All my dad wanted in life was to have the perfect JW family... Instead he got a couple of faders, a child that ended up in gaol, a few children that have been disfellowshipped a number of times... I feel really sad for him! He wonders where he went wrong!
Did you have the perfect JW family?
by misspeaches 24 Replies latest jw experiences
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oldflame
Are you kidding ? Lets see my JW mother and her dickhead husband was baptised in 1975, in 1978 and 1979 I smoked pot with them both, all the while my mother was having lesbian sex with her niece. She lies so bad and so much it's pathetic. Gossiper to the extreme and about the most unloving person I have ever met. Now with that just being a drop in the bucket they have never been disfellowshipped. They have gotten away clean from their actions but man if the shoe is on the other foot they will make damn sure that if someone else screws up they run to the elders and snitch. What a lovely freakin family I got in the jehooberism faith. They make me sick and I do not have anything to do with them.
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bem
Sammielee24 Your words truly hit home for me, I can say my family was pretty much this way too.
We did not take vacations except to attend DC's. All of our discussions revolved around the 'truth'. We moved to 'where the need was greatest'. Kids were home schooled to remain strong in the 'truth'. Every moment of every day was given over to what I believed was the 'truth' thus when I left I was destroyed by my entire family. Realizing that the 'truth' is not the 'truth' and nothing more than a lie based on a thousand lies and callous manipulation was devastating. Realizing that you gave your life up for nothing was devastating. Realizing that you had the perfect family only as long as you held the illusion was devastating. Realizing that you raised your kids believing in the same 'truth' and that by doing so you might have ruined their chances of having a semblance of a normal life is devastating. I had what appeared to be the perfect family - I actually didn't. I'm far happier now but not without anger at being misled and not without some bitterness of a life filled with lost opportunity. Those feelings don't rule my life - but they do well up in me from time to time....
It was after we moved that things went spiralling out of control, was for the best now I know that and I am happy to say my kids are all out too. we were the first generation well I and my ex-hubby and then we were faithfully teaching the kids. So I didn't lose my blood family, but we lost some folks in the truth <their trade name not mine) people that we cared very deeply for.
The original congo we attended was full of perfect dubs so it seemed! have seen since then thats not actually how they were. The most recent congo,,, was full of snakes and vipers , and I couldn't be happier they helped me see the real "light"
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SirNose586
Are you kidding ? Lets see my JW mother and her dickhead husband was baptised in 1975, in 1978 and 1979 I smoked pot with them both, all the while my mother was having lesbian sex with her niece. She lies so bad and so much it's pathetic. Gossiper to the extreme and about the most unloving person I have ever met. Now with that just being a drop in the bucket they have never been disfellowshipped. They have gotten away clean from their actions but man if the shoe is on the other foot they will make damn sure that if someone else screws up they run to the elders and snitch. What a lovely freakin family I got in the jehooberism faith. They make me sick and I do not have anything to do with them.
Wow oldflame, your story sounds straight out of a Jerry Springer episode! It never ceases to amaze me how well dubs are trained in hiding how they really are. Maybe because we all get such good practice...
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moshe
I tried but failed in most areas of JW life- never could do the daily text, family study of the WT? I could count on one hand how often I did that. Home Bible reading- no to that,too. I imagine a lot of brothers slid the same way that I did. I did the minimum on field service and faked half of what I place,too.
No problems being Jewish- we go to temple for Friday evening services about once a month. Saturday morning services, if we are invited to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Rosh Hashanah (New Years) with 2 festive meals and Yom Kippur- fasting for 24hours- 4 days worth of services, total. Then it's, Sukkot, then -Hanukkah- 8 nights of fun ,Purim- feasting and drinking, Passover - 2 festive meals and 8 days of no pizza, pasta, bread-and everything yummy. Oh, we light candles and do Sabbath blessings every Friday night in our home. I left out a lot of other holidays more observant Jews would celebrate. The main thing I appreciate is a good family get together,great food and a glass or two of wine.
peace,
Moshe
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misanthropic
All my dad wanted in life was to have the perfect JW family.
I feel really sad for him! He wonders where he went wrong!
Same here except for the circumstances. My dad was an elder and my parents tried to have the perfect JW family; it just didn't work out that way.
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sammielee24
Oh my goodness SammieLee! Your world must have come crashing down around you big time!
Lets just say shunning = dead. Buried. Cremated. When you grow up in the 'truth' with absolutely no infiltration of any other people except Witnesses, the job has been well done. Only one time can I recall actually being able to watch cartoons at home as a kid on a Saturday morning and that was so nice - every Saturday as far back as I recall (before first grade), it was get dressed, some sisters would pick us up and we would be out in service for hours. It never varied. You did not talk back. You did not fidget. You did not socialize. Every summer vacation was spent in service full time. The long term damage done to a child raised in a cult is enormous but you don't see it until you are out. The tragedy of disfellowshipping is tenfold because once you are out, not only are you truly alone without any skills of any kind, but you are forced to look at your life, your family, your friends and your faith and any one of the realizations you have to accept can destroy you. So many people cannot understand the impact of being in a cult and then being out - and for those of us born into it, surrounded by it, breathing it in and living it - the outcome can be tragic as the number of breakdowns and suicides can attest. Our lives were decided for us - we never had a choice. The greatest tragedy of all comes to roost when you have to look in the mirror and admit you were conned - that everything your were, that you are, is only based on your inclusion in the cult. It is not about God, it was always about the Watchtower but you don't see that while you're caught up in it. I may have parents, siblings and children somewhere on paper, but they are not my family.
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crazyblondeb
To the congregation, we had it all for awhile. Dad (stepdad) was a MS, mom had 5 kids at home. We went out in service every weekend. I went during the summer. He was a carpenter, and we all worked at the janitorial service we owned. Behind close doors, he molested me, my parents fought like cats and dogs, even had seperate bedrooms. Mom suffered from clinical depression. I raised my sisters and brother. After I got baptized I got tired of it all. Started making the elder's work for their titles. After getting sick and tired of elder's meetings, (My stepdad went running to the elders every time I sneezed wrong, instead of acting like a parent.) and being molested I ran away and went to my dad's in Texas.
Now, all of us kids are out. My stepdad got "intentionally DF'd" when he married his 3rd wife. He got reinstated of course. My mom is still in, after being DF'd once for adultery. I could go on, I think our pic is next to dysfunction, along with all of yours.
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Nowman
People in our KH had the perception we had the perfect family, but behind closed doors it was different. Dad was an elder, mom a pioneer, me a pioneer. As I got older though, people started in the hall started to realize that I was probably going to leave the org eventually strictly because of my parents. People would offer to take me away for the weekends to catch a break. Little did they know, their thinking was correct. I was tired of being abused.
Nikki
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foundfreedom
My family seemed like a perfect family also, my dad was an elder and my mom a regular pioneer. But it wasnt all roses like everyone thought, I was molested by an uncle at the age of 4 or 5. I am 42 now and it only came to light about the molesting a year ago, my husband blerted it out to my dad that his brother molested me and my dad took it to the elders even though this uncle of mine was his closest brother. The elders told him that I couldnt take this to the law because it was so long ago but that he could never be an elder again. They then told me to keep it quite and not let the cong. know about this and not to let it show that he was caught. They said that they couldnt do anything to him except take his privleges away (being an elder) because he wasnt baptised yet and was only 16 at the time! So he couldnt be held accountable!!
I finally saw what they really are and left and havent looked back!