Questions....

schne_belly

Well It’s been well over a year now that I’ve stepped foot into a Kindgom hall. It was a rough start with many mixed emotions that I know many of you can relate to.

Over the past year I’ve learned so much about myself and others. I can say most days I’m truly happy with life, and that feels so good. I’ve finally discovered who I am…..

I get outraged by the hurt and pain I feel for being lied to for so many years. To see what I missed out on during my youth. To know I could have & should have stood up for myself more. To see that people whom I thought were friends, really weren't. I know I’m putting my JW parents though hell with the elders, since they are trying to persuade them to cut ties with me and my husband.( Even though they are ignoring thier counsel and thinking on their own)

Some days I don’t care, I put it all behind me and move on. I'm too good for this crap! Then something will come up, I will run into a JW, or hear about a comment one made to my parents.All the feelings will storm back. It angers me even more that they have once again, gotten to me.

How do I proceed without letting them win, without letting them enrage me every few weeks/months and bring up old pains. Will my family and I ever 100% get over it? Is this even possible with some of our family members still stuck in this religion?

Bryan

As long as you have family "in", you never "get over it".

Bryan

Of the "Being Shunned By Beautiful 21 Year Old Daughter Class".

AuldSoul

How do I proceed without letting them win, without letting them enrage me every few weeks/months and bring up old pains. Will my family and I ever 100% get over it? Is this even possible with some of our family members still stuck in this religion?

SAME thing I have been wondering. Schne-belly, if this WTS beast didn't have so many of my family members trapped in its maw I could move on. I would feel sorry for all the others still trapped, but honestly I care most for my family. When the religion has its reset button pushed everyone currently trapped will get to choose again. Until then, I will be pained by its existence simply because I do not want to emotionally cut off my family.

Hopefully, someone can answer it for us.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

Crumpet

That is how I feel Bryan.

BizzyBee

Wish I could say yes. The truth is, those early years are some of the most important, when important life-choices are made, and opinions and world-view begin to be established, and life-time relationships formed. There is so much context for making decisions through the JW filter, and very little for making decisions with a new mind-set. I know because I left at 23. I married at nearly 25, but it was more of a back-lash to leaving the org, than an intelligently informed decision. Then the domino effect begins. I was alone out of all my family as an ex-witness for nearly 10 years. No internet then, either. Then other family members began to come out, too. It's early days, Schne. Who know how your circumstances will play out? I can safely say you have many surprises in store - some good, some bad. But one good thing - you have an international support group here. And what seems to be a good head on your shoulders.

The Bee

freedomlover

Oh my schne - good question.

I had the same experience this week. I have a jw friend who is going through some really bad marriage problems and he is toying with the idea that he may not be a witness (he's seeing the hypocrisy) anyhow - my name came up during one of his judicial meetings. his friendship with me is being used against him. The allegations they made about me were totally untrue and hurtful. It just made my anger and hurt flare back up all over again.......

I don't really have an answer to your question. I agree with Auldsoul that as long as our loved ones are in we will flare ups. I seem to get over the flare ups faster and gentler now a days though. I do have hope that one day I will hear things about me and they will just float right over me and not cause a reaction - I look forward to that day.

meditation has helped my level or anger and frustration also. do it a little bit everyday and just concentrate of a mantra of "calm" or "still" or "gratitude" and BREATHE!

works for me.

schne_belly

I think in some ways it's even harder now than it was when I first left. I now KNOW how horrible this religion is. I KNOW how good people "on the other side" are, and what happiness and freedom is and how good it feels!

Once I think I've made it and let it all go...... I am reminded of everything again. I finally find happiness and then they disrupt it! I hate the anger and hate I feel.....I should be stronger than this.

Nowman

Oh, the shunning thing and how it angers me too. To me, those that are JWs in your family, or your former JW friends....they really think they have the truth, they really feel they are doing the right thing, you can only hope they come to their senses. My mom finally did after 8 years of mot seeing her, but father is still a strong JW elder, and I have not seen or talked to him on 14 years. I was their only child. It hurts. But, he is missing out on so much, he has two grand kids, and soon to be a third. Hes the one missing out, not me. If only he could see how happy I was. Hes never met my husband either. He doesn't even know me anymore. Its his problem, not mine. It just takes time.

Nikki

AuldSoul

I should be stronger than this.

Are you saying you should be able to pretend you don't love those you love simply because they are retarded in their love by organizational dogma? I don't see how pretending we don't love people is strength. I'd say it takes more strength to acknowledge and endure the pain their choice causes us than it does to pretend the pain isn't there.

Just my two pfennings.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

schne_belly

But, he is missing out on so much, he has two grand kids, and soon to be a third. Hes the one missing out, not me. If only he could see how happy I was. Hes never met my husband either. He doesn't even know me anymore. Its his problem, not mine. It just takes time .

Nowman.... GREAT attitude! How sad though, your dad is truly missing out!!! I hope that he, like your mom, someday will see the light!

Questions....

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