"This has come up before, and so far NO ONE has been able to offer a reasonable explanation for their statement that to DA is "following the WTS rules"
I agree its not an issue of playing by their "rules". It is however, playing their game. First, imagine the power trip it gives the BOE getting one of these letters. Look, we had so much control over so-and-so's life and are so powerful, that they actually feel the need to write a formal letter to us, "explaining" their reasons for leaving. Thats cool if the act of writing the letter is self-therapeutic, but I can pretty much guarantee, the BOE just skim these letters, avoiding all the "apostate" statements, write up the DF forms and promptly throw the letter in the garbage. All they are thinking at this point is "what a pitiful, misled apostate, cant wait til jehoobie smotes his/her sorry ass!", and thats that. Their entire power structure and control has just been reinforced.
As for the 'pros', sure, they will avoid you like the plague from that moment on, they will also likely begin a smear campaign which will affect remaining family members that you may still care about, regardless if they themselves are still in the borg.
The point is simple. Why needlessly bring this amount of 'drama' into your life if it can be avoided? Fading out is really the only route to take if you want to go "on your own terms". Why? Because the message the fader sends, silently, gracefully and without theatrics, is the following: "I dont care about this organization. You never owned me. I dont owe you the PLEASURE of a letter. I am going to live my life by my rules. You are so insignificant to me that I will not take the time or effort to bother sending you a letter or formally giving you a "reason" for my departure. I dont need to give you a reason".
Now, what are the "cons" of fading? Sure, there is no "formal" divorce. They may call you a couple times (however I have known people that have been fading for years whom have never once been contacted by JWs, in fact, that would be the majority of cases I am familiar with). Even so, there is something called "Call Display" which can very effectively handle this problem shoud it arise. OK, maybe you will run into some dubs out in public once in a blue moon. So what? Big dea, say "hi" and continue on your merry way. What the hell are they going to do? Force you to the KH at gun point??? I doubt it. The reality is, any power we think they have over us is 100% illusion. They are toilet scrubbers in suits. Nothing more, nothing less.
I would finally add, I have known several individuals who took the high drama route out of the borg and had to deal with devastating consequences, for themselves and families still inside. I have never known a fader to have experienced anything more unpleasent than dealing with an annoying elder once or twice on the phone or the odd awkard public encounter. Take your pick. The explosive power of "catharsis", while greatly tempting, contains an unknown quantity of emotional TNT.
