Anyone with older kids at home (18 +) what are your cleaning rules?

by restrangled 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • noni1974
    noni1974

    Well my family was a little diffrant then most as my Mom is in a wheelchair.She can walk but not stand for a long time.So as the oldest daughter I was in charge of the cooking cleaning and laundery for a family of 5 starting at the age of 12 or 13.I was in 7th grade and I would come home clean the living room and the kitchen then wash any clothes we needed for thr next day.Then clean the bathroom.Then do my homework.I have a younger sister and an older brother.But most of the chores fell on me.

    I started working a part time job at 14 only in the summer.I still had to do all the cooking and clean the kitchen and wash my own clothes.Bye this time my little sister had been made to help around the house more.My brother had quit school and started working full time.He spent most of his time at my uncles house becaue he worked at night for him cleaning stores floors.As you can imagin I spent a lot of time cleaning and cooking and working.I was charged rent.I think it was around 20.00 a week to live there.But I still had all the chores.I was only makeing 3.75 an hour at the time and only worked 20 hours or less at my job.So 20.00 was a lot of money.That was the first year I had new clothes to wear to school becaue I bought them.

    At 18 I got a seddlment for a car accedent I was in at 14 were I hurt my back.I was forced to give my Mom $1200.00 of it because she had taken me to the doctor and paid for the perscriptions.Both of which were covered under the family health insurance.

    I graduated from high school.Then I got a full time job and paid rent and still did the chores for the family.I moved out at 19.I was on my own for about 6 months when I had an accident at work that caused me to be off work for about 8 weeks.I lost my apartment and had to move back home.

    This time I refused to work like a slave for my family.I went back to work but I quit soon after.I found another job.I was working again full time.I paid 1/3 of my pay check to my parents for rent.I worked I did some chores and kept my own room clean.And I was still attending 5 meeting a week and field service at least twice a month.

    I moved out again when I was 22 or 23.My roommate at the time moved in with her boyfriend and I had no choice but to move back in with my parents.This time was when I DA ed.My Mom told me I couldn't move in unless I went back to the meetings.I told her no and she went to the elders.I wrote my letter the next day.I was allowed to move back in but I spent most of the time at my old roomates house because of the stress.I only slept there occasionaly and I ate no meals there.I still paid rent.But I only took care of my stuff and I cleaned the bathroom because no one eles ever did.I lived this way for about three years.

    I moved out the finnaly for good when I was 26.I'm now 31 almost 32.I can cook clean and take care of my own things.I bought every thing I have because after I had my first job my parents stopped buying me clothes and things like that.

    I wanted a TV for my room.I bought it myself.I wanted a new bed I bought it myself.What ever it was I did it myself.I have come to reliase as much as I hated it when growing up I learned to care for myself and my stuff.Because mommy and daddy won't replace it for me.I earned the money to buy it myself and if I wanted it to last I had to take care of it.I learned to cook and clean.I learned to care for my house.

    I share this story with you so you can tell your kids how good they really have it.I wish I had a Mom who cooked and cleaned for me.I wish all I had to worry about was going to school to educate myself.I hope your kids appreciate what you do for them.

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious

    I know what I was expected. I cleaned the downstairs bathroom, dusted downstairs, took out the garbages, made my bed, all laundry was to be in the hamper, dishes were to be rinsed and in the dishwasher or soaking in the sink if they were the non dishwasher kind.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Noni's story brought back some memories. I'm glad my parents taught me responsibility, but the standards were higher for me than for my sister and brother. I think parents need to be careful to avoid the appearance of favoritism.

    Since I was the oldest, the bulk of chores fell to me until I started working at 15. With my paltry wages, I was expected to pay for clothes, entertainment, makeup, school lunches, doctor's bills. I didn't think much about it, though I thought making me pay for lunch and doctor's bills a bit excessive, because my parents weren't poor.

    My brother and sister didn't get jobs until they were 18. They both got a lot more stuff. My brother got nicer clothes, his car was purchased for him, he was involved in extracurricular activities at school, etc. My sister actually resented my mother and brother for this for quite a while.

  • vitty
    vitty

    Has he got a girlfriend ?......................I know when my son has invited her round cos he starts cleaning up

    But usually his room is an average mess. I only wash the clothes he puts outside his door and I very rarely tidy his room. I tried to get him to clean HIS bathroom and the sitting room he has upstairs but it never gets done, so I generally do it.

    Sometimes I get really mad, but most of the time I feel its not worth all that anger and effort.

    I make him fill the dish washer, after our evening meal. But I clean the kitchen, I dont trust him with the dishcloth, wed all end up with salmonella or something horrid

    I know ive got at least 3 more years with him here, maybe more. At one point it got really bad but ive realized, its only the mums who end up being frustrated, so I just "try" to ignore the mess as much as I can.

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