Winston
Jesus said the kingdom is within us. So you already have it hidden within you, you only have to find it. It can be a lonely road, but many have done it. The book mysticism by evelyn underhill is a study of some that have. It's a hundred years old book, not just about catholics. Actually, many who find this internal divine quality rise above religiosity. Often they come into trouble with the group they may have started with. It is an individual trip between what you presently consider yourself to be, your internal self and whatever god is; jesus, if you want. Whatever god is, is not offended by your efforts, even if they are in a wrong direction. It (god) will gently direct you to where you should go. Have no fear.
S