Are some people better off staying in the WTS?

HalfWayThere

I read this forum alot. Though I don't post very often, I thought I would share the following thoughts.

My mother is 70, and lives alone (my parents separated and divorced about 23 years ago). She is still active (especially in mind) and able to look after herself, but her health is failing and she has had a few "mini-strokes" of late and is likely to suffer more severe problems in the near future. My three JW sisters do well in taking her to hospital and doctors appointments (which I can't do as I work full-time). She is a social creature and enjoys hosting the book-study in her home on Thursday nights and the field service meeting on Saturday morning, though she can no longer go out door knocking due to her bad health. She occasionally babysits my sisters' children and enjoys being close to her daughters and their grandchildren.

So all in all my mothers entire life is the WTS and her family. I left the religion 6 years ago (I have 2 brothers who were never baptized and despise the religion too) and from time to time my mum and I end up debating my choice to leave, and I'm always open as to what I really think. Since announcing to my family that I had proposed to my non-JW girlfriend of 2 years, my mum has been under alot of pressure from my sisters to not attend the reception, as they had decided not to, because my DA-ed father will be there. Now my sisters have also decided not to attend the ceremony either because of some point made at the recent DC (something to do with the fact that I'm living with my fiance and could have 'corrected' the situation along time ago), and are now trying to convince mum that she shouldn't be going either, though she is standing firm in her decision to go.

All this has really brought my opinions of the religion to the forefront again, resulting in a lively discussion on the phone with my mum last night. After the conversation ended I began to think what would happen if my mum was ever to see what a load of crap the WTS is. Her whole life would crumble around her and even though my mum is a strong woman, I don't see her surviving that - losing social contact with her daughters and grandchildren, losing her JW friends. She doesn't drive, so she would have no life.

It pains me that she is being put through the wringer just because she wants to attend her sons wedding and enjoy the day, but on the other hand I now feel like I shouldn't express my opinions to her anymore - I'm afraid that maybe one day a crack might appear in her tough shell and she'll actually listen to what I'm saying. And then everything in her world would fall apart.

So my thought is: Maybe some people are better off staying in the WTS, despite all the crap, because its just not worth putting them through all the pain of leaving. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

Has anyone else faced a similar situation, where you wish a family or friend could see the light, but know that they wouldn't survive coming out of it? What do you think?

Owen.

jaguarbass

I think some people who dont want to use their brains are better to stay in the troof than come out in the world and be a mindless republican, stuck on stupid, voting and giving this country a joker like George Bush to deal with.

earthtone

I think that the organization is all some people have. And though I am loathed to admitt, in cases like your mom's it might be better to leave her in the bubble than burst it.

So on that note I would probably leave her be. As long as she is still associating with you and you guys enjoy a good relationship, it may not be worth it to disrupt the peace. But I am a little upset at how your sisters are making her chose like this. Maybe you could talk to them (if they'll listen for a minute) and let them know that you are not trying to make her leave the truth and that you just love your mom and want a relationship with her just like they have one.

anewme

You seem like a good person Owen, and a loving son. Let your mom make her own decision about your up and coming wedding. Her heart may be in the JWs, but she surely loves you too. She does not want to miss your big day. Allow her to use her own conscience in this matter.
Best wishes to you all,

Anewme

Highlander

Forgive me if I seem to optimistic... Let's say your mom 'saw the light' and da'd herself. Maybe, just maybe, her actions would be a 'wake up call' to your three

j-dub sisters and get them to really think about this organization.

Though I do agree with your point, some people, due to age and their mental state and comfort level, probably are better off staying in the j-dub dreamworld.

earthtone

Just to clarify, I was not saying your mom shouldn't attend your wedding, only that I wouldn't bother her about the lies and deceit of the WTS unless she is asking. Which from what I read did not seem to be the case.

parakeet

HalfWayThere:
***Has anyone else faced a similar situation, where you wish a family or friend could see the light, but know that they wouldn't survive coming out of it?***

My JW parents are in exactly the same situation. They are elderly and their health has begun to fail. Their lives have revolved around their JW friends and KH for many years. I believe it is kinder to let them live with their illusions. If I succeeded in persuading them to see the truth about the WTS, they would be left without their faith, their friends, and their way of life. I'm certain it would kill them -- literally.
I probably should have made the attempt many years ago when they still had the time and resilience to adjust, but I was too afraid of alienating them and being cut off from them. I still don't know if I did the right thing.

free2beme

YES! I hope my mother lives her entire life as a Witness. She needs it, it keeps her happy and ongoing in this world. She would be a mess without it.

sspo

I definetely think that some are better off in the organ. expecially older ones that might have a few years left on earth.

If she left your sister would shun her and she will die with a broken heart.

There are some i know i would never persuade to leave the organ.,the older ones that's all they have,many widows would truly have no purpose anymore to live.

At least in the congr. they do have freinds, it gives them a chance to get out of the house and even live longer because they are active in something.

By the way you might share this with your mom and your sister about associating with you, this is taken from the elders book page 102 last par.

The little secret that the elders never share with the publishers

Normally, a close relative would not be disfellowshipped for

associating with a disfellowshipped person unless there is spiritual association or an effort made to justify or excuse

the wrongful course.

HalfWayThere

earthtone:

Unfortunately I don't think my sisters would listen. Two of them rang me on Saturday to tell me their decision - they are stuck in JW mentality. There is no 'compromising Jehovah's standard for our own conveniece' as one of them said. They're not liberal JW's and as far as they are concerned there is no room for compromise.

No, my mum doesn't ask about the society's failings, but its hard to keep my mouth shut when she says that armageddon is 'so close' and hopes that one day I will come back. But I will try harder to bite my tongue in the future.

Highlander:

I can only wish! But considering no-one saw the light when my dad DA'd, I don't see anything being different if my mum did it. And besides, I often get the impression that my sisters feel the need to 'help' my mum see the right thing to do as she can be quite liberal at times, so I don't think they would have any respect for her opinions of the org is she left it.

parakeet:

I don't blame you for being afraid of being cutoff from your family. I sometimes wish that I had kept my mouth shut and just gone inactive so as to not tear my family apart even more. I think you did the right thing.

Are some people better off staying in the WTS?

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