Three Days At The Convention...

by Justice-One 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • Justice-One
    Justice-One

    I'm back from sitting through three days of the most mind numbing dribble you can imagine. The worst part was looking around and watching as the good little automatons took it all in.

    The only fun I had was doing my "mission." As you might have read on my other thread "My Mission...Help Please," I had planned to plant as many "wake up and smell the coffee" flyers as possible. My friend in the military told me I should refer to this a a Force Recon Mission. All went well. I managed to plant two dozen flyers in several differant places, mostly in the mens room stalls. But I got to tell you, I think they were getting pissed by Sunday. I had been going back to this same stall over and over, and on Sunday morning I reconed the area and went in. As I was standing there, this little voice said - "Not now, this does not feel right." So I took a leak, and opened the door. Standing right there was the mens room attendant with rubber gloves on. He rushed right in behind me, looked around and then came right out. BTW, the best one I did was in that very stall. You know those advertisements they have in most stalls? I managed to get my Bio down behind the glass. It stayed there almost a half a day before they got it out.

    You know, I may not have been the baddest "Apostate" at the convention. But the baddest called me right before it started...he wanted to make sure we were still friends.

    One more note - After each "recon" I would sit in my seat and listen to "Damm It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta" on my mp3 player.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge
    After each "recon" I would sit in my seat and listen to "Damm It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta" on my mp3 player

    btw.... I hear he CIA is hiring.

  • Justice-One
    Justice-One

    btw.... I hear the CIA is hiring.

    I thought they were already full up with pretend JW's. - But there is always the NSA.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Sweet!

  • Sailor Ripley
    Sailor Ripley

    Good Job! As I said before, the guys/gals outside telling of the "truth" is what got me to thinking that something wasn't right. Hopefully you reached some poor kid who is ready to bolt too.

    .mp3? Man how awesome is that idea?!? I have 12,000 songs, 34 days worth. I could go to a couple of Conventions. I would carry one of those old beater tape recorders so that people would think that I was recording to listen later... yeah, supposing I needed an emetic.

    Again, great work. By the way, did you ever post your final edit? I used yours for another post where someone was considering going back JW full-force.

  • Kudra
    Kudra

    Job well done soldier!!!
    Can you post the final editions of your flyers? How many different kinds did you make.
    Not to rain on your parade, but I think if any of us told the CIA we were running around playing minds games in the restrooms of some obscure cult, with the "dangerous opposition" consisting of 23-yr old janitors and window washers they'd put us away!!!!
    -K

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    The hit-and-run-poop-poster struck again! Who was that masked poster?

  • Justice-One
    Justice-One

    And here is another "What the F%$#" moment.....

    According to the speaker at the convention, if you cannot overcome your addiction to pornography, "drastic action may be needed." He ended his talk with these words - "Jehovah says in Matthew 5:29 If, now, that right eye of yours is making you stumble, tear it out and throw it away from you." Those were his closing words.

    I was surprised I did not see a lot of one eyed people walking around afterward.

  • Justice-One
    Justice-One
    Again, great work. By the way, did you ever post your final edit? I used yours for another post where someone was considering going back JW full-force.

    I think so. But I will go back and repost what I finally went with. But I think the suggestion to use my Bio may have been a really good one. It is so funny that it kind of tricks you into reading it. LOL.

  • Justice-One
    Justice-One

    Below is what I went with -

    The details of my life are quite inconsequential. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium, who was a Jehovah Witness. He had low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. She was studying to be a Witness when they married. She already had two bastard sons and they had webbed feet also, along with a very limited IQ. I never was able to see eye to eye with them, as they never matured. - Or grew taller than 4 feet. They also suffered from an extremely bad body odor. (They grew up to become Elders in the local congregation.) When my father was not going door to door, he would womanize, he would drink, and he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possesses and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets and attend District Conventions. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really, this was taught by the Witnesses, as a way to prepare the young for the way the world would treat them. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

    If you are not afraid to find out the truth about Jehovah’s Witnesses, please check out this site… www.jwinfo.8m.com

    AND......

    SOME THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

    • What is wrong with getting an education?
    • Is an education a bad thing? Why?
    • Why are you not supposed to think for yourself, or ask “hard” questions?
    • Have you heard of the book 1984? You may be living in an “Orwellian World.”
    • Does the society fear the Internet because the real “truth” can be found there?
    • If smoking is bad because you are “defiling” your body – what about obesity?
    • Did you know that the “society” now says “blood fractions” are a conscious matter?
    • How many needlessly died before this “new light” came to be?
    • How many families and lives have the Witnesses ruined?
    • Why so many rules, and the need to spy on your friends?
    • How old is the “generation” of 1914 getting? (Are any really still alive?)
    • Remember 1975, and all the other years the Governing Body put forth as “the end?”
    • Is the governing body inspired? One year they are, the next their not. – They aren’t.
    • Do you serve God or an organization run by man?
    • Do some research on the NWT; see how the real meaning was changed on certain things.
    • What if it’s NOT the “truth?”
    • If it’s not the truth, are you wasting your life?

    And he said, "Take heed that you are not led astray; for many will come in my name, saying, 'I am he!' and, 'The time is at hand!' Do not go after them. Luke 21:8

    Are you doing this?" Have you been told, “Your deliverance is at hand?” Or maybe “the end” is so close you could “touch it with your tongue?” How many times have you heard this? – Do the years 1874, 1914, 1915, 1925, 1935, and 1975 come to mind? They should. These are the years when we were told the end would come.

    I was a loyal witness for more than 47 years before I came to realize they did not have “the truth.” I hope it does not take you that long. Mine was a wasted life. And a wasted life is a terrible thing.

    Hallowed be the Ori

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