Anitar: Yes, there is too much cloak and dagger garbage in the WT. Several times I've been called by an elder or MS, even when I was still active, who wanted to ask about another JW. Unknown to me, many times a second brother was listening in on an extension. That is patently immoral, not to mention illegal in most states. Here the elders scream if you try to record or tape a judicial committee meeting and post it on the Internet (there are some, do a Google to find them, they actually threatened the soon to be DF'd brother for saying he might be doing it as they spoke), yet they want total control and intrude into your life by trying to get you to say something and then the second elder is listening and then they've got you. But let a 13 year old girl, along with a few others, all claim that the same elder molested them, and they say "oh no, we need 2 witnesses" or "do you have pictures or proof?". What a bunch of sickos.
I know this is immature, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. Money isn't always satisfying, especially if you have enough, so lawsuits don't feel as good as other methods. Just once, I'd like to punch an elder in the nose in FRONT of the congregation for doing something obnoxious, like how they treat abuse victims. Just the satisfaction of giving him a bloody nose and humiliating him by laying him out cold on the ground. I know so many elders who need some "stuffing" and "hot air" let out of them. Again, I regret my feeling this way, but I was bullied much of my life and I always wished to see the bully get his. To be honest, it was one of the reasons I joined this cult. All the types of people who picked on the "little guy" were going to die. All the rich, the wise guys, the arrogant, etc. After I got my degree, I learned to analyze the JW's I knew. I discovered that most joined for that reason. I also learned that most men joined because someday they hoped to be important by making elder. Where else can a HS graduate, who is more often than not a loser and jerk, become important, carry a nice leather briefcase, play "executive" at each elder's meeting, and have dozens of people (and ALL women) taking orders from him, and often worshipping his every word?? Only in the JW's. In the real world, this man would be supersizing French fries, not his own ego or self-importance.
I know some straying off the main point occurs in these threads, and I am no exception. I was severely clueless most of my life as to WHY people did what they did. I had no knowledge of body language, never knew if someone was upset with me (my wife told me things bothered her for TWENTY YEARS yet I never knew it, yet is that all MY fault?) and in college, didn't know that certain women liked me and I should have been asking them out. When I got the degree, I learned mostly how ignorant I was about human nature, then learned to try to fill in the gaps. I wanted to help anyone here with what I was told by professors. MOST of life occurs on a psychological level or plain. The key to understanding life, and especially RELIGION, is understanding PEOPLE and not what they do, but WHY. This concept is far more important than most people realized. Terry W., whose music I adore (and I've been in touch with him), has written many good pieces about this. So has Randy and others. The key to finding what makes JW's, and especially elders, "tick" is rooted in psychology, not the Elder's Handbook or any WT article. I encourage everyone to read Terry's piece on the main page of Freeminds. It is worth the time. (No, I get no money or royalties. LOL) It will just save many people much time and effort.
JW's, as a rule, are not educated. Nor are they particularly insightful. Many are intelligent, kind, have deep emotions and imaginations. Most of us who were JW's felt we did, isn't that true? But without an unbiased analysis of our personalities, and we won't get that while being JW's (who's going to do it or know how?), we can't grow or recognize the WHYS that occurred in OUR lives when we were JW's. I have had much success in "reading" JW's after I learned why I had become one. I hope this is of value to some people. Again, I don't blame individual JW's, per se, at least not the rank and file. They are blind, ignorant, mean well, and usually don't even know what they are doing. Didn't Jesus, while dying, ask that this type be forgiven "for they know not what they do"? (Nor why?) It's the GB and higher-ups that I blame. The ones who really know the past history, the ones who gloat when they pass rules that hurt those who disagree with them. Rutherford, for instance. An obnoxious drunk who stole his position and bullied everyone who disagreed with him. His "bodyguards" carried canes, almost daring anyone to start something. Like a few canes would stop a mob with guns, right. Can you imagine Rutherford deciding that you WILL receive a shepherding call and showing up with his goons? I truly think I'd need my firearms there, I'm sorry. Whoever is worried about the elders dropping in on you, at least you are safe from harm. The worst that they will do is slam your gate if you tell them to go away.
How many of us REALLY studied ALL the religions AND the WT's past history?? Come on, REALLY? I have the actual Studies in the Scriptures by Russell. I KNOW what they taught. The WT published ONE book years ago that skimmed several religions, pointing out their faults. (I can't remember the name.) Of course we all know it was dishonestly slanted from their point of view. And here is my point. The same pattern of sucking up to the public with kindness, while all the time lying. Then AFTER you join, the iron gate slams shut and you are stuck. Just like my distant cousins of Sicilian origin. You don't retire, they retire YOU, permanently. There was a joke page on the internet once comparing the Pope to the WT Society. There was also one comparing Rutherford to Al Capone. They were funny as hell. But what was more disturbing was the fact that they were true.
Well, I didn't mean to write a book. I just think it's sad that this emotional damage affects so many people. No one should be afraid in her own house. It doesn't say very much for Jesus when his "true followers" act this way. Of course, Jesus doesn't approve, so it's the WT that looks bad. I hope someday to get them all at one shot. Then this nightmare will be over for us and maybe the world can move on. My best to all. Oh, if you REALLY don't want a surprise visit, borrow a pitbull and chain it to the gate.
