Predicament and Question: An Ex's Friends

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Hi Everyone,

I am not sure how to handle this and don't want to do something rude, or stupid, or both.

I was seeing this guy (non-JW) for a few months. His friends are absolutely fabulous. :-) A few times I joked to his friends that if he and I did not work out could I still hang out with them. They always said yes.

Anyway, about a week and a half ago he and I went our separate ways. Of course I still want to be friends with his friends but he was pretty angry when he and I last talked so I have stayed out of the way and not pursued his friends. (I'd be glad to be his friend too, but he let his stupid pride get in the way of things and said all kinds of nasty things to me, so frankly at this point I'm not too keen on being around that kind of person/behavior.)

Within the last day or so I've gotten several phone calls and email messages from his friends... one from a guy friend of his, two from two girl friends...saying that they miss me and want to get together soon. One of the girls is going out for her birthday this Saturday and will call me to let me know when and where...

OK well he will most likely be there and while I have no problems seeing him, I have no idea how he feels. I don't want to make a big deal out of anything, but I also don't want to show up and have him be really angry or ruin everyone's good time because he doesn't want me there.

YUCK, I hate this whole topic already. Sorry for the nonsense. I guess I just have no idea how to handle this as dating was never a part of my "education" as a Witness.

Your opinions will be very much appreciated. Thanks for your time.

Confused Girl

OpenFireGlass

Well if it don't work out, you can always send me a PM....

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

OFG, you womanizer!!! Stop toying with me. I know you have the hots for Ms. Whip. And Crumpet. And about a hundred other beautiful women on this board.

OK but seriously, thanks for making me smile and blush, you flirt!

OpenFireGlass

I'm not womanizing... It's first come first serve.... and no one has been served yet

... But your right I'm still waiting to hear from Ms.Whip

What-A-Coincidence

Good girl. You seem to be considerate for others peoples feelings which is fantanstic.

There is nothing wrong with remaining friends with his friends but out of respect for feelings I would stay away from partys (god I almost said gatherings) knowing that he would be around.

As a GUY, I would never want to be in the room with my x-gf, for me it would be too painful. And also I would not want to befriend her friends because by being with them would remind me of her.

w-a-c "out of respect for other peoples feelings class"

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Thanks, WAC, I value your thoughts and opinions. You have very valid points and I appreciate your perspective as a guy. This definitely helps me to know what to do.

Appreciative Girl

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

OFG, you beautiful, naughty, nice man. Keep me in mind if Ms. Whip breaks your heart. Or if she doesn't.

Nowman

Been in this situation before except they did not speak to my ex-boyfriend anymore but I did feel bad for him. Yet, I made some lasting freindships with those people, you only live once. I say go for it if you enjoy being around them so much. If the ex is there, it may be tough, but eventually it won't be. If he makes a fool out of himself while your there, then let it be him not you. To me, he will just have to deal with it.

Nikki

Swan

I have to disagree. They like you and you like them. They say they miss you. So go ahead and meet up with his friends. If he has a problem with it, it is his problem, not yours, and not theirs. He needs to learn that he can't control what other people do, he can only be responsible for his own actions and reactions.

Our background raised us in an atmosphere of control freaks and humble servants. It sometimes goes against our nature to not give in to the control freaks, but we really do owe it to ourselves to grow up and move on. Your ex obviously needs to grow up too.

Tammy

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Ah, the opinions of the ladies; thanks Tammy and Nikki, you both sound like you truly know your stuff, and respect yourselves.

You are right, life is short, and I don't want to miss out on opportunities to know people and have them in my life.

I still think it's important to be respectful of others' feelings, not because I owe it to them but because I want to - but you are right that it's his problem and not mine and he can just get over it or not, but either way I'll let it be between him and his friends whatever he is feeling.

Predicament and Question: An Ex's Friends

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