by bronzefist 40 Replies latest jw friends
DAing means different things to different people.
To me it was an opportunity to tell folks I loved them but that I had no more time for the WTS-thang.
Another issue was that I knew I wouldn't be left alone, as I was a high-profile Elder. I wanted them to give me a wide berth as I got on with my life, without receiving a phonecall every time I was seen entering a church, a religious bookshop, or a house of ill repute...
...ok, I made that last bit up to see if you were still reading
It depends on a person's reason for writing the letter, and the contents of the letter. It should serve the purposes of the writer. Any convenience it causes for the JWs should be purely coincidental.
It's been said that writing a letter is "following their rules". Submitting to their cat-and-mouse game can also be called "playing by their rules".
In my opinion, if you have to hide anything from them out of fear of reprisals, then you are playing their game - acknowledging their authority.
Granted, there are often valid reasons for doing so. Some try to fade so they can maintain family relationships. Some for financial reasons. I've met many ex-jws who have done that, but even years later they still feel the need to hide who they are. And yes, some even attend meetings so they can keep their families. Those of us who come out and tell them straight to get the fuck out of our lives immediately gain our freedom but suffer other consequences. Each person has to weigh the pros and cons in their own situation.
In my own case, I wasted what should have been the best years of my life in the cult, and I wasn't prepared to waste a minute more. I was being watched. My ex-wife was subjected to a car chase by elders who mistakenly thought I was driving. (They aborted the chase when they pulled up beside the vehicle and saw her). They were constantly phoning and knocking on my door. I wrote them a letter and told them to cease their harassment and to cease trespassing on my property, or there would be legal consequences. They immediately complied without question.
I did what was best for me, and I have no regrets.
W
I DAed myself, by walking away from the org and not looking back. You do not have to send any letters of dis-association, just stop going and don't associate with them, I think that's called dis-association. Oh they will want to know why they havn't seen you at the meetings, so I told them it was because the WTS commited apostacy. And I can't be ANY part of an apostate organization... they havn't been by since, that was about 3 yrs ago. Peace Acadian
When we decided to DA ourselves it was simply because we wanted it to be publicly known that we were no longer part of JW cult.It was the easiest way to not be pestered about not attending meetings or assemblies. Also kept well-meaning, (and some sisters really did have concern about ones leaving the org) from visiting or phoning us to encourage us to return. We felt like it was a clean break to allow us to continue our lives free from the rules of the org. We never did write an official letter at the time, my husband simply phoned the presiding overseer at the time and told him we wanted to disassociate. We never went back to a meeting after that.
Dismembered said:
Hence they start hassling people who have proved, over and over again they want nothing to do with dubdom anymore by virtue of no showing up. Ones that do not want them there. They go bug 'em anyway.
When I was pioneering they gave us names of people who were not coming to mtgs. These ones hadn't been around for years and years. I guess they felt it safe that we call on them. Of course at the time I fell in line and did it, but now I feel strongly that we should have left these people alone. They don't want to be bothered.
Juni
Thank you all for your replies. It's refreshing to be able to ask a question such as this and not get a rank and file word for word clone answer.
I chose not to DA because it was like we were married to Watchtower and we were not. I was baptized prior to 85 when you all of a sudden became a WT member by baptism.
Part of my argument when I went to the JC was just that. (I went only to hear who my accusers where, it turned out to be my Mom, yup one witness) Since I was baptized before everyone on the JC what I said to them was shocking. I was Baptized as a sign of dedication to God and repentance and I showed them the WT article that said so. I asked them, when did I ever become an official member? What was the ceremony then if it wasn't my baptism?
Of course none of that matters when they want you out and use your "death" to keep everyone else in line.
It doesn't really matter what you do. Everyone does what is right for them. I made my choice based on my circumstances and the following prophetic scripture:
John 16:2 They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God. 3 They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me. 4 I have told you this, so that when the time comes you will remember that I warned you.
Like I learned over 35 years in the witness community, Jehovah's Witnesses are the reestablishment of 1st Century Judaism LOL!
Frank75
Here is how I see it:
Disfellowshipped = Your Fired!
Disassociated = I QUIT!
I much prefer being able to tell people I quit the religion because it makes the religion look bad. If I was disfellowshipped the religion can point at me and say "he had to be removed due to committing 'gross sins'".
In my opinion, the arrangement for Disassociation empowers exJWs and is one of the biggest mistakes the WTS has made.
If baptism was a verbal agreement with the Society, then my Da letter will be a written agreement that their all nuts. Besides I would rather people know (the elders won?t be the only ones to get the letter) we left at will and were not Df for being un-repentant.
My husband and I feel that we should DA so that we're off their member list for our own protection.
