just wanting to talk to someone...

by airwlk149 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  airwlk149

  ok- this isn't going to be very interesting. just wanting to talk without speaking words. so i decided to come here and type what i am feeling. though i can't really because i don't know how i am feeling. my "friend" and i are getting alot closer. if anyone who read my last post, am i normal? you'll know which "friend" i am talking about. the other day i was on the internet and i was talking to this guy and he asked if i was single and i said i didn't know. because i really don't know. i don't have a boyfriend... so yeah then later that night i was telling this to my "friend" and i asked her what she thought i was to her. she said she didn't know either. so i said you are my issue. so that's what i have, an issue. not a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but an issue. i think that's kind of funny in a way. we do love each other and i am almost convinced that i could be a lesbian. and sometimes i think she is one too. we could be a couple. it's really hard for me to say it, but that's what i want. we talked the other day and i told her i could she us living together. she just listened. i know it's harder for her to say stuff then it is for me. she mainly listens, but it's by her actions that i know where she stands. the other thing is that i really want kids. all my life that's what i dreamed about. that and being a teacher. but would people let me teach their children if they knew i was a lesbian? and would it be fair to raise a child with two moms and no dad? i could see us raising a baby together. we watched my niece together the other day- she's two- and we had so much fun giving her a bath and putting her to bed, reading her stories and such. but how would we have a baby together. i would love it if it could come from both of us, but i don't think that's possible. then when i reflect back on how i feel, i feel icky because these things are coming out of my mouth. my mother would shit a brick. last night my friends that are studying came over and we had to watch the young people ask video on how to make real friends. it was so dumb, because on the video they are telling you not to hang out with anyone who is not jw, because they are worldly. but both of my friends are not jw- and i know one of them has no plans on becoming one. the other one is getting sucked in.... "everyone is SO nice" "they're not that bad, Katie..." etc., she even told me last night at the store that she is not that excited for the holidays because there not that fun, and she has more fun just goiung to congregation get togethers. that's a scary thought. but i am not talking about the "friend" who is really an issue. thank god! well, i am going to go. thanks for reading, if anyone even got this far, because all i really did was ramble!
  love,
  katie

  thanks for reading! :)
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  hippikon

  One question - Are you harming anyone?
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  JW72

  Hi Katie, I read all the way to the end ;)

  You sound really nice, a bit confused, but nice. I think you're doing the right thing by talking to your friend. I don't think there's really anything 'wrong' with lesbianism, I actually quite enjoy it ;) (I'm a guy, by the way)

  Lesbianism obviously isn't 'normal' but at least you sound loving and you see the need for bringing a child into a steady and loving family, what more can you ask?

  I'm not an expert but there are ways for lesbians to have babies, these days, don't worry about that.

  I don't know what else to say, except don't let those JW doctrinal facist ideas screw up your life, just try and be a good person and enjoy yourself.

  Good luck, love

  Chris

  P.S Let me know how you get on, keep smiling :)
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  WildHorses

  Katie,

  If you do decide to become a couple, and you worry about the children issue. There is always adoption. There are so many children out there that need the love of even one parent, if not two. There is also artificial insemination(Did I spell that correctly?) This way the child will have the blood of at least one of you.

  There are so many options for you and your (issue) LOL

  Try not to worry. Just take it slow and see what happens before you let yourself worry about children. You are still young and have plenty of time.

  Lilacs
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  dungbeetle

  I read all the way to the end too, Katie.

  I can't add any better advice than what's already been posted here. You are not alone in having 'issues' humans are spritual creatures. You are welcome here, and free to 'vent' anytime. My email is unlocked, feel free to use it if you wish.

  (((Katie))

  dungbeetle...cleaning up the crap.
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  Introspection

  Hi Katie,

  I say don't even label your relationship. It is what it is, and quite often when people use the word "normal" it's just another way of putting people and things into categories rather than understanding and accepting it for what it is. People feel the need to identify, but when it comes to real life situations, especially interpersonal relationships things are often not that simple. Relationships will change because people will change, and things happen to change the relationships. People who accept you as a person will recognize that rather than identify you by some convenient label.
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  JW72

  Introspection, I was REALLY hoping noone would pick me up on my use of the word 'normal'. There is nothing at all wrong with saying that, it is a recognised word in the dictionary, I used it appropriately, I was not judging her as a person, I was talking about lesbians as a whole. Men were designed to go with women, thats how it is, I don't need to give you a biology lesson. Normal doesn't mean 'worse', 'wrong' or anything else. I'm completely open-minded and I do not think any less of someone for being gay, there are things about me that are not 'normal' and I am not ashamed.

  An apology would be nice, I am a bit offended, although I understand where you were coming from and will not hold it against you.

  Love

  Chris
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  Andee

  Greetings Airwlk149,

  I read your post too. I have a definite opinion on this.

  [q]and would it be fair to raise a child with two moms and no dad? [/q]

  To deliberately bring into the world a child without a father is contemptable, IMO. Two women do not take the place of a father, period. Do you have a father? Does he mean nothing to you? Ask those that grew up without fathers. Maybe you didn't have one in your household either, I don't know. It's hardly a secret that children without fathers face a more difficult time coping with the challenges of life.

  So you go ahead and make a baby and have a boy. What are you going to tell him when he asks where his father is? How in the world are you going to teach him that he will be important in the lives of his children when you didn't even bother to think it was important for him?

  Don't get my wrong. I have no problem with lesbianism. I can see you a struggling with it. You seem like a thoughtful and sincere person.
  I also think that single woman who don't think they need a manand their children don't need father ought to think about that too.

  However, I am a big supporter of the adoption of children that otherwise would not have a home. Two moms, heck even one mom, is better than having no parent. Also, it's better than a endless string of foster homes and institutions.

  My perspective and opinions ALWAYS come from what is in the best interest of the child. They don't have any choices in these matters, we as adults do.

  Andee
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  JW72

  Andee, Hopefully they would bring the child up to be open-minded and understanding. She wanted kids and she was a lesbian, what is there to say??? I believe two loving 'mothers' is better than one loving mother or a mother and an abusive father or a father and an abusive mother or parents that don't love their kids.

  It's not so bad, anyway, one of the mothers could adopt a more fatherly role, I don't know...

  I'm not saying there wouldn't be any problems for the kid at school etc. but at least it would be loved!

  Chris
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  Introspection

  Chris,

  I was not thinking of your message at all when I wrote that. Remember one of her threads was titled "am I normal?" I was simply speaking of the typical attitude among those who may be critical of her, specifically in her immediate area. She also used the word normal in the first message in this thread.