Need marital advice (page 4)

earthtone

I'm feeling you anewane. My first husband was a total wuss. I'm not saying you should cheat, but I can understand you.

delilah

I guess it depends on the situation then Anewme. If his wife is suffering from neglect, and that is why she is looking elsewhere, then your approach is probably the correct one.

If his wife is certain of his undying love, then it is likely she is looking around because she doesn't respect him. Given that she is in her 20's and hasn't dated alot, she is probably naive enough to be impressed and turned on by some "bad-boy".

This is what I was going to say, in so many words. Although I'm not so sure I'd say she was being naive...just because she was married young, and didn't date a lot beforehand. It's still no excuse to behave like that. Sometimes we may feel it's fun to flirt with another guy/girl, and we may like to have our egos stroked by someone other than our mates.... HOWEVER, asking for someone's cell #, or to get together with someone, or "hook up" with someone, goes way beyond having the ego stroked, or just having innocent fun. Especially if the person is keeping it secret from the other mate.

Both parties are responsible for the healthy marital household, and must not forget to show love and affection, to each other, no matter how young they were when they married. They were old enough to understand the marriage vows they undertook at the time of their wedding. Sometimes we get into a slump, we know we love each other, but times get busy, and we forget to say it, or give each other that needed hug.

My mom always said, " Marriage isn't easy...it takes a lot of elbow grease and hard work, to make it work." Sadly, some don't work out.

Check_Your_Premises

Again Anewme... I think it depends on the situation. In your situation, I think it would have been completely appropriate.

I have gone the jealous/possessive route (with a girlfriend) and I came off as this controlling, psycho, smothering, jag-off (which I was).

Once I wised up and made it clear that I didn't give a damn what she did, that is when I got all sorts of attempts by her at reconciliation.

If he is a good husband, and she still needs to play these kind of games to feel desireable and wanted then she really isn't worth the effort.

Well LL you have heard from a couple of schools of thought. I would say both have there points and merits. You need to decide which best applies to your situation.

Regardless of what you choose, Anewme is right, that little jag-off needs to have his face kicked in.

Finally-Free

That little sh** at her work knows she is married. He is a huge jerk and he needs his face kicked in!

And she doesn't know she's married? Is she not responsible for her actions? SHE is the one who took the wedding vow, not the guy at work. HE should get his face kicked in because she's considering cheating???

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who would expect that of me is not worthy of my vomit.

W

anewme

Earthtone, I absolutely dont believe in cheating! It is absolutely against everything I believe in.
But so is starving to death. And the mind and heart undergo strange changes during starvation.
Marital partners owe it to each to each other to be feeding each other physically, spiritually and emotionally all the time.

Absolutely should these two people receive counseling PRONTO as was mentioned earlier.

delilah

TOWANDA!

Snicker,....."Face it girls, I'm older, and have more insurance".....I love that movie...and yes, I understand where you are coming from Anewme...that guy does need an a$$-whoopin for messing with a married woman, but she needs a comuppence too, she knows she's married.

katiekitten

That little sh** at her work knows she is married. He is a huge jerk and he needs his face kicked in!

And she doesn't know she's married?

Yea, but when you are married and you love your partner its easier to vent your anger at the 3rd party who you have no feelings for. Its easy to say you would do this or that to your partner, kick them into touch or whatever, but in reality if you love someone enough you cant always be brutal even if they deserve it.

So id say go and humiliate the other bloke at his place of work. It will give you a legitimate place to vent your anger at, it will make her see how mad you are without damaging anything you might have between you, and if she is playing an 'I want to be loved' game it might help there too.

Again its easy to critisise people who are apparently playing attention games, but at the end of the day we do want to feel like we are loved, and sometimes (rightly or wrongly) we feel need a big tummy rub. Its when we are constantly ignoring the tummy rubs we are getting and constatly demanding more that its a problem.

jaguarbass

The Society trains men to be woosies! Dont fight! Dont make a mess! Dont make trouble!

If a man beats the crap out of somebody 1 of 2 things usually happens the police are called and somebody goes to jail, or the guy that got beat up gets a gun a comes back and kills the other guy. Then he goes to jail. This plays out over and over

stillajwexelder

Find out who he is and then Kill the bastard.

Finally-Free

I find it alarming that so many would advocate violence against a male. Would these same ones be in favour of a similar act of violence against an equally guilty female?

W

Need marital advice

Share this