Elders Are Closing In....

daniel-p

Well, it's been about 6 months or so since I've turned in a time report and things are heating up a bit. I still attend the meetings with my wife - I am still "visible" - but I have not gone out in service for a conspicuous amount of time. Just this afternoon the PO called and wanted to meet with me. My initial reaction was one of panic... I just don't know how to keep them off my tail without stirring up suspicion of apostacy. For those who don't know, I am trying to take the fade route, since I have family and friends I do not wish to lose.

So, does anyone have advice? What do I tell the elders? I am trying to avoid contact altogether, avoiding them at meetings, etc, but something in me says I can't play this game forever. You see, I am highly idealistic and passionate about what I believe or don't believe, and I'm not sure how long I can hold out with this silly little game we all have to play in order to retain some normalcy. How do you do it?

KW13

why not say your depressed?

undercover

I've been incredibly lucky I suppose...

When I first started missing a lot of meetings, I had a couple of sheparding calls. At the time I truly wasn't sure what I thought or believed anymore. I was willing to listen to the elders to see if they could overcome some questions and doubts that I had. After a couple of visits and without them being able to answer my questions, I saw that my doubts were not unfounded and they pretty much gave up when I kept pressing the issue. I stuck to one or two subjects and didn't allow them to jump around on me. I wanted answers to my questions, not counsel on missing meetings.

I say I'm lucky because I've read a ton of other experiences on this board where elders hounded the hell out of people and made issues out of every little thing.

It would depend on just how gung-ho your elders are and how far they're willing to go to get to the bottom of things. I think my elders were a little lazy and knew that if they pressed the matter it meant more work for them and it was easier to just let it go until a time if and when I posed a real threat to them. Since I opted for the laying low and staying out of sight, they've pretty much forgotten about me.

Finally-Free

I didn't successfully fade. I tried it for a few months, but I don't have that kind of patience.

I don't see how fading is possible when still attending meetings, or even living in an area where you are known by JWs.

W

Wordly Andre

Tell them your a Jedi Master

sir82

Well, it's been about 6 months or so since I've turned in a time report

Well, there's why. You've now appeared as an "inactive".

How to respond depends on what you want to do. Surely you can come up with an hour or 2 per month that you have "informally witnessed", so that you no longer appear as inactive.

Medical issues and/or depression usually seems to work. Elders are utterly unprepared for that, and the fear of having a grown man break down in tears and sharing "intimate personal thoughts" during a shepherding call should be enough to send all but the most persistent elders scurrying.

lost_light06

I haven't been out in FS for 2 years now and I haven't received 1 sheperding call or inquiry as to why. Guess my elders don't care about me. boo freakin hoo.

I would say as little as possible. Tell them you have been overloaded with work or family issues. They will probably read you a bunch of scriptures about why preaching is a christian responsibility yadda yadda yadda. Just smile and nod. Tell them you'll pray about it and wave goodbye as they drive away.

daniel-p

Tell them your a Jedi Master

Thanks Worldy Andre, that's the hardest laugh I've had in a while. Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses.. keep em coming!

Mig

While I was fading, I would say to whoever asked, that I notice that I was doing things out of habit (meetings and field service) and that I know Jehovah does not want that kind of service. I said that I wanted to stop doing things out of habit and reexamine my relationship with Jehovah. So far it has worked, I have not attended the meetings or gone out in field service for 5 years now. Still examining.

thepackage

Tell them you are depressed and experiencing anxiety attaches.

Elders Are Closing In....

Share this