I’m sad to report that my Best Friend (who is on this message board) has given into pressure from his wife and has started going back to meetings. I know he’ll be reading this so, what advise do you have?
Dead Man Walking (Help!)
by thepackage 18 Replies latest jw friends
-
Double Edge
Well, I've never been a dub, so my advice is a little "suspect".... but I would:1. make her happy for the short term, then slowly start missing a few as a compromise
2. find something "constructive" to do while sitting in the meeting.... make a "to do" list, print out internet articles that you
don't have time to read, then read them there, make a list of how many times they use their dub phrases - "system of things", etc.
3. spy on them and then let JWD know what's happening....
4. Ask confounding questions...."why don't we wait to be baptised at 30 like Jesus did?" "Why do we wear wedding rings which are pagan symbols?, "Why are there still Bible Students around... who broke off from whom"?
Like I said, I've never been a dub, but I'm the type that wouldn't sit still by just going back. I'd shake it up a little, or do it my way.
-
candidlynuts
many people go to the meetings just to keep peace in the family.. if they didnt , the halls would be emptier than they already are.
-
Finally-Free
I have never experienced an increase of respect from people after yielding to their demands, nor has such yielding ever increased my own self respect. Be true to yourself and your convictions.
Life is short, and you only get one shot at it. Don't waste that shot for the sake of a lie.
W
-
Warlock
What I would say to your friend is: Friend, if that's what you have to do in your situation, then do it. Some of us are in similar situations, and we gotta do what we gotta do, too. I support what ever decision you had to make.
Warlock
-
choosing life
Use the time at the meetings to critically anilyze what is being said. Watch for the control techniques that are being used. This will help to cement in your mind that this is just men controlling people. Look up scripture references used and read the context to see how they take things out of context. Make notes if you can. And when you can't take it anymore,just read the Bible-whatever part interests you.
-
95stormfront
.....try to remind this "friend" that if his wife really loved him, he wouldn't be "pressured" to do anything. But, that aside, I'm sure he's doing what he has to to do save his marriage though I suspect he's going to die a little bit inside the longer he tries to conform to that fascade until he eventually pops.
-
ocsrf
hey, if he has to do it to keep peace with his wife than who are we to question it; however, like me, he will never sit through another hour thinking yes I must do this or that. He will be sitting there thinking about all the holes in their arguments, he will have to get use to those who avoid him because they consider him a weak one and bad associate. So my thought is he will still miss as often as possible. Nothing like going to a meeting once in awhile to just confirm how much BS is shoveled over to all those who believe it is the truth. Just be glad you don't have to join him...LOL.
OC
-
95stormfront
Don't have to go to meetings to be reminded of all the bullshit shoveled around. All he has to do is listen to his wife's loaded language, the language pressuring him into believing that this is something that "HAS" to be done per WT instructions. I broke my wofe of that crap long ago, but, to each his own.
-
MegaDude
Let your friend make his own decisions.
When dealing with potential loss of family, including a spouse and children, staying a JW can be a viable option. Not a pleasant one but a necessary one. I've known fathers and husbands who stayed in the JWs and as the years passed were able to help their spouse and kids get out. My dad hung around. All of his kids are out except for one, who is hanging on with his big toe only. Glad he did. His influence was helpful even though I was a Watchtower robot, which wasn't fun for him.