Hi Xjwms:
With age comes pain I ' m sick of getting old.
First of all, I hardly think 55 is old! Are you in pain at this moment? Your message conveys pain.
For what it's worth, in spite of all the maladies I ran through some months back - which seemed never ending at the time - I am free of physical pain, but I still get mental pain. I don't know if it's a mid-life crisis, but I keep thinking back to my younger days and how I'd do things differently. Trouble is, by dwelling on such things I'm robbing myself of the joys I could be having now. After all, I can't change anything in the past. I'll be openly frank, there are times I've posted here when I've been feeling down or fed up - but without letting on. I know others have undoubtedly done the same; probably far more than we realise. I remember one chap used to post here regularly - without letting on that he was dying! The first time I knew was when his daughter, I believe, informed the forum of his death and of how long he had battled. In other words, we all have our hidden secrets - which includes our blackest days. My best days are behind me, I know - and I feel robbed by Watchtower of the years in which I could have done better things. But I am also mindful of the fact that had I changed just one thing it would undoubtedly have had ramifications for other things, including people. Example, all but one of my children were conceived and born while I was a JW. Had I not been a JW I would likely have been doing other things than making my children. Who knows? The fact is, I love all my children so wouldn't change anything if it meant losing just one of them. Then again, being pragmatic, one could say that what one doesn't know one doesn't miss. But I do know! Life! Full of complexities. A journey of which we often seem to have no control over. I'm truly sorry if you are hurting. If you are, sometimes it's good to express yourself in writing. You can do it here openly or you can pm me, in the utmost confidence. I sincerely wish you many brighter days ahead - as I do everyone here. Ian