Regrets of Being Brought up as a Witness

by chuckie77 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  misspeaches

  You know when I first joined up here one of my first posts was about how much it hurt growing up as a JW kid. The emotional strain poor innocent children are put through is crazy.

  Your youth is meant to the be the happiest carefree time of your life. Instead your trapped in an institution that has all these older brother and sister authority figures (excess to your actual parents) watching your every move. Ensuring that you adhere to a magnitude of strict and unreasonable rules/guidelines.

  I can't wait to have kids and give them a childhood that they will just cherish.

  I don't think I will ever get over some of the things I went through as a little witness kid.

  But its good that you posted this chuckie. I think you'll find it very therapuetic to share your feelings with those who understand.
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  blondie

  I realize that some abusive things in my family would not have disappeared if they had not been JWs, in fact some would have been worse. Missing holidays is a small thing compared to physical, sexual, emotional, verbal and spiritual abuse on a daily basis.

  If you are in your late teens or early 20's and have left, count yourself fortunate that you saw the light so soon. But it is never too late to start anew even if you are in your 50's or 60's (or 70's).

  Rather than spend the rest of your life feeling bad about the late start on some things, realize that it is only too late when you are dead.

  Blondie
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  Dagney

  I echo the thoughts of those here, if you have the courage to make the break when you are young, the happier you will be.

  "Regrets...I've had a few" also. I was raised VERY strictly, three scripture sermons presenting the Babylon book when I was 5, in the TMS at the same time (how cute...NOT). I realize now I was too intimidated to follow my heart as I grew older...that "New World carrot" along with the fear of Armageddon did a number on me.

  I don't want to feel regretful, but the fact is I do at times, and it is probably mixed with some anger, and it is for the wasted years. I'm not dead yet...of course...there is plenty of life left to live But there is no reason on God's green earth we shouldn't explore life to the fullest, learn the lessons as they come...and stand before our judge on the day with the glowing feeling that "I did it MY way." The anger is lesser and lesser as time goes on, and I work at that. But the freedom of worship, being able to question whatever you want...not being judged by the hours on your report slip makes it easier and easier.

  I wish you strength for the journey.
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  Warlock

  Chuckie,

  So tell me, when you were a kid, what were you supposed to do? Just what you did. You knew no other way.

  I was brought up a Catholic, and I hated church and Sunday School, but what was I to do? I had to follow my parents guidance. As I got older, I stopped going, but I'm glad my mom was not a strong Catholic.

  Look, don't beat yourself over it. You are making your own decisions now.

  Warlock
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  ex-perfectdaughter

  Remember all the fucking spankings at the KH? I would get them in the bathroom just for saying I had to "go" but didn't really, just to stretch my legs!! All the other kids getting spankings and you could hear it in the auditorium. HORRIBLE!!

  My mom did what she thought was right by me no more no less but I do feel robbed of a normal childhood. I got a lump in my throat when I read about feeling like you're always dreading something.

  The first day of school....what did you do this summer?? ummmm assembly??

  November .......halloween ......did you go trick or treating?? ummmm no

  December ...... that whole month was a nightmare for a JW kid

  Feb.........remember Valentines day...everyone having a little handmade mailbox for valentines except for you?

  March/April........easter.....had to sit in the library, by myself, while all the other kids had a fun party

  Then Summer break.......BORED TO DEATH.

  No more dreading anything in my life. Everyday is a celebration!!!
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  truthsetsonefree

  Amen.
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  DJK

  I remember at age 4 having my pants dropped anywhere at the KH and getting my butt swatted because I wasn't paying attention. Then at home it was the strap, it's lash so severe the I couldn't control my urine. This happened every Thursday night and Sunday morning for years. Punished twice for the same thing and being punished for things I didn't do is highly practiced for JWs because it proves they love thier children. You are right when you say you can hear others getting spanked. I knew of one youngster whose father pulled his belt out at the KH and used it across his back. Other JW adults thought it was amusing.
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  Junction-Guy

  Thanks for bringing this topic back up. I too have many regrets. I feel I was robbed of a normal childhood, not only that but some of the long lasting effects I suffered even after leaving the JW's. Well I plan to turn the table real soon, and let people know just how destructive this cult is on the minds of children.