by greendawn 17 Replies latest jw friends
Did things happen eg people told you things that got you doubting about the WTS while you were on the field service?
I recall a girl I had never met before who was crying (after we talked for a while) for being shunned by another local congo, and I thought that it was too cruel to shun people and something was not right with the JWs.
Hello there, Greendawn:
Yes, there was a retired man, who was a Catholic priest. He got asked to leave the priesthood because he was very much, an activist. He was the leader or co-leader of many groups. Anti-war, anti-discrimination against the Arab population, against- privitizing social security,etc. He was always so kind to me..as I called on them alot. He, one day, looked at me in the eyes....and said, "how do you justifiy not doing anything to help your fellow man, with all the problems that are in the world? "
I just sat there with my mouth open.. no answer... But he's had no idea what an impact that had on me..
this is what started my drifting. i was out in service alone because i was a pioneer low on hours and the only other person who showed up to the service meeting was a sister my age who didn't think i was cool enough to go out in service with. so i went alone and trusted that jehoba would take care of me if anything happened. i went to a door and a guy came out and very confidently asked me a bunch of personal questions about why i was doing this and what i was getting out of this. nobody ever asked me anything personal before, it was always about doctrinal issues. most people looked at me as a religion not an individual like this guy did. he asked me why i even beleved in god and i was so upset with myself for not being able to answer with an honest question. instead i was looking for things to read to him out of the reasoning book. he didn't want a read answer he wanted my answer. so after talking with him for about an hour i left with no dignity at all. i asked several elders to go back with me so that they could reason with him but none were ever available. it bothered me so much that i couldn't honestly answer him that i began to dout my loyalty to god and the j-dubs. a month later i quit pioneering (going on my second year) and studied as much as i could. but nothing could get me to feel anything towards god or the religion that was genuine. i observed people treating me different and even my witness roomates kicked me out of the apartment. it was a very bad time for me, but also exciting. i think i knew that it was the beginning of a new life for me and it scared the crap out of me...
Did things happen eg people told you things that got you doubting about the WTS while you were on the field service?
absolutely!!!! I cannot adequately share how deeply I was affected by an experience I had with a return visit I had. This was my first MAJOR wake up call from the Universe regarding my involvement with JW's.............suffice it to say that it helped lay the ground work for other moments that all culminated in me walking away from the local congregation I was part of as an elder's wife, in perfect standing. This experience ate away at me for years, before I finally left, but, I count it, along with the 1995 change of policy in the Watchtower regarding "this generation will see the end of this system" dogma, as my deepest soul telling me what I needed to continue in a greater life's purpose. I had studied in the blue "Truth" book at age 14, and been totally indoctrinated in the absolute certainty that the end was coming in 1975. My mom, still a faithful witness, corroborates this memory. She remembers the brother and his wife, then members of Watchtower Farm, sent as special pioneers to our small town in Upstate New York, to support the newly formed congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses. They studied with me, my sister, and my mother for approximately 1 year in the very early '70's...........mom remembers Jerry telling her that the end was coming in 1975. She also remembers a moment when she was studying the chapter about idols that certain religous systems use to connect with God, such as the Cross. Judy, Jerry's wife interrupted a comment Jerry was making to share that Jerry had a Cross, in his possession, that had been given to him by his mother. Mom's perception of that moment was that Jerry, while fully knowing, and especially as a member of the staff at Watchtower Farms, was still not fully practicing in his life, what the WTBTS, and the Bible, was saying about "graven images". I know, looking back, that some of my feelings and perceptions at that moment were feeble precursors of a strong intuition and "gut" feeling, even at age 14. I sometimes look back at those times and I play the game of "what if" and "if only" but, the facts remain that I walked the path I walked...............but, I am also aware today, that I have a broad range of choices and that I have a right to make my own personal choices in life.
Hugs,
Terri
A very nice pastor asked me why I had to read the Watchtower along with my Bible. Wasn't the Bible meant for the common man?
5 years later I was free from the cult.
A young 'born again' in my school-her name was Debbi Schoon-was everything wonderful that the Borg said the world could not be. She was a direct contradiction to hypocrisy (all Christians are hypocrits, you know!), dishonesty, moral laxity, etc etc, that we were always told the "world" was. I started paying attention to all the kids in school-and there were a LOT of really nice kids who were not doing drugs, cheating, etc etc and that was my first clue. But Debbie was the "born again" that got me paying attention, cause she was the one that was out their with HER faith and her beliefs. Wasn't obnoxious about it, but everyone knew where she stood. And that made me open my eyes. I had other experiences, but that was one that I would count as FS since I did try to talk to her about my religion. Whats funny is she tried to talk to ME about Jesus, and her faith in HIM. Hmmm.
I was the sole support of me and my children. Of course I never received any help or assistance from the Witnesses. I had only a part time job that couldn't meet my rent or expenses with my kids. One despairing year for me and my children was when we were soon to be evicted from our house and there was no food for my kids. It was Christmas time, which of course I didn't celebrate.
Christmas Eve there was a knock on my door and when I opened it, lo and behold there was a young couple with several bags of food sent by their church. Fruit, candy--wonderful things my children seldom got. They brought the bags in and said "God bless you". No sermon, no invitation to their church. Just wonderful concern over those less fortunate than themselves. I was so taken aback that after they left I cried, because I could not understand how people so kind would be condemned by the Watchtower Society when they had been the Good Samaritans--not the Witnesses. That memory stayed with me and I could never reconcile the contradiction except by thinking that someday they would be converted to JW's.
Wow, instant flashback. . .18 years ago, I was a RP. A woman came to the door (my turn) and said very seriously that she hated the jws because her daughter became one at age 19, within a short while got DF'd, became so depressed that it ate her up and this poor woman, the mother, said she could not help her daughter--the girl was so despondent about the annoucement and being shunned, that she killed herself. She went on and on about how the DFing doctrince is so harsh, I knew all the stock responses, but there was going to be no explaining to this mother. . .and rightly so. My partner interupted and said, "We're sorry for your loss but that hasn't been our experience." We left.
This was in Arizona, I wonder if this woman ever posted here.
UGH!!!
I hate to admit this but I was a hardheaded, stiffnecked and very stubborn JW who thought I had all the answers for anyone out in service or in my family. I sucked down everything the WTS taught without question, and spouted it right back out when needed.
Field service was not my downfall.....the lack of love I experienced was the turning point....and the internet was my eye-opener. I must have been "ready" to SEE what the WTS was and who I was "serving" all along.
Things just hit me on a deeply personal level, and I just couldn't lie to myself any longer. Although it cost me my family, I do not for one moment regret walking away from that lying and evil cult.
hugs to us ALL,
Annie
Lots of very interesting stories, the sum total is that there are many wonderful people in the world who are indeed nicer than the average JW, and who may help more than fellow JWs.
That shunning experience which led to a suicide is very tragic but unfortunately it happened several times. How diabolical when Isaiah prophesied about Jesus:
"A bruised reed He will not break
And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish;"
He wouldn't damn the weak like the JWs do, he would have a noble spirit of magnanimity.
