My son

wonderwoman

My son (almost 13) and I got home from school shopping and there was a package in the door. Addressed to him from my super jw sis. My heart sank, the convention...I knew what was inside. He tears it open to find a couple cds and a note along with "What Does The Bible Really Teach" book with his name inside the cover. I'm pissed. Who the hell does she think she is??
I was planning on writing on this topic soon, but now it seems appropriate. It goes hand in hand:
I divrced my son's father when he was 1 1/2. I left the jws at the same time. His dad was an off and on jw. when it seemed convenient for him kinda guy. He died a couple years ago. My son still sees both sides of the family on occasion. His experiences include going to meetings with grandparents, uncles, aunts etc...when he visits. He has accompanied them door to door too, which he dislikes very much. I tell him he doesn't have to do any of it, but he does to appease the fam.
I know they are telling him "if you want to see your dad in the paradise you have to do this and this" (puke) and I can see that makes him feel bad. He doesn't really believe any of it and I need to keep it that way.
I want to tell him everything but am worried is he too young to understand?
How should I approach it?
My big big question is how do I talk to him about this crazy cult without making him run right to it with open arms?

wonderwoman

I just realized I was his age when I got baptized. How sad.

BlackSwan of Memphis

Truthfully, he's your son.

I understand that you want him to know his family.

Unfortunately for you and him, some of that family are in a cult.

That cult is very impressionable on adults let alone children.

And you are absolutely right about what they are telling him.

Fortunately at this point, you have it within your power to either

a) Keep him the heck away from that cult and from the people who would impress on his mind the very things that you don't want impressed.

or

b) Teach him exactly why you left that religion in the first place, what they teach vs what you believe and encourage him to think for himself and start exploring religion and science and support his choices as long as they promote a healthy self esteem and character.

But if it were me....

There is no way in on this planet I would ever let my kids step foot in a kingdom hall without my presence, nor would I allow my kids to be alone in the presence of those who would indoctrinate them.

I love my family much, but I know what they would do.

just my two cents

BSoM

lost_light06

I want to tell him everything but am worried is he too young to understand?

They would not hesitate to baptise him tomorrow so I think it is very important to tell him the truth about the "crazy cult". You probably don't want to "demonize" them though as he may think you are calling his JW family evil.

fullofdoubtnow

They will indoctrinate him if they get the opportunity. It's not their fault, really, they are brainwashed and think they're doing what's best for him. At least he has already cultivated a healthy disike of the ministry, so they won't attract him by taking him on that. Mabe that will work against them if they really try to make him into a jw. Make sure he knows it's something he will have to do if he ever shows an interest in being one.

Perhaps you could set some boundaries as to what they can do when he visits? I imagine they know how you feel about it, and you could threaten to limit or even stop his visits if they don't cooperate.

As for being to young to understand, he isn't too young to be baptised, they'd do that in a heartbeat if he was willing, so I think you could begin his education about what jwism is really like right now.

Wordly Andre

I would just tell him to enjoy his childhood and when he is 18 he can make up his own mind about it but until then he has to listen to you.

I was actually thinking about this for myself, my wife and I are talking about having a baby in 2 years, I was wondering what kind of crap they are going to be sending my kid, my wife and I are Catholic, so my children will be raised Catholic, but when they are 18 if they want to join a cult its up to them.

LovesDubs

If that package contained literature from the Ku Klux Klan would you allow him to keep it? What if it contained drugs and a blow by blow chart how to build a bomb? You know this cult is dangerous and destructive and that should be enough of an explanation for you to do what you are obliged to do. You are the mom and you are still in charge of what your children are exposed to. Take the book...tell him if he wants to investigate the bible you would be happy to sign him up for a BIBLE study with kids his age, or answer his questions with him using your copy of the Bible. Point out that Jesus disciples didnt need any man made volumes to "explain" their scriptures to them.

Sister DOESNT have the right to impose her beliefs on YOUR children. Not now not EVER.

Wordly Andre

just a thought, do your JW family let their children come over and stay with you? if so how would they like it if you took their kids to church? No can't imagine they would allow it, in fact they would freak out so much by it that the kids will never be allowed to come over to visit Aunt Apostate. I hate their double standards

BlackSwan of Memphis

just a thought, do your JW family let their children come over and stay with you? if so how would they like it if you took their kids to church? No can't imagine they would allow it, in fact they would freak out so much by it that the kids will never be allowed to come over to visit Aunt Apostate. I hate their double standards

all the points made here are good, this one just stuck out

Nathan Natas

Rent a copy of the movie "Ticket to Heaven" and watch it with him.

If you don't have any good movie rental places near you, netflix might be able to help; I checked and they have it. Ticket to Heaven (1981)

On the heels of a breakup with his long-term girlfriend, David (Nick Mancuso) flees Toronto and heads to San Francisco, where he seeks solace in a summer camp that turns out instead to be an oppressive religious cult. Under the guise of Christianity, the sect's leader brainwashes the unwitting young man, pulling him away from friends and family. David's parents hire a man to deprogram their son -- but it may be too late. Starring: Nick Mancuso, Meg Foster ...
Director: Ralph Thomas
Genre: Drama
Format: Full Screen ...
Language: English
Subtitles: None Rated PG

Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children. Ticket to Heaven

My son

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