THANKYOU ELSEWHERE! That is exactly what I did not want to happen to me! There are worse things in life than being childless------having your child hate you. Sad.
Should Jehovah's Witnesses Be Allowed to Adopt Children?
by TMS 49 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
sammielee24
Jeff - I agree with your explanation. I am still however perplexed over the lines of civil liberties and privilege and you are right, many people not just JW's, have equally tumultous lives for any number of reasons. I suppose to my way of thinking though, if I know beforehand the culture that I am putting a child in has at the very least a 50% chance of destroying that individual - I would still put the welfare of the child first. If as Anewme said, it is recognized that the environment may be toxic and stall tactics are used then I guess that's a legal way around the whole issue. The problem of adoption vs fostering has bothered me for as long as I can remember. Babies are a commodity - everyone wants one - but there are many kids in foster care that are sit there for years without family contact and can't be adopted because the parents won't sign over their parental rights. Don't get me wrong - I think there are good people everywhere and life is a crap shoot at best for most of us. We all don't come from Norman Rockwell families but if I can give a kid a chance at some of that life I would not hesitate to step on someone's liberties if that is what we deem adoption to be. I feel that although we are changing the rate of value we place on our children, we still at times view them as less than ourselves, therefore, if we infringe on what someone believes is their inherent right to adopt a child, we devalue the child by ignoring their right to be placed in as balanced an environment as possible. There are no guarantee's but all options must be waived. Anewme - you would have made a wonderful parent. I feel that for those of us not privileged enough to bear our own children, we can look outside ourselves and take on a closer relationship with young people around us, wether that be a niece or nephew, a young cousin, a stepchild, working with youths...any number of avenues remain open to us to share, educate, entertain, love, guide, cherish and assist children. Just as one of my beloved uncles was my inspiration - the greatest compliment that I ever received did not come from any man or woman in my life - it came from one of my nieces who embraced me and told me that I have been, still am and will always be her role model. sammieswife.
-
Gretchen956
I for one do know some good parents who are JWs. They sure as hell weren't mine and my experience was not the issue. The issue is saying that the religion is the basis for refusal. I happen to know some JWs who have NOT shunned their kids when they left, who take a more lenient view of some of the more hard core issues. One of them told me that (even though I wasn't their daughter by birth) they would talk to me anytime they wished and they didn't care if I am gay. Not everyone who goes to meetings and is active in fs is 100% behind the publishing company, but they do have their faith that some of it is true and feel that its as close as they personally can find.Would I limit those people, good parents, not narrow-minded, with adoption based on their religion? Absolutely not. Thats why it isn't the issue. The issue is, would they be good parents. And, I truly believe you can get to that without bringing up the religion. Too many other cults out there who have or will drink the kool-aid.
So the civil rights is, WHY are you denying them the right to be a parent? Because they are anal, fanatics, who would only do what the fds told them? The right questions get to that.
My opinion, of course, is like.... well you know, everyone has one...
Sherry
edited to add: I have barely had any sleep the last week so if this makes no kinda sense cut me some slack, huh?
-
SixofNine
I think I'd need to exercise wisdom a bit greater than Solomon's in such a case.
What I would want to know, before letting a child into a JW home, is whether or not it's a buyer's, or a seller's market for orphans. IOW, is the need for relatively stable families (even if JW) far greater than the supply of relatively stable families?
I think the answer would probably reveal itself that the danger of JWism outweighs the need for child placements, but the truth is, w/o research, I have no idea what the situation is for orphans.
Unfortunately, public policy is often just a series of deals with the devil.
-
XJW4EVR
I have looked throgh this thread,and since I am the adopted son of JWs I thought I would chime in. I was raised by pretty good parents. I was spanked, but I never had a mark on my body. I was socially, emotionaly, economically & educationally stunted. However, I was able to move myself past these impediments through my own hard work.
Based on thes facts, I would never agree that JWs should not be able to adopt children. However, the current events within the JWs should be taken into account by social workers re. pedofiles. The same can be said for Catholics trying to adopt. I believe that two people in a stable and loving relationship should be able to adopt regardless of sexual orientation, religion, race, or ethnic heritage. However, the best interests of the child must take precedence over the couple's desire to adopt.
-
wednesday
I am reading this and thinking that I certainly support civil rights for everyone--but after I read further, I realized that I guess I don't b/c I too would not allow couples from strict rigid known cults to adopt. Of course that is common sense and we know he died some time ago.
-
stillajwexelder
So adopted children may suffer trauma - then they choose NOT to follow their parents religion and get shunned - no, JWs should not be allowed toadopt until they stop that silly disfellowshipping practice
-
anewme
The agencies arent stupid. They know about the practices of JWs. They point blank asked my husband and me
1. How many church services do you attend a week?
2. How do you feel about birthdays and other important events in the child's life
3. What are your views on higher education?
4. How do you celebrate the holidays?
5. What would you do if your child needed a blood transfusion?
We had maybe 4 home visits like this with a representative who looked all about the property noting dangerous areas to a child and spent a couple of hours verbally interviewing us.
Three times, no kidding, she asked if we ate our pet chickens. Huh?
After that I realized we were doomed to fail and it was all a big waste of time. I walked her out to her car and called the office and quit the process. -
sass_my_frass
I am of the impression that in order to adopt, a person has to spend a few years signing forms, one of which would be about medical treatment and comfirming that they'd let the child have any treatment necessary in any circumstances. I think that is what precludes many witnesses from adopting.
-
anewme
After my sad experience with the system I ran into a sister who bragged about her two adopted sons who were now elders.
Curious, I asked her how the H did she and her husband adopt from the County when they so obviously abhor placing children in the homes of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Oh well, she said, we told them we were Protestants!