I've always found it interesting that the R&F is required to be forgiving even without an apology, but for the Society to forgive there must be "heart-felt repentance".Any question about who is supposed to be humble here?
I think you have just pointed out another method of mind control on the part of the society.You are NOT to have feelings or thoughts other than what they say you should..Plus it helps to keep the masses under control so they don't have to deal with personality conflicts and other matters of that kind.If you on the other hand do something against the society, it is a big deal to them as they don't want to lose control.