Anyone with older kids at home (18 +) what are your cleaning rules?

restrangled

Am at my wits end with my boys' bathroom, bedrooms, laundry and kitchen habits. Before I give them the big rant tomorrow, I'd like to find out what everyone here expects out of their little darlings.

Thanks,

R.

HadEnuf

You mean you didn't strangle them at birth?

Seriously...I had two boys who lived here for a while after turning 18. They kept things "within reason"...but when it got too bad I just went ballistic on them and when they feared for their safety...they cleaned things up. Threats of kicking them out did no good because they knew I was too big of a softy to do that.

I am glad they're gone. I miss them but not the mess.

Lady Lee

bathroom, bedrooms, laundry and kitchen habits.

Mine are long gone but I remember this battle

My daughters had to do their own laundry. If they didn't have anything clean it was their problem.

They were responsible to clean their rooms (I gave up this battle and let them live like little slobs) If they had nothing to wear because it was all covering th efloor too bad. Not my problem.

They were responsible for picking up their things around the house. If they left something of their in the shared areas of the house I would throw it out. The assumption was that if they couldn't keep it in their room it meant they didn't want it.

They had assigned chores, dishes wash or dry and at one point it was on a rotation basis so some would get a day off while others worked

Same deal with the bathroom. If they left things on the floor - poof it was gone.

I was also not on call to cook for them whenever they walked in the door. If they missed a meal they were on their own. If there was leftover they could warm it up but I wasn't cooking again. And they had to clean up after themselves.

If they were in school they didn't pay rent. But if they were working they had to pay rent.

When they complained too much I showed them the door and let them know they were free to use it at any time

Big Tex

Mine are 10 (boy) and 12 (girl).

Last year our son was responsible for cleaning up the kitchen every day after school and after homework (which included emptying the dishwasher, loading it and then wiping all the counters) and our daughter was responsible for doing all laundry, folding and then putting the clothes away. This was in addition to making their beds, cleaning their rooms and bringing dirty clothes downstairs.

This year we switched jobs so that our son is in charge of laundry and our daughter is in charge of the kitchen.

This summer we added weekly chores: Jennie was in charge of cleaning bathrooms and Jackson was in charge of polishing furniture. When they do their jobs well and correctly they earn points, and when they don't, points are not only not added but will be deducted from what they've already earned. Points are also deducted when they fight or argue. They can use whatever points they earn for a treat.

When they've complained (and they have many times) Nina and I pointed out that it's our job to teach them how to be adults. Part of that responsibility means learning how to do basic daily maintenance. It's not fun, it's not pleasant but it's necessary. We've also pointed out that their chores take 10 or 15 minutes a day.

Mommy and Daddy won't always be there to clean their clothes, wipe out the their toilet and clean up their dirty plates. One day they're going to go off to college and then get their own apartment. They'll need to know how to take care of themselves.

Chris

Gill

What!!! You mean they actually get to leave one day!!!! There's hope then.

My son (20) does absolutely NOTHING. The only thing I do for him, is wash any clothes that he's condescended to put in the washing basket. I make dinner for all of us. If he's here he'll have his, if not....tough! He will help with NOTHING, and refuses to do anything. He's broke and useless. Someone tell me he's going to move out soon....please!

My daughter (21) get's the same done for her, but will also clean up and help with nothing at all, except watch the younger ones .... sometimes.... if we get lucky.

After all this time....it's no longer worth the argument.

HOWEVER....the younger ones help all of the time. The twins shop, dry up, tidy up, garden, keep their younger sister occupied by arguing with her !

They even tidy their rooms. They are a great deal of help.

Little one, also helps with drying up, beating up her older brothers and helping with shopping.

Sometimes, you get to the point with the over 18s where you KNOW they should not be living with you anymore, and that they should start suffering for their own laziness and stupidity. The time has arrived....but how do you throw them out when they have squandered everything they've ever had and refuse to stand on their own two feet!

serendipity

My approach is similar to Lee's, though my daughter is only 17. She's left her stuff laying around, and I hold things for ransom: she has to perform extra chores to get back the discman, ipod, etc.

When she is 18, we'll renegotiate our cleaning deal. If she doesn't live up to it, then I'm hiring maid service and my daughter will be responsible for half the cost.

candidlynuts

threaten to charge them rent and maid service fees if they dont step up and start living like adults.

blondie

I think BigTex and cruzanheart have the right idea....start training them young. But it is never too late. Eventually, they will move out and be pigs with one or more of their peers. I had to teach a roommate how to do laundry and how to clean. I used to take all her stuff in the common areas and put it on her bed. Thank god we had separate bathrooms. There is a lot to be said for closing doors.

I vote for charging 18+ children living at home for rent and maid service.

Blondie

restrangled

I so appreciate everyone's input. Thanks for letting me vent.

There are many suggestions I will institute. Some I can't. Charging rent in this day and age at minimum wage while they are in school is pretty impossible. They can rarely keep their gas tanks full going back and forth to school and work. We are usually contributing a $20 during the week to both fellas.

On the other hand they can be contributing much more around here.

I am getting way to old and tired to keep up this pace with both of them back at home......HEY! WASN'T I SUPPOSE TO BE RETIRED BY NOW AS A FULL TIME MOM? :)!

A hug to each of you for your responses.

R.

RichieRich

Well, in my little slice of heaven, i feel like my roomate is my child.

Our arrangement is that he pays 60% of the rent, I pay 40%, and clean. He is responsible for the stuff he uses (his bedrrom, his bathroom) but I keep the floors vacuumed, kitchen and dishes clean, furniture dusted et cetera.

Its kind of funny, our friends talk like we are husband and wife... I'm the wife. But its cool, its worth the 50 bucks a month!!

Anyone with older kids at home (18 +) what are your cleaning rules?

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