Oh, and since you are willing to support him as a witness, why not sign his letter as a witness to confirm his experiences and observations. It will give evidence to the misuse of authority by his uncle. The whole matter will be taken much more seriously if other members ‘in good standing’ carry the same complaint and it will give your friend more reassurance. Or maybe you write your own letter regarding this. What do you think?
Problem with an elder
by Zico 42 Replies latest jw friends
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AnnOMaly
What's your CO like, Zico? Your friend could ask his advice on how to deal with the elder. If your friend makes it sound like he has a problem and is unsure what to do, rather than sounding like he's whining about an elder, he might get further.
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sspo
If he is just a humble publisher, the last thing he wants to do is write to the society. He will be marked by the elders as a troublemaker and will take years to build or clean his record. The body of elders holds the big stick and eventually they will use it against him.
Let him call in a humble way another elder in the congregation who is fair and reasonable and explain the situation is going thru and see what happens.
If the elder agrees with his fellow elder i suggest your friend to drop the whole thing otherwise they will make his life miserable if he goes against their counsel.
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Quandry
Zico
Agape is living in a dream world where the elders are always the spiritual shepherds they are supposed to be. Have you read some of the posts on this forum? Some of the elders love to "Lord it over others" for whatever reasons. Obviously this man has power because he is able to keep your friend from being a MS.
My teenage daughter was df'd after being lied to by a committee, slandered to others in the congregation, falsely accused, and made to read a scripture that she was filth in God's eyes and would burn in the fire with the devil and his angels.
At a meeting with other elders to discuss this, we were told we must "accept what happened because God allowed it."
Have you ever been lied to by an elder? My husband and I have.
The elders even made reference to my family from the platform, not naming us, but comments that we knew were directed to us.
Others on this forum have been treated similarly.
Doesn't this poor obedient brother know that he is expendable? His crime will be "disregarding counsel" if he goes ahead with the party and serves alcohol. He could be df'd.
As to laying bare his fault between you and him alone, the elder obviously does not think he has faults, just authority. He is, after all, appointed to his position through HOLY SPIRIT, and is like MOSES, and not to be disobeyed.
Unfortunately, your friend will find this out.
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agapa37
Agape is living in a dream world where the elders are always the spiritual shepherds they are supposed to be. Have you read some of the posts on this forum? Some of the elders love to "Lord it over others" for whatever reasons. Obviously this man has power because he is able to keep your friend from being a MS
Have you read my posts to him. If so you need to read them again.
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uwishufish
Maby its time to do some recon on uncle. Remember he's human also. Sometimes a telefoto lens works wonders.
If that don't work then there's always George Hayduke book GETTING EVEN THE COMPLETE BOOK OF DIRTY TRICKS, vol 1,2,3.
Uwuf
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Quandry
Agapa,
In this brother's post, he says that his friend has made every effort to discuss his differences with this elder, his uncle.
Perhaps you are young and are unaware of some of the tactics the elders will use, or the way they have treated many in the congregation.
I wish I was unaware. My husband and I were in this organization for over thirty years. We were the diligent bathroom cleaners, always obedient. My husband was an elder.
Can you imagine the shock and dismay we have been through to know that men who are in positions of trust would abuse that trust by using lies, slander, berating speech, accuse a child of being a liar when they do not admit things the elders have predetermined they did, and tell a child that they are filth in God's eyes, and will burn in the lake of fire with the devil?
Don't think we didn't write many, many letters to the Society. We were told by them that we were causing divisions by not being friends with these men, and that God would judge them if they did anything wrong.
Can you imagine the disgust some have experienced when, after their child was sexually molested by a member of the congregation, sometimes even an elder, they were told the molester was sorry, and that if they spoke about the abuse with anyone in the congregation, they would be disfellowshipped? Worse, yet, how about the girls that, at eleven or twelve years old, were told that they must have done something to invite the abuse?
How about the ones on this forum who have been expelled from the congregation for merely asking why the WT Society would join the UN? After all, it IS a fact.
Do the elders know that you are a poster on this forum? You may find out how expendable you are if you ever let them know. You may find out the humiliating way they can and do treat people in the back room. No, maybe not all elders are this way, but a very sizeable number, as is apparent by the numbers posting here.
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agapa37
QUANDRY
Im not young. I have been around long enough to know whats happening. I thought I gave him good avise. Advise from the bible. If he has done what is expected on his part by Jehovah then his conscience should be clean and he should be happy
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freetosee
My friend has already spoken to the elder about his issues many times, with no success
Truth. It was other elders who have told him that he is not an MS because the elder in question has argued when he has been suggested as an appointment.
The poor brother has done all he can to find a solution, the Jesus way didn’t/doesn’t work within the JW congregation. Him kissing their feet will only make them take more advantage of his willingness to serve. A letter will get the ball rolling –not for him to become a MS- but to see that Holy Spirit has nothing to do with the directions given by the society and the appointing of servants. fts
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penny2
Once an elder has it in for you, there is nothing much you can do - other than move to the other side of the country. My advice is just be a support to your friend.