Still trying to block out.
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by achickwwit 21 Replies latest jw friends
Still trying to block out.
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well yes and no really. I was brought up a JW so . .
Yes for the first 5 years of so after I left I just shut the whole thing out and pretended that I had not been any part of Jws, I tried my best to be a wordly person although it was very difficult because I had missed out on so much and felt a bit of a fraud. I celebrated Christmas and birthdays and pretended that I always had done, I learned so much in those years.
No because of the brain washing I have never been able to rid my head of all the crap it has been filled with so it has been impossible to completly block it out.
but I do not tell people that I was a JW and I do not tell them my parents are JWs, if I need to explain anything I just say they are very religious. As I moved away from the area when I disassociated myself I suppose it has been easy to hide.
I still have dreams (nightmares!) where I find myself sitting at the KH in a meeting - argh
Despite it all life is so much better on this side, even with the family hassles, it was so good to leave.
Welcome to the board. I think its very theraputic to get out all the feelings about JW instead of just blocking it out. You can then move past all th e crap they taught you, and, in my opinion, be content.
Hi and welcome.
I left at 22, completely fed up,angry and bitter. I jumped head first into the "world" and fell in looove with it. I have had some conversations with an apostate uncle and my jw fam would send me an occasional pamphlet of sorts that I threw away. Only in the last six months have I looked online for information. And no sh*t, never knew in a million there were zillions of 'ex-jws' just like me. I am remembering so many things and realizing where some of my f'd up issues come from... This place is definitely theraputic.
***Anyway, I just joined this message board and am hoping it will be theraputic for me***
I left my JW life behind decades ago. Like you, I found this board very recently. Since then, I've been reliving those years and am amazed at how much I'd forgotten. But after such a long time, those days seem like a museum curiosity to me -- interesting but not very relevant to my life now.
I'm much more interested in what the WTS is up to nowadays. My relatives still in the cult certainly never mentioned to me the "generation new light," the WTS's UN involvement, the Mexico/Malawi scandal, the Dateline expose of JW pedophiles, etc.
I've never doubted that leaving the JWs was the right thing to do, and everything I've read on this board confirms that. I hope it does the same for you.
achickwwit Welcome to the board. Ive been out for 23 years now. Time and circumstances do aid the healing.
Think about this. If you are a JW then you can only associate with other JW's. Since JW's are only 1/10% of the world's population that means once you leave you can now pick your friends from a pool of 99.99% of the world's people. No wonder JW's are nutso- how would you feel ,if 99.99% of the people you meet think you are a loser and a social misfit. Over time that would tend to make a person depressed, wouldn't it? Solution? Then go out in service more, suffer more rejection and you'll feel better- makes perfect sense to the Governing Body. But We all know better!! Welcome, to all the new members this week- and there have been a lot of them. Peace, Moshe
I am 70 and half my life was spent as a JW. I have so many good memories of my life when I was a JW that I just remember the good parts which had little to do with the religion. I just faded and had no real rejection from my family. My circumstances were so different from many here that I don't qualify to give advice to many of you. It was just the last few years in that finally got to me so that I quit. I can hardly remember the bad since I hardly ever think of it.
Ken P.
Publicy yes. Privately no. I spent 33 years of my life in that religion. I continue to track the Watchtower from this forum and other sites to keep abreast of what is currently going on inside and outside the Watchtower. Faded for three years now and moved away from Watchtower headquarters.
Blueblades
Welcome achickwwit,
I left 20 years ago. I wouldn't say I chose to "block out" the life previously known as witness, as it was something I was always aware of as a reference in a way. I did choose to put much distance between it and myself and knew there was no going back. But the roots go deep and a few years ago I found it was time to do some digging.
nice username btw