by bluebeads 26 Replies latest jw friends
Oh, and the creepy elder? Rat him out.Tell your dad AND tell the other elders.
Elders have MAJOR authority in the congregation and must not be allowed to abuse it. You aren't the first he started that with, and unless you tell, you won't be the last.
ILLLLLL
i felt so sick and uneasy because who talks to a 19 year old girl like this??? alone in a car
That old dude is one nasty motherF*@&er
You must never be alone with a elder. If he was talking to you that way he may be up to no good. He might have been testing you and may try something inappropriate next time.
Double Ditto.....................
Elders know they aren't supposed to be alone with a sister.............I suspect he is seeing how far he can get with you.
Raised in the truth? What if only one parent is a JW?
I remember a phrase one brother used, "raised alongside the truth." He said no one is raised in the truth, since each person has to make their own decision. Having both parents JWs from your first day of life is no guarantee. I would avoid baptism and that elder.
Blondie
On a side note..isn't this creepy..i was out on service unfortunately last week and i was working with my bookstudy overseer (mostly just a counsel session/why aren't you commenting/getting baptised/ university is bad for you). Anyways he's in his early 60's and he started talking to me about the immorality of the world and how satan makes it such an easy trap to fall into because it's so pleasurable..and he keeps going on about how fornication is at first soo enjoyable b/c god made us to enjoy sex and on and on about it..i think he thinks i've done somthing..but i havent!! i felt so sick and uneasy because who talks to a 19 year old girl like this??? alone in a carthe wholetime i was staring at the dashboard ready to run out of the car..
Stupid sick F***er. Tell your dad. Heck tell everyone. That is really not right. There are too many ways to mess up a girls head and self confidence and that is one. It makes you feel bad for a long time having what should be a role model (though I don't agree) pulling that crap on you. Doesn't sound like he thinks you have done something to me. sounds like he wants to do something and he needs bitch slapped.
Welcome!
That old guy was just sick. In the 70's when I was young there was too many sicko's in my congo totally obsessed with sex. I was dragged into the back room once and GRILLED about the sexual practices of my girlfriend.
As far as wordage, any child taken to meetings and indoctrinated in my book was "raised in it." Babies born in it to me seem to suffer worse, at least my friends did. That fleeting normal childhood before the WT was great. Some don't even have the memory of one birthday party.
The great thing is; your mind is free. You are here. And there is a beautiful life ahead of you.
I think you were raised in the truth but not born in it ;) If you are born in it you know no different and it is easier to hold you there. But you remember what it was like before the JWs and that has given you hope to hold on to.
Hi Bluebeads.
To put this in context, I'm not and never have been a JW. I have no personal experience of the way the organisation works. So I base this on my understanding as it is.
These are generalisations, but I think many posters would accept them:
1. Elders have a significant degree of authority in their congregations.
2. Because of the emphasis on avoiding 'worldly' contacts, etc., many JWs may be relatively naieve (other than the general perception that everything outside the JW world is evil)
3. JWs are encouraged to keep anything that happens within a congregation quiet, so as to preserve the organisation's reputation.
You obviously found this man's comments and conversation inappropriate. They certainly seem so to me. I entirely agree that you should tell people about it, especially your parents and your friends. You should not be alone with this man. To be honest, if he's in his 60's and trying to 'groom' a 19 year old (and it sounds like that to me) he may not be too worried if his next or other targets are a few years younger.
But I would go further. If, when I was a police officer, I heard about this I would have spoken to my colleagues in the child/family protection unit to see if there was any record of this man. If there wasn't I would have entered the information. If you know any police officers (or social workers or similar) speak to them about it.
I don't know where you are. If you're in the UK or somewhere where they have police family protection units, I'd ask you (if you can) to arrange a confidential talk with them. You don't have to make a statement, complaint or anything formal, just give them the information. It may match up with something they already know or may be a 'heads up'. At least you've done your bit.
I may, of course, be doing this man a disservice and his motives are entirely harmless. Unfortunately too many years of dealing with too many cases suggests that he is a danger to youngsters.
Hi butterfly & welcome!
Another thought bluebeads. Please listen to that inner voice - if something feels wrong or uncomfortable, your boundaries are being violated. You have a voice and you don't have to put up with crap from people, especially adults who should know better. It may be a little embarrassing to speak up, but you'll get used to doing so.
Hi Bluebeads,
Joe Grundy's advice is GREAT.
Probably the old knucklehead elder thinks he is being directed by Jehovah's Holy Spirit to chat you up about sex. You can help him clarify his understanding!
Here's an interesting thing about our language: have you ever noticed that ACTION is something you TAKE? No one GIVES it to you, you TAKE ACTION. This is because in real life, we empower ourselves.
Since you are unbaptized, the elders have very little power over you. They can incite your parents to give you grief but it sounds like that is already part of the daily menu. They can announce that you are a "bad association" but that will only make the losers leave you alone and you will gain points with the really interesting people. Well, there is one thing - they may withhold from you the priviledge of cleaning the Kingdom Hall toilet. You'll just have to be strong!
Stay in school. Maximize your potential. Live your life. Fulfill your dreams.
I feel also that you should tell your parents about this man. Number one, this certainly made you uncomfortable and ruined your day. It was to say the least creepy. I would not as your parent want him counseling you alone in a car about sex. Just hearing about this make my skin crawl.
