Disassociate or "Fade"

by done4good 33 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Finally-Free

  And therein lies the problem, because you only think you are putting them in their proper place. The words of an apostate mean absolutely nothing to a BOE. To them, you are nothing but a twisted, bitter apostate doing the work of satan. I think listening to the infamous recording of "sick of lies" BOE meeting said it all. The more insulting and beligerent SOL became, the more emboldened and empowered the "elders" became, as he fulfilled their expectations of the "evil apostate". Of course, this was SOLs intention to prove, and he did so brilliantly I might add. They feel "empowered" because A) the DA letter simply "confirms" all their theories about evil apostates and B) the DA letter is a representation of great effort on the part of the sender, affirming that yes, the BOE really does have enough power over the individuals life to warrant the production of a formal document.

  Kid, if you new anything at all about me you woudn't speak so stupidly. Is it possible that you actually read my posts and are still too stupid to comprehend them?

  I said the letter was for MY benefit, in case I should engage JWs in a court of law. What part of that simple statement are you too stupid to comprehend? Or are you, in typical JW fashion, ignoring what's inconvenient? Or even worse, by belittling the DA letter (without even reading its contents), are you attempting to justify your own reluctance to act decisively?

  No, I didn't care anything for the elders opinion of me. And don't make the mistake of thinking I care about yours either.

  I'm done with you.

  W
• 

  Arthur

  The point is simple. Why needlessly bring this amount of 'drama' into your life if it can be avoided? Fading out is really the only route to take if you want to go "on your own terms". Why? Because the message the fader sends, silently, gracefully and without theatrics, is the following: "I dont care about this organization. You never owned me. I dont owe you the PLEASURE of a letter. I am going to live my life by my rules. You are so insignificant to me that I will not take the time or effort to bother sending you a letter or formally giving you a "reason" for my departure. I dont need to give you a reason".

  I think that Kid-A made a good point. In my opinion, fading is a much better decision especially for those of us who have several family members in the org.
• 

  done4good

  I would have to agree Kid put it very nicely. I know in my situation, I don't have any real drama in my life now, so it is probably wise not to risk loosing that. My family members are at least aware of my differences with the org, but are not the types to go running to the elders with what they know. I also have a good friend still in the org, (Elder, at that), who also knows how I'm thinking these days. Although I don't associate with him much anymore, we still can have a friendly conversation from time to time. Who knows, maybe he'll come to HIS senses.

  j
• 

  misspeaches

  Here is another element you might consider.

  You say that you mostly care about your sister and keeping in contact with her? If you were to DA yourself the family may put pressure on her if she attempts to keep in contact with you. And if she has to resort to be sneaky about her association with you it could be quite stressful for her.

  Where if you remain as a fader then those pressures won't present themself.