also imployed the very faint pseudoknock, combined with going to the door on the house that they obviously never, ever used themselves.
  
  Birth -17 yrs = 0 scriptures read to householders. :-)
  
  
  Dams
• 

  Virgochik

  My Dad went up a long winding drive towards a house when a German Shepherd came out and chased him back towards the car, tearing his trouser leg. The householder came out and my Dad had the nerve to tell him, he should pay for the pants, at which the householder chased him the rest of the way to the car, shaking a walking stick. As he backed the car up, the dog was still yapping and Dad was glaring the man down, as if he hadn't just trespassed on his property uninvited!
• 

  bebu

  These are hysterical! Loved the batman/robin, clark kent, and especially "resistance is futile"! ROFL!!!!!!

  Warlock, I can imagine your scenario because your hilarious story reminds me of a time I went out Christmas caroling with some folks about 20 years back. We were belting out "Deck the Halls" with real enthusiasm when an ancient lady opened her door... looked around at us, and then closed it slowly right in our faces. We were singing a confused, "Fa lalala laaaa.. la... laaa.... La? ...La?...?" Talk about cold water. Sheeesh! But really, it was extremely funny!!!!!!!!!!

  bebu
• 

  unclebruce

  Great thread guy's - some very funny stuff .. I love the "I have a message from outta space" line.

  At one time we were instructed by the CO to stop saying "g'day we're Jehovah's Witnesses" and we were to do everything to avoid that. Well there we are on the first morning of this new instruction and my dad is standing on a street corner harranging the CO. "It doesn't work and it's dishonest" my dad is saying.

  Apparently he ran into a householder who keep asking whether dad was a JW and dad (a very honest/earthy kinda guy) kept ducking the question. In the end the frustrated householder angrily said:

  Now Look, when a stranger comes to my door I want to know two things: 1 - who they are and 2 - what they're selling!"

  So from then on we all went back to saying "g'day we're Jehovah's Witnesses .. brief pause to give householder the chance to say"not interested" ...

  :::

  In 1973 I was working 'house over house' with ol' Charlie Berhardt (famed outback pioneer). Truth books were selling like hotcakes in the suburb of Prospect SA and we were keeping score of our placements as we went:

  As we passed each other:

  Me: "I've placed 4 books"

  Charlie: "I've placed 5"

  Me: "I've placed 6"

  Charlie: I've placed 8"

  Me: "I've placed 8"

  Charlie: "I've placed 9"

  Me: "may I come and see your presentation?"

  So I go with Charlie to the next door and this is what he says to the woman who opens the door:

  Charlie: "g'day we're selling these cheap books - they're just 25c each"

  Woman turns inside, comes back, swaps 25c for Truth book, transaction complete lol.

  Me:
• 

  Jeffro

  Once when a doing a door by myself (reluctantly), the lady at the door (as usual) said "I'm not interested", to which I replied that the phrase is so common it should have a "™" after it, but people didn't know what they weren't actually interested in. I placed a Creation book. Sorry, uninterested lady.

  Another time, before either of us at the door could start a presentation, the householder quickly said "I'm not interesting". We politely agreed, and left.
• 

  Stealth453

  Perhaps a bit off topic, but I know a fellow that made the mistake of accepting a set of mags from a couple of pioneers one Saturday morning. I know he took them more to be polite than anything else. However, as luck, and the wt would have it, those two pioneers kept coming back. Almost weekly. After about a month and a halfs worth of rv's, my buddy had had enough.

  He put a sign on the front door early Saturday morning, that read..."please come to the back door, front is broken".

  On his back patio, he had drawn a chalk outline of a person, decorated it with a bit of red food colouring, and scattered the previous months worth of mags he had, around the outline, and waited by the window.

  Those two pioneers came around the corner of the house, stopped dead in their tracks, and ran, never to return again.

  He gets my vote!!!
• 

  troubled mind

  A couple of teens in our hall were known to say some off the wall things . The only one I can remember right now was.... " Hi ! We're from Publishers Clearing House this is your lucky day", then he would laugh and say " sorry not really , but now that I have your attention ....." At another door the Householder said " If your JW we are not interested ! " , His reply was "Wow it's a good thing we're Mormans ."