What's Wrong With Some Parents?

by XJW4EVR 79 Replies latest social family

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  JWdaughter

  Thanks for the reminder to keep on 'hounding' my kids about good manners and being polite to people, learning to apologise when we make a mistake.

  Sorry you had such an unpleasant lunch, but I do think that handling it differently yourself may have resulted in another outcome. I had a recent experience that was potentially very unpleasant and it was my young adult son who was the central figure. He had done something stupid, that could have resulted in him being arrested/questioned on a technicality if the other person had pressed it and twisted the situation a bit. But the parent came to me and said what had happened in an unthreatening way, we got the issue talked over with the two young people, and left each other in a very amicable frame of mind. Both the kids had been stupid in different ways but the mistake was made whilst my son had tried to protect his daughter and yada yada yada. End result, kids are ok, parents are friendly, and what could have been horrible was a learning experience and an opportunity to hear both sides of the story-parents and childrens perspective(both kids had led the other to believe their parents were monsters, so it was kind of neat for them to find out that no one was and that we cared about our kids and others' also!)However, the father could have approached me in a way that set my hair on fire and/or I could have over-reacted and then we would have proven the obnoxious teenagers right(that their parents were crazy) and my son may have had a brief aquaintance with the local PD(he didn't really do anything wrong, but it would have been a couple hours straightening it out + a record of it all). Shelly (catching more flies with honey)
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  JWdaughter

  I am conservative with some other leanings at times. . .and I fully admit that either side can have entirely obnoxious behaviors and expectations. Many run counter to what their stated political philosopy is (hypocrites abound!)
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  XJW4EVR

  My anger was directed not at the child, he obviously was never taught how to behave in public, but at the parent. My comment about the child being a brat was never said to the parent. I asked if this was her child, and when she acknowledged it I then asked her to replace the food. SImple as that. The rest of the confrontation escalated from her lack of couth.

  The thing that I find more offensive is the utter foaming at the mouth responses for my last comment. Again, are liberals that thin skinned that they don't like generalizatons? I think some of you really need to look at yourselves, and your attitudes. It's pretty striking.
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  Dismembered

  I concur dvw. 100%

  Right on SusanHere!

  To add to what SusanHere said, in perhaps a bit more crass term.... is that some people just don't give a shit whos toes they step on.

  Dismembered
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  Bumble Bee

  I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's not always the parents fault. I come from a family of 6 and we are all different, from owing our own business/sucessful careers to being an alcholic/drug user/wife beater/frequent guest of the prison and two in the middle of that broad spectrum.

  I sometimes can't understand how siblings can be so different - raised by the same parent(s), taught the same things and have our lives turn out so different.

  You don't know what that family was coping with at the time. Your reaction could have fueled hers. I think if I had a hostile male confront me in a crowded resturant I might not be too civil either. (I'm not saying you were I wasn't there, but if someone comes off hostile, I have a tendancy to react the same way, if you're civil, I'll be civil too).

  What happend could have just been the drop in the already full bucket that caused it to overflow.

  BB
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  Warlock

  I think this incident is like many we encounter in life today. Sometimes we see so much rudeness shown in the media, directed at others, directed at us, and we just get fed up with it all and one thing sets off all the pressure. I'm not saying it was a minor thing, and I'm not saying you overeacted, but sometimes we can just release all of our frustrations at one time.

  Warlock
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  yucca

  a friend of mine was in grocery store and some boys were running and knocked her down and she broke her hip. No one knew who the boys were and the grocery story was not at fault. I never allowed my children to run thru stores like that. So the parents are to blame. It took months for my friend to get back on her feet.
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  Crumpet

  She'll suffer the consequences of her inability to raise children though! Count on it!

  And she is being punished already - she has to drive a Volvo!
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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Anyway, we both finished eating around the same time, and I walked out to the parking lot to drive back to work. What car do I see this woman and her brats get into, why a brand new Volvo, with a plethora of anti-Bush and pro-leftist bumper stickers on them.
  
  I just shook my head and smiled. Isn't that typical. Being a leftist means never having to be responsible nor apologizing for your mistakes.

  The thing that I find more offensive is the utter foaming at the mouth responses for my last comment. ; Again, are liberals that thin skinned that they don't like generalizatons? ; I think some of you really need to look at yourselves, and your attitudes. ; It's pretty striking.

  So let's get this straight: You are offended because the group of people you offended with an off the cuff, stereotypical, politically charged remark make comments that are by your own words "foaming at the mouth"? To which, you haven't yourself apologized. Now lets generalize the R on the board with a politically and emotionally charged ad hominen comment and see what sorts of comments we get. It would go back to this:
  

  Isn't that typical. Being a leftist means never having to be responsible nor apologizing for your mistakes.

  It's a never ending cycle of making generalizations that really don't get you anywhere in your argument. The way the person possibly parents has zero to do with her politics. Don't believe me? I've known right wingers to be just as if not More, irresponsible when it comes to their kids. Seriously. Around here we have a lot of people who are very "pro Bush" and Republican who let their kids run wild and are downright rude. Do I think it's a Republican thang? Nope, because an equal amount of R's out there are great parents who take responsibility for themselves and their kids. Just the same as do Liberals. Give the politics a rest for a change and just keep the argument where it was: The lady was irresponsible with her kids, and for that matter being a mom myself, you have zero clue what her life is like. You could have caught her on one of the worst days of her life. I am Not saying letting your kids run wild is good. I would have done things much different, ya just never know.
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  XJW4EVR

  OK, again, I did not explode or lose my temper at any time during this incident. I simply asked the woman if the child was hers, and to replace the meal that her child ruined. When she refused I raised my voice to inform the rest of the patrons to watch out for the children, and to shame her into doing the right thing, which was to pay for a replacement meal. I did get upset when she refused to pay for the meal or even appologize, but I never lost my temper.

  I started this thread to blow off steam. I shall not make that mistake again. Evidently, some of you seem to be more concerned about my reaction and my closing comment than the boorish behavior of a poor excuse for a mother and a human being.